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Switch to Forum Live View Healthy Lifestyles Include Recreational Sex
6 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 8:30PM #1
etsryan
Posts: 1,640
Another poster had this to say on another thread:

"A healthy life style includes recreational sex."

First off, defining "recreational" sex would be good in order to agree on terms before discussing issues.  I presume "recreational" means different things to different people.  I presume "casual" sex could be the same thing, but not necessarily.  I think the term "recreational" is too vague in and of itself. 

Also defining "healthy" lifestyle...it isn't always a given - and can mean different things to different people.

Second, determining whether having sex at all is healthier than not having sex at all would help establish parameters for discussion.  (the extremes)

Then applying the definition of 'recreational' sex to the claim that "healthy lifestyles" include it would be up for debate.

I think a lot of folks' views on this subject vary quite a bit, but I could be wrong.  I could get into some personal experiences that aren't the best without being too explicit.  What do you/others have to say for starters?
Risen Lord Jesus' Peace!
e.t./sue ><:> *:D (: + 
Yesh!  www.muttscomics.com
www.chesterton.org
American Chesterton Society Conference-usually in St Paul, MN Mid-June, but the 2009 Conference is scheduled Aug. 6-8 in Seattle, WA - you go, West Coast...
Some of what Gilbert K. Chesterton says:
"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it."
"I agree with the realistic Irishman who said he preferred to prophesy after the event."  (Happy St. Patrick's Day!)
"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him."
"War is not 'the best way of settling differences; it is the only way of preventing their being settled for you."
"If there were no God, there would be no atheists."
"Once abolish the God, and the government becomes the God."
"Men are ruled, at this minute by the clock, by liars who refuse them news, and by fools who cannot govern."
"He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative."
"You can never have a revolution in order to establish a democracy. You must have a democracy in order to have a revolution."
"A citizen can hardly distinguish between a tax and a fine, except that the fine is generally much lighter."
"Men do not differ much about what things they will call evils; they differ enormously about what evils they will call excusable."
"There are some desires that are not desirable."
"Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions."
"Religious liberty might be supposed to mean that everybody is free to discuss religion. In practice it means that hardly anybody is allowed to mention it."
"The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man."
"You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion."
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 8:50PM #2
Sailorlal79
Posts: 1,365
"recreational" means, you're having sex because you want to and it feels good, not because you are trying to make a baby or are following some biblical mandate. Recreational sex is definitely a healthy, normal human behavior.

In Forbes:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16282622/

Self Help Magazine:
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/good-sex.php

The Guardian: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2006/feb/1 … opstories3

MSNBC: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/19696794/

WebMD: http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/ … its-of-sex
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 9:15PM #3
lAuR1987
Posts: 174
I am personally waiting til marriage; but many do not feel the need or desire to. Whether or not sex is necessary to a health lifestyle cannot be answered simplistically...I can say as someone who studies anthropology, some cultures consider sexual activity as natural and necessary as breathing, while others shun it as sapping male strength and only have sexual intercourse to procreate. *Shrugs* There probably is no universal answer, and it is best for the individuals involved to decide whether or not they feel it should be a component of their relationship.
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 9:50PM #4
mountain_man
Posts: 39,388
[QUOTE=etsryan;946002]Another poster had this to say on another thread:

"A healthy life style includes recreational sex."

First off, defining "recreational" sex would be good in order to agree on terms before discussing issues. [/quote]
Sex for fun.

What do you have against sex? It seems most of your posts are about people not having sex?  Sex, between consenting adults, is not a bad thing.
Dave - Just a Man in the Mountains.

I am a Humanist. I believe in a rational philosophy of life, informed by science, inspired by art, and motivated by a desire to do good for its own sake and not by an expectation of a reward or fear of punishment in an afterlife.
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 10:23PM #5
etsryan
Posts: 1,640
[QUOTE=Sailorlal79;946040]"recreational" means, you're having sex because you want to and it feels good, not because you are trying to make a baby or are following some biblical mandate. Recreational sex is definitely a healthy, normal human behavior.

In Forbes:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16282622/

Self Help Magazine:
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/good-sex.php

The Guardian: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2006/feb/1 … opstories3

MSNBC: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/19696794/

WebMD: http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/ … its-of-sex[/QUOTE]

Okay, I guess I need to differentiate between monogamous 'recreational' sex and promiscuous 'recreational' sex.  I guess when I hear the term 'recreational' used with sex, I think of something like a 'fling' - maybe something short lived, with someone one isn't committed to/married to/living with.  Something that may also be serial...one after another or more than one partner at the same time...  technically the term RE CREATE might actually have to do with reproduction/getting pregnant, etc.  I assume that is not what was meant by the person whose quote I used for this thread. 

To me/for me personally the term 'recreational' seems too casual for a sexual relationship.  That is probably because I have a preference for a serious/intense (and fun) monogamous involvement/marital sexual relationship.  Others are off and running in a different direction than that.  I get the feeling that the conservatives and the liberals on this topic don't exactly mix well.  I believe there may be some condemnation or perceived condemnation by some folks also.  I have no idea whether there is a majority on one side or the other.  Either way, it seems that accomodation for both extremes and those in between is the order of the day in a pluralistic democracy.

I clicked on some of the links provided and on some of the links on the links as well.  Interesting and thanks for providing them.  I think one key issue is that the sex has to be "satisfactory" to be beneficial.  Defining "satisfactory" is necessary then.  What satisfies one person may not even be close for another. 

so do "casual" and "recreational" mean the same thing as far as sex goes?  To me a lot of what some people do these days is way too casual to me.  I am okay being prudish compared to others.  I dislike being put down for not fooling around more (and yes, I do get hassled about it...as if one has to be on the bandwagon or else!)  After some of the stuff I have been through, sex is one of the furthest things from my mind since I am not involved with anyone romantically.  I do not wish to be sexual with someone just for the sake of having sex.  I don't care what the 'benefits' are or supposedly are.  I would rather feel/be spiritually/morally grounded/intact than fooling around and feeling like/being more of a hypocrite than I am/some think I am already.
Risen Lord Jesus' Peace!
e.t./sue ><:> *:D (: + 
Yesh!  www.muttscomics.com
www.chesterton.org
American Chesterton Society Conference-usually in St Paul, MN Mid-June, but the 2009 Conference is scheduled Aug. 6-8 in Seattle, WA - you go, West Coast...
Some of what Gilbert K. Chesterton says:
"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it."
"I agree with the realistic Irishman who said he preferred to prophesy after the event."  (Happy St. Patrick's Day!)
"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him."
"War is not 'the best way of settling differences; it is the only way of preventing their being settled for you."
"If there were no God, there would be no atheists."
"Once abolish the God, and the government becomes the God."
"Men are ruled, at this minute by the clock, by liars who refuse them news, and by fools who cannot govern."
"He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative."
"You can never have a revolution in order to establish a democracy. You must have a democracy in order to have a revolution."
"A citizen can hardly distinguish between a tax and a fine, except that the fine is generally much lighter."
"Men do not differ much about what things they will call evils; they differ enormously about what evils they will call excusable."
"There are some desires that are not desirable."
"Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions."
"Religious liberty might be supposed to mean that everybody is free to discuss religion. In practice it means that hardly anybody is allowed to mention it."
"The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man."
"You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion."
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 10:35PM #6
Sailorlal79
Posts: 1,365
Well, I have "recreational" sex with my husband fairly often:) Casual sex? (meaning, sex outside of a committed relationship). I don't think it's the best idea, but I don't think it's terrible either. To me, it's just a phase you go through.
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 10:41PM #7
PaulaEdwina
Posts: 1,720
Okay, I guess I need to differentiate between monogamous 'recreational' sex and promiscuous 'recreational' sex

What's the difference between monogamous recreational sex and promiscuous recreational sex? If you have fewer than 4 lovers a year it's monogamous, but more tha 4 it's promiscuous? I think it's an arbitrary measure.

Tell you what: IMO, whether you're having sex or not, regular orgasm is a healthy lifestyle.

From another post:

so do "casual" and "recreational" mean the same thing as far as sex goes?


Only if you define them to mean the same thing.

I dislike being put down for not fooling around more (and yes, I do get hassled about it...as if one has to be on the bandwagon or else!)

How do they know you're not having sex?


After some of the stuff I have been through, sex is one of the furthest things from my mind since I am not involved with anyone romantically.

Perhaps this has a bit to do with your choice of abstinence?

I do not wish to be sexual with someone just for the sake of having sex. I don't care what the 'benefits' are or supposedly are. I would rather feel/be spiritually/morally grounded/intact than fooling around and feeling like/being more of a hypocrite than I am/some think I am already.

Free country last time I checked.


Paula
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 10:45PM #8
etsryan
Posts: 1,640
[QUOTE=mountain_man;946181]Sex for fun.

What do you have against sex? It seems most of your posts are about people not having sex?  Sex, between consenting adults, is not a bad thing.[/QUOTE]

Define fun.   I think the guy who raped me when I was a teen thought it was fun.  It was hell from my perspective and still is.

I have something against the way sex gets abused these days and the liberties some people take when approaching people (this person) for it.  Really rude sleazy unkind and irresponsible a lot of the time.  Some people don't care who they sleep with or how fast they disappear afterward either.  No wonder so many STDs are all over the place.  Yes, I have a problem with folks making themselves sick and letting each other down so much.  Physical and mental health issues as a result of devaluing sex/each other.  Epidemic.

Most of my posts have been on the abortion debate board and have to do with ideas for reducing abortion by reducing unplanned pregnancies which gets into why folks who aren't ready to parent are having sex and birth control failure rates.

I believe our bodies - at least when it comes to being a person of faith in the Christian tradition and I believe other faiths and people in general as well - are 'temples' and not meant for illicit sex/immorality/fornication/sin, etc.  As a believer/Christian, my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit - first and foremost.  I am not to use my body for immorality/sinful purposes.  My definition of sin is Bibilically and faith community tradition based:  sex is for marriage only.  From my point of view, even if two people are adults and do consent, if they are not laying down their lives for one another as husband and wife, there is a problem with that kind of sexual relationship.  So for me and others who believe as I do, sex outside of marriage - even between consenting adults - is displeasing to God and not morally sound and is not good for the people involved. 

Once again you claim something isn't bad (presuming/assuming - one size fits all?) that others believe (and some have personally experienced this) to be sinful/bad/not good/immoral.  Why don't you say "I don't think sex between consenting adults is bad."  To which I would reply as I just did.  Please try not to omit the "I think" or "I don't think" from your claims.  I think it helps make the communication better/clearer.

Also, the two consenting adults staying at my neighbors house had an unplanned pregnancy or changed their minds about being parents and the conceived child was aborted or so I hear.  So consenting adults having sex can result in someone's death (the baby in the womb).  To me this is not good/is bad.  Also, they don't seem to be all that  happy even though they have each other.  I believe/pretty much know they drink to excess, bash others...  not sure why.  What do they have to complain about really?  They have money, a place to stay, each other...  I would think they would be having the time of their lives...but something is missing/wrong and getting wasted regularly must help them cope.  Go figure.  Many folks would be happy as clams, but they seem unhappy somehow.  Otherwise, why be bombed all the time?  (I am talking basically 24/7)
Risen Lord Jesus' Peace!
e.t./sue ><:> *:D (: + 
Yesh!  www.muttscomics.com
www.chesterton.org
American Chesterton Society Conference-usually in St Paul, MN Mid-June, but the 2009 Conference is scheduled Aug. 6-8 in Seattle, WA - you go, West Coast...
Some of what Gilbert K. Chesterton says:
"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it."
"I agree with the realistic Irishman who said he preferred to prophesy after the event."  (Happy St. Patrick's Day!)
"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him."
"War is not 'the best way of settling differences; it is the only way of preventing their being settled for you."
"If there were no God, there would be no atheists."
"Once abolish the God, and the government becomes the God."
"Men are ruled, at this minute by the clock, by liars who refuse them news, and by fools who cannot govern."
"He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative."
"You can never have a revolution in order to establish a democracy. You must have a democracy in order to have a revolution."
"A citizen can hardly distinguish between a tax and a fine, except that the fine is generally much lighter."
"Men do not differ much about what things they will call evils; they differ enormously about what evils they will call excusable."
"There are some desires that are not desirable."
"Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions."
"Religious liberty might be supposed to mean that everybody is free to discuss religion. In practice it means that hardly anybody is allowed to mention it."
"The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man."
"You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion."
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 10:52PM #9
PaulaEdwina
Posts: 1,720
Define fun.

Sex fun? Laughing, wrestling, sweating, orgasm.

Most of my posts have been on the abortion debate board have to do with ideas for reducing abortion by reducing unplanned pregnancies which gets into why folks who aren't ready to parent are having sex and birth control failure rates.

Marriage or not, I'd guarantee that people want sex more often than they want babies.

I believe our bodies - at least when it comes to being a person of faith in the Christian tradition and I believe other faiths and people in general as well - are 'temples' and not meant for illicit sex/immorality

More quality statements about sex.

/fornication/sin, etc. As a believer/Christian, my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit - first and foremost. I am not to use my body for immorality/sinful purposes.

More quality statements about sex.

My definition of sin is Bibilically and faith community tradition based: sex is for marriage only.


Because marriage is the only way to redeem this otherwise temple-defiling act?

From my point of view, even if two people are adults and do consent, if they are not laying down their lives for one another as husband and wife, there is a problem with that kind of sexual relationship.

Of course in reality there are husbands and wives who do not share such a relationship, and non-married, even short-lived partnerships that do. There is nothing in the institution of marriage that guarantees such an attitude from one's partner. So if these are your criteria for the redemption of sex, I propose that these criteria exist inside and outside of marriage.

So for me and others who believe as I do, sex outside of marriage - even between consenting adults - is displeasing to God and not morally sound/good for the people involved.

Wow, what a burden to carry. Your god would be displeased by the sexual urges your god created in you?

Also, the two consenting adults staying at my neighbors house had an unplanned pregnancy or changed their minds about being parents and the conceived child was aborted or so I hear. So consenting adults having sex can result in someone's death (the baby in the womb). To me this is not good/is bad.

Your worry is based on the belief that married people always want babies, and only have sex to have babies, and never have recreational just-for-the-heck-of-it sex.

Paula
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 11:00PM #10
ManzanitaBear
Posts: 946
If I hear the words "recreational sex," I think sex for pleasure.  As opposed to procreation.  But that's a false dichotomy, because if you're having sex and not enjoying it, something's really wrong!  Even if you do want to procreate, it should also be recreational sex.  And if you don't want to procreate, sex is still good.  It helps hold the relationship together.
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