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Switch to Forum Live View reading my lady's moods
7 years ago  ::  Jan 22, 2008 - 11:13AM #1
rickyvilleza
Posts: 81
Hi y'all; I have a question mostly for the ladies, but the guys can feel free to chime in also.
Me and my lady have a very fine love life, and she has told me many times how fun it is making love to me.
I always try to be gentle and get her very ready before we have intercourse.  The other night, after making some love to her, I moved into position to have intercourse, but she gently pushed me away and then gave me oral
sex.  After that, she was receptive to full intercourse.

But, the next night, we had a long discussion about sex.  She said; "how do I let you know when sometimes I'm in the mood just to be oral?"  Then she said "you're very hard to read, I can't tell when you're satisfied, so
I don't want to stop with oral sex, because I want to make sure you're satisfied."  I'm not sure I have a good answer.  Yes, I often have the urge after oral sex to have full intercourse, but I want to be sensitive to my lady's
needs and not go further than she wants.  I told her "Cutie, every time we make love is wonderful to me, and
I am completely satisfied!"  I asked her if she was satisfied, and she said "yes, but I want you to be too!"
I just am very quiet and don't always ejaculate because of my medication, but that just makes me last a lot longer to please my lady and believe me I get off wonderful because I know she does.
I don't want to stop everytime we have oral intercourse, because she aknowledges that she almost always has orgasm when full intercourse. 

As a guy how should I handle this?
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 22, 2008 - 6:24PM #2
Hatman
Posts: 9,634
Ricky-
Start making noises.

Let her know when something she does pleases you.

Your silence is communicating that either she is not pleasing you, or what she's doing is having no effect.  She wants effect as much or more than you do.  Give that to her.

Also, there are times when some women just want a man to take charge and take THEM, and not be quite so solicitous as to wait for her to be ready.  This is something that's often difficult to talk about, as most women assume that you want them, and will take them the way YOU want, satisfying YOUR desires.

So shy, schmy.  Speak up.  Both with words and with sounds that have no words.

Warmest regards-

Hatman
"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 23, 2008 - 10:19AM #3
rickyvilleza
Posts: 81
Thanks hatman for the advice.  I will try to heed your advice, especially about being vocal and letting her know what pleasures me.  I am not really very experienced and
I have been thinking that as long as she gets satisfied, everything is good, but I realize it works both ways and that is very important to her like you say.
God bless.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 23, 2008 - 10:47PM #4
qtbabe
Posts: 823
Very nice story Ricky!!! communication is important!!!  I totally agree with Hatman's advices!!!

Sounds like you guys have a good communication already....just be a little more specific!!

Cheers
QT:)
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 29, 2008 - 11:21PM #5
SatanicStalker
Posts: 719
I agree that it sounds like you're already in a wonderful place.  My mate and I have found that some of the simplest, most direct communication works well for us. It may seem a little weird at first, but it really does work to ask, "do you want to go farther tonight?" or "what kind of sex are you in the mood for?" or "let's have oral sex." It may not be the best way for everyone, so experiment, and talk all the way through the experimentation. Encourage her just to tell you what she's in the mood for, or ask her what she's in the mood for. And, sometimes, tell her what you're in the mood for and ask if that sounds good to her. When you come from a place of honest desire to please one another and share, which from your description you definately do, it's hard to really go wrong.

~Stalker
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 30, 2008 - 8:39AM #6
REteach
Posts: 14,833
I agree.  We just tell each other what we want.  Why try to read another's mood if they can talk?  Just be sure the talk is honest, and not running counter to nonverbals.  My husband kept describing what felt good, and now I've got it down.  Ditto for me.
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard was not what I meant...
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 31, 2008 - 11:24AM #7
VG59
Posts: 3,368
If my husband tried to read my mood, oh the poor man!! What trouble would become him.  LOL sometimes I don't even know my peri menopausal mood.

I would speculate that in your situation you are pleasing her quite well and she just wants to make sure you are getting the same sort of pleasure she is.  Maybe I am over identifying but sometimes I feel like I am just laying back and enjoying a wonderful journey while my man is doing all the work.  And I worry that he is not being as pleasured as the joy he is bringing to me.

I agree with everyone else just keep communicating.  Let her know what your wishes are and let her know when something is particularly nice, we need feedback!

Another possibility to consider, is sometimes a woman may not be interested in being touched all that much but is perfectly happy to be doing a lot of the touching.  I think that goes for me along with my "change" of life.  My body at that given time just isn't into that sort of intensity, but that doesn't mean I don't want to provide that experience for my husband.

Another thought, sometimes I am fully aware that I am not interested but know that my husband is.  I have for myself a "ten minute" rule.  It is my own rule that even though I am not interested I will give it 10 minutes and reassess my interest.  If I start out with taking care of him and he slowly starts to take care of me, the vast majority of the time I have changed my interests in the 10 minutes.

This for me is a "transitioning" issue.  It is often tough for me to transition from one state or activity into another, particulary after a stressful or exhausting day.  My body may have shut down and just isn't there. 

Anyway, enough of my rambling about myself.  Just keep communicating!! I do think your partner just wants to be sure you are as happy as you are making her.  What a gift you are to one another.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 31, 2008 - 6:52PM #8
rickyvilleza
Posts: 81
All good posts.  Thanks for the advice!
People very tuned-in and honest at this site.  I'm here to stay.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 31, 2008 - 6:52PM #9
rickyvilleza
Posts: 81
All good posts.  Thanks for the advice!
People very tuned-in and honest at this site.  I'm here to stay.
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7 years ago  ::  Feb 01, 2008 - 7:14AM #10
IreneAdler
Posts: 2,849
[QUOTE=rickyvilleza;255555]  I'm here to stay.[/QUOTE]

Oh this is good news! I am so pleased you will be staying.

Look forward to your insights on the other threads.

:)
Irene.
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