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7 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2008 - 7:04PM #1
Beautiful_Dreamer
Posts: 5,171
I suppose this is akin to the anti-male sexism, but I am mainly responding to the posts telling us women how we 'should' be.

I used to be a fundamentalist. I live in the South. I have heard a lot of prescriptions of how women need to be and how anyone who deviates even slightly is 'sinning' or 'rebellious'. We are currently being subjected to two such lectures on the Anti-Male thread and others-one saying he hates 'feminists' (defined by him as any woman who doesn't do whatever her man tells her to do, all the time, without question), and another one who might seem a bit more progressive, but has talked about us in such sexualized terms that it is very clear that he has no respect for us as anything other than sex objects. The second one claims to be 'fakeposting', but no one is laughing at either one.

So, we have plenty of talk about how women 'should' be. I have heard many, many lessons from 'church people' about how women should be, and the world tells us every message in the book about this.

But what about men? Why don't the churches spend much time at all talking about how the men should be? Why don't we hear anything about men being expected to love and respect their wives, rather than hearing how we somehow deserve it if our man doesn't treat us well? We have heard men say on the threads about how the abusive relationships some of us have been in were wrong, but why do we only hear this on threads, rather than having evangelists and preachers teaching men how to behave properly toward women?  I can honestly say that, in all my time as a fundamentalist, I never once heard any preacher or teacher talk about how treating your wife badly is wrong. I have heard a lot about how we women can earn the respect and love of our husbands....which is basically saying that it is my fault if my husband beats the crap out of me and runs around behind my back.  Why doesn't the world talk about how a 'real man' treats women and behaves? Why don't we see magazine articles talking about how a man can treat a woman well, without sex being used as an incentive?

And no, I do not have issue with men in general. Most of my friends are men. I will say, though, that I was really apprehensive when my husband mentioned that his family is part of a conservative denomination, because I thought he would end up being like my ex and making me feel like crap for not fitting some mold while not making a single effort himself to contribute at all.  The passive-aggressive shit really gets old. But by the grace of God, my husband is more like my father than like my ex, and is a *real man*, not threatened by my having a different opinion.

Call me a bitch all you like. Apparently I am the worst kind of woman around, or so I have been told by several 'real men' around here.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2008 - 8:32PM #2
cultresearcher
Posts: 849
[QUOTE=Beautiful_Dreamer;204160]I suppose this is akin to the anti-male sexism, but I am mainly responding to the posts telling us women how we 'should' be.

I used to be a fundamentalist. I live in the South. I have heard a lot of prescriptions of how women need to be and how anyone who deviates even slightly is 'sinning' or 'rebellious'. We are currently being subjected to two such lectures on the Anti-Male thread and others-one saying he hates 'feminists' (defined by him as any woman who doesn't do whatever her man tells her to do, all the time, without question), and another one who might seem a bit more progressive, but has talked about us in such sexualized terms that it is very clear that he has no respect for us as anything other than sex objects. The second one claims to be 'fakeposting', but no one is laughing at either one.

So, we have plenty of talk about how women 'should' be. I have heard many, many lessons from 'church people' about how women should be, and the world tells us every message in the book about this.

But what about men? Why don't the churches spend much time at all talking about how the men should be? Why don't we hear anything about men being expected to love and respect their wives, rather than hearing how we somehow deserve it if our man doesn't treat us well? We have heard men say on the threads about how the abusive relationships some of us have been in were wrong, but why do we only hear this on threads, rather than having evangelists and preachers teaching men how to behave properly toward women?  I can honestly say that, in all my time as a fundamentalist, I never once heard any preacher or teacher talk about how treating your wife badly is wrong. I have heard a lot about how we women can earn the respect and love of our husbands....which is basically saying that it is my fault if my husband beats the crap out of me and runs around behind my back.  Why doesn't the world talk about how a 'real man' treats women and behaves? Why don't we see magazine articles talking about how a man can treat a woman well, without sex being used as an incentive?

And no, I do not have issue with men in general. Most of my friends are men. I will say, though, that I was really apprehensive when my husband mentioned that his family is part of a conservative denomination, because I thought he would end up being like my ex and making me feel like crap for not fitting some mold while not making a single effort himself to contribute at all.  The passive-aggressive shit really gets old. But by the grace of God, my husband is more like my father than like my ex, and is a *real man*, not threatened by my having a different opinion.

Call me a bitch all you like. Apparently I am the worst kind of woman around, or so I have been told by several 'real men' around here.[/QUOTE]
Oh btw you are suppose to guess what I am talking about in my anti feminists thread.  I have decided that you gals need a dose of your own medicine when you make men guess.  I only believe in beating the crap as you put it if my loving caring wife(Ha) pulled a gun and tried to shoot me with it.  You gals through out history have been rebellious.  Most of you treat your hubbys like crap.  Btw There are No special rules as to how to treat women. as the book says love one another as I have loved you.  The last sentence is how I try to live.  Feminists want special treatment.  You remind me like my sister, you talk nice to other men but treat you spouse like crap. that aint right.  Wonder why I say this, Check your attitude.  IN my house check it at the door.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2008 - 8:34PM #3
PaulaEdwina
Posts: 1,720
as the book says love one another as I have loved you. The last sentence is how I try to live.

REALLY
?
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2008 - 8:47PM #4
cultresearcher
Posts: 849
[QUOTE=PaulaEdwina;204368]as the book says love one another as I have loved you. The last sentence is how I try to live.

REALLY
?[/QUOTE]

I am not tolerant at all.  It says Love not tolerate.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2008 - 8:49PM #5
Sacrificialgoddess
Posts: 9,496

cultresearcher wrote:

I am not tolerant at all.  It says Love not tolerate.





Hmm, the way I see it if you aren't tolerant of those different than you, you really don't love them at all.

Dark Energy. It can be found in the observable Universe. Found in ratios of 75% more than any other substance. Dark Energy. It can be found in religious extremists, in cheerleaders. To come to the conclusion that Dark signifies mean and malevolent would define 75% of the Universe as an evil force. Alternatively, to think that some cheerleaders don't have razors in their snatch is to be foolishly unarmed.

-- Tori Amos
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2008 - 9:06PM #6
Beautiful_Dreamer
Posts: 5,171
[QUOTE=cultresearcher;204364]Oh btw you are suppose to guess what I am talking about in my anti feminists thread.  I have decided that you gals need a dose of your own medicine when you make men guess.  I only believe in beating the crap as you put it if my loving caring wife(Ha) pulled a gun and tried to shoot me with it.  You gals through out history have been rebellious.  Most of you treat your hubbys like crap.  Btw There are No special rules as to how to treat women. as the book says love one another as I have loved you.  The last sentence is how I try to live.  Feminists want special treatment.  You remind me like my sister, you talk nice to other men but treat you spouse like crap. that aint right.  Wonder why I say this, Check your attitude.  IN my house check it at the door.[/QUOTE]

I do NOT now, nor have or will I EVER make men guess what I am thinking. NEVER. Half the time my brain goes so fast I can't even keep up with it myself. Maybe you have some warped image of how all women expect men to read their minds, but I don't. So stop putting words in my mouth.

I DO NOT treat my husband badly. He will be the first to tell you that I treat him very well.  I will never treat him the way you apparently think all women treat their men-by nagging and whining and manipulation. I wouldn't even know *how* to do that, because I was taught better than that and treat my husband like the wonderful man he is.   

I really resent your saying this as if you know crap about me. I do not want special treatment, unless special treatment means I am treated the same way you would want to be treated. Some guy said that way back when, and while you claim to know Him, I haven't seen any of the fruits yet.

I won't be checking anything at your door. I have known too many people like you claim to be, and have been hurt quite a bit by them. For people who claim to know Christ better than anyone else, I have yet to see any of Him in you.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2008 - 9:08PM #7
Beautiful_Dreamer
Posts: 5,171
[QUOTE=cultresearcher;204392]I am not tolerant at all.  It says Love not tolerate.[/QUOTE]

Well if what you have shown us is the 'love' you have gotten from God, I think you got a raw deal.

*MY* God is nothing like the spoiled baby you claim to represent.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2008 - 9:19PM #8
cultresearcher
Posts: 849
[QUOTE=Beautiful_Dreamer;204444]I do NOT now, nor have or will I EVER make men guess what I am thinking. NEVER. Half the time my brain goes so fast I can't even keep up with it myself. Maybe you have some warped image of how all women expect men to read their minds, but I don't. So stop putting words in my mouth.

I DO NOT treat my husband badly. He will be the first to tell you that I treat him very well.  I will never treat him the way you apparently think all women treat their men-by nagging and whining and manipulation. I wouldn't even know *how* to do that, because I was taught better than that and treat my husband like the wonderful man he is.   

I really resent your saying this as if you know crap about me. I do not want special treatment, unless special treatment means I am treated the same way you would want to be treated. Some guy said that way back when, and while you claim to know Him, I haven't seen any of the fruits yet.

I won't be checking anything at your door. I have known too many people like you claim to be, and have been hurt quite a bit by them. For people who claim to know Christ better than anyone else, I have yet to see any of Him in you.[/QUOTE]
First I am glad that you treat your husband good.  I can say most of your gender doesn't.  Special treatment ( defination)  for example swearing if you swear to a woman than men are wrong but it is ok  for a woman do do that to a man.  Christ is not tolerant Like I aM not.  To me if you want to know me, don't hit me with an attitude cause that is what you will get in return.  Well some advice quit being a feminist then you won't get hurt by men.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2008 - 10:11PM #9
Beautiful_Dreamer
Posts: 5,171

cultresearcher wrote:

First I am glad that you treat your husband good. I can say most of your gender doesn't. Special treatment ( defination) for example swearing if you swear to a woman than men are wrong but it is ok for a woman do do that to a man. Christ is not tolerant Like I aM not. To me if you want to know me, don't hit me with an attitude cause that is what you will get in return. Well some advice quit being a feminist then you won't get hurt by men.




I can honestly say that I do NOT want to know you, and actually regret knowing you in the little bit that I have on Beliefnet. You have absolutely NO idea about me, or any of the other women here. I am sorry you apparently have seen some pretty mean women, but not all of us are like that. But you don't care, because admitting that we aren't all alike means you would have to admit you don't know everything, and apparently that is too much for you.

And it is not *me* who started hitting anyone with an attitude on this board. My OP was a bit of a rant, but need I remind you that it is *YOU* who started treating all of us with an attitude. Would you like me to recap the posts for you?

And from what you have said on these boards, it is clear you do not know the first thing about feminists. I would suggest you look it up on Wikipedia, but that would mean that you weren't taking your pastor's word for it anymore.  I stand by my statements that everything you post sounds like it was fed to you and regurgitated back onto this board.

Thank you for reminding me why I am not a fundamentalist anymore. As if I needed reminding.

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7 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2008 - 10:21PM #10
IHOP
Posts: 2,179
Lets see, what do I expect from my man?

Honor,
Fidelity,
Trustworthy,
Trustful
Hardworking,
Honest,
Patient,
Leader,
Protector,
Problem solver,
Bug and rodent squisher;)
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