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Switch to Forum Live View Do men deserve women's respect?
6 years ago  ::  Aug 13, 2008 - 8:53AM #11
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277

Sailorlal79 wrote:

Empty threats are lame, as are clothes from Hot Topic.



It's not an empty threat.  I will hurt someone over my kids.  Hot Topic has the best selection of band t-shirts, she's 14 and she likes band t-shirts.

James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 13, 2008 - 7:48PM #12
Tootsie19
Posts: 172
I must admit- You have me there! I have a 19 and a 17 year old and sometimes I have a VERY hard time taking them seriously- But I still show them respect, even sometimes that respect is tempered with me biting my tongue in a major way!
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 13, 2008 - 9:42PM #13
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277
The discussion is not about taking someone seriously.  It's about respect.
James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 14, 2008 - 9:02AM #14
darcamani
Posts: 2,152
I believe in the inherent worth and dignity of everyone, it is a principle and a practice.

Think about it.   Where does respect come from?   How does it apply to self?
If it is earned, how on earth was it earned?  Did it require intent or was respect a givin based upon??

I see it all as a practice right now. 

I ask myself all the time what respect really means and how to offer and show this amazing human concept. to others and myself.  It has become a part of my families spiritual practice, which includes mindfulness, consideration and thinking before speaking.

Like I said, it is a PRACTICE and we are all very rough, yet practicing consideration leads to respect I think.  Especially when one finds self faced with someone that challenges to the core.

My opinions, my spelling.

Dar
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6 years ago  ::  Feb 22, 2009 - 10:25AM #15
Katja144
Posts: 57

I will hurt someone over my kids.


So you'd commit assault on someone because they don't like where you buy clothes for your kid.  Nice.

I dunno.  There are times when I find it difficult to respect men as a whole.  All you ever see on TV or in movies is that they only want casual sex and don't care about the woman they're with, only care about looks and only want slutty women, and hate their relationships and significant others.  Then in real life you see how prolific porn is and how many people cheat and how most men can't keep their eyes to themselves when a scantily-dressed woman walks by, and you think, "gosh, what I see in the media is true.  Why on earth would I want to be in a relationship with a man and if I were, why on earth would I trust him???"

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6 years ago  ::  Feb 22, 2009 - 12:44PM #16
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277

Katja144 wrote:

So you'd commit assault on someone because they don't like where you buy clothes for your kid.  Nice.


No...If someone disrespects, DISRESPECTS, as in SHOWS NO RESPECT, toward my daughter for no other reason than a shirt she is wearing I will hurt them.
Obviously you have no concept of mothers protecting their children.  I'm so sorry for you.

James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Feb 22, 2009 - 8:15PM #17
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277

Barði wrote:

What if someone is wearing a shirt that has a giant swastika on it?

What if it was a joke about rape or domestic violence?

People are judged by their appearances.  It's a fact of life, and just as a man who wears a stained shirt with an offensive joke on it with his gut looking out won't be looked upon favorably.  Women who dress up "slutty" can't complain if men aren't treating them with all due respect as an intelligent and sane human being.

And granted, I don't follow the latest men's fashions so I am sure I make quite a few fashion no-no's.  I do at least bathe at least once a day, take care of my teeth, work out, and give away clothing when it becomes stained, torn or no longer fits.  Hell, I don't even go to work unless it's in a clean t-shirt and clean blue jeans, and I work with a bunch of men doing sweaty manly things.

Respect is earned, not granted by virtue of being human.  People who dress up in a sloppy manner just make it harder to impress people and influence them.


What does that have to do with MY KID???  She would never wear anything like that.    It's not my job to protect the world... Just the people I happened to bring into it.

James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 07, 2009 - 4:15PM #18
Katja144
Posts: 57

No...If someone disrespects, DISRESPECTS, as in SHOWS NO RESPECT, toward my daughter for no other reason than a shirt she is wearing I will hurt them.


 


People will show disrespect to your daughter her entire life through.  That's what people do to each other.  on a daily basis.  You're going to be pretty busy kicking @ss if you're determined to save her from every little hurt she might ever experience.  And you're going to be teaching a lovely lesson if you show her that violence is the answer to every person who might not like or agree with her.



I have a fine idea of parents protecting their children, but it doesn't include oversheltering them or leaving paths of blood in their wake.  And I hate to break this to you, but that's the prevailing attitude of society.  But I guess you'll find that out when you get slapped with an assault charge, right?



It's actually pretty laughable that you're railing against me as if I'm unreasonable, when you're the one physically threatening strangers on the internet over a generalized joke you take as a personal attack on your daughter.

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6 years ago  ::  Mar 15, 2009 - 5:13PM #19
Bawalker
Posts: 21

Feb 22, 2009 -- 8:15PM, Tmarie64 wrote:

Barði wrote:

What if someone is wearing a shirt that has a giant swastika on it?

What if it was a joke about rape or domestic violence?

People are judged by their appearances.  It's a fact of life, and just as a man who wears a stained shirt with an offensive joke on it with his gut looking out won't be looked upon favorably.  Women who dress up "slutty" can't complain if men aren't treating them with all due respect as an intelligent and sane human being.

And granted, I don't follow the latest men's fashions so I am sure I make quite a few fashion no-no's.  I do at least bathe at least once a day, take care of my teeth, work out, and give away clothing when it becomes stained, torn or no longer fits.  Hell, I don't even go to work unless it's in a clean t-shirt and clean blue jeans, and I work with a bunch of men doing sweaty manly things.

Respect is earned, not granted by virtue of being human.  People who dress up in a sloppy manner just make it harder to impress people and influence them.


What does that have to do with MY KID???  She would never wear anything like that.    It's not my job to protect the world... Just the people I happened to bring into it.


But in my experience, every Tool fan I've met was slovenly and stoned out of their mind.  Just as you instinctively clutch your purse and cross the street when you see a group of young men in obvious gang attire in a dark alley or perhaps a man in an anorak and wire framed glasses lurking out in the parking lot, I tend to ignore most of what teenagers wearing the shirt of a band they've never seen live have to say.

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5 years ago  ::  Mar 18, 2009 - 10:36AM #20
runegurl
Posts: 87

respect for me is a default setting. i am willing to start with the assumption that any person is worthy of my basic respect.  it is their's to lose, and i am sometimes rather stunned at how quickly a whole LOT of people seem to go out of their way to lose it.


clothing?  i dunno.  i am going to a community college right now. i'm 43, most of these kids are 18-to-20, and i usually lmao at how some of them dress.  i used to dress pretty bad, too.  it's part of a certain stage of your life--you try on identities via clothing.  i also lmao at some of the tattoos they sport.  lordy, they are going to regret them someday!  :-D


but it doesn't really undermine my basic belief that respect is something we owe to one another as a starter. 


i find that the "you have to EARN my respect" people tend to be people that *i* wind up not respecting very much, because they want to judge everyone they meet first. they tend to act like every person they meet owes them a personal explanation for everything.  must get exhausting after awhile.


i would lose respect for someone who wore clothing with offensive slogans on it, i suppose.  or at least, they would go down a notch in my estimation. but it's more about a conglomeration of behavior, beliefs, how they treat others (most especially those over whom they have power, even if it's just the waitress at the coffee shop), and how they interact with the world that makes or breaks it for me. 


rune

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