Mar 18, 2009 -- 10:36AM, runegurl wrote:

respect for me is a default setting. i am willing to start with the assumption that any person is worthy of my basic respect.  it is their's to lose, and i am sometimes rather stunned at how quickly a whole LOT of people seem to go out of their way to lose it.

clothing?  i dunno.  i am going to a community college right now. i'm 43, most of these kids are 18-to-20, and i usually lmao at how some of them dress.  i used to dress pretty bad, too.  it's part of a certain stage of your life--you try on identities via clothing.  i also lmao at some of the tattoos they sport.  lordy, they are going to regret them someday!  :-D

but it doesn't really undermine my basic belief that respect is something we owe to one another as a starter. 

i find that the "you have to EARN my respect" people tend to be people that *i* wind up not respecting very much, because they want to judge everyone they meet first. they tend to act like every person they meet owes them a personal explanation for everything.  must get exhausting after awhile.

i would lose respect for someone who wore clothing with offensive slogans on it, i suppose.  or at least, they would go down a notch in my estimation. but it's more about a conglomeration of behavior, beliefs, how they treat others (most especially those over whom they have power, even if it's just the waitress at the coffee shop), and how they interact with the world that makes or breaks it for me. 

rune

If most people are losing your respect, then you are no different from me who says you have to earn it.

We all judge others by their appearance.  Sure, we all say that confidence is sexy, and what's on the inside is what counts, but deep down, each of us makes judgments on others based on that person's appearance.  It's not wrong, wrong is pretending it doesn't exist and lying to ourselves and others that each of us is special.

Feb 22, 2009 -- 10:25AM, Katja144 wrote:

I will hurt someone over my kids.

So you'd commit assault on someone because they don't like where you buy clothes for your kid.  Nice.  I dunno.  There are times when I find it difficult to respect men as a whole.  All you ever see on TV or in movies is that they only want casual sex and don't care about the woman they're with, only care about looks and only want slutty women, and hate their relationships and significant others.  Then in real life you see how prolific porn is and how many people cheat and how most men can't keep their eyes to themselves when a scantily-dressed woman walks by, and you think, "gosh, what I see in the media is true.  Why on earth would I want to be in a relationship with a man and if I were, why on earth would I trust him???"

Well, as a man, I will agree with you that a lot of men are asshats when it comes to how they treat women. But here's the double-edge to that sword... women often excell at ignoring nice guys, yet throw themselves at the asshats. Honesty, I've never known a guy who treated women poorly who had a shortage of women to date.

So, if you (speaking in the collective "you", as in women in general) are so tired of men being jerks, why do you continue to give so much attention to the jerks?

I treat women very well, but it seems like it took me forever to find one who truely appreciates it. (And guess what, she dated a lot of jerks before she met me... go figure...) Anyway, I'm happy, she's happy, we both treat one another with tremendous respect. And frankly, I'd rather go feet first into a hamburger grinder then go back into the "dating scene."

As far as checking out women, I make no apologies for that. Men's sexuality is very visual, and yes, we really are in a prepetual state of horniness. That said, a good man won't cheat on you. I've never cheated on any of my women, and lord knows I had chances. I don't know that men are really interested in "slutty" women. Experience and sexual confidence in a woman is one thing. But really, who wants to be with chick who has slept with everybody in town?  It's nice if your woman can be a slut with you.. but hey, you need to play the game fair and be a slut for her. Just no need to slut around with everybody else.

But good heavens, I'll keep looking at pretty women until I fall over dead. Women are enthralling, beautiful examples of creation... why the hell would I NOT look?

Why, when I go to edit or modify my post, does it create a whole new post in quote form. What I'm a doing wrong?

Well, as a man, I will agree with you that a lot of men are asshats when it comes to how they treat women. But here's the double-edge to that sword... women often excell at ignoring nice guys, yet throw themselves at the asshats. Honesty, I've never known a guy who treated women poorly who had a shortage of women to date.

So, if you (speaking in the collective "you", as in women in general) are so tired of men being jerks, why do you continue to give so much attention to the jerks?

Probably some mixture of gender expectations, socialication, patriarchal hierachical society and the perogative of all genders men, women trans etc to make assess of themselves over 'love' ;)

I treat women very well, but it seems like it took me forever to find one who truely appreciates it. (And guess what, she dated a lot of jerks before she met me... go figure...) Anyway, I'm happy, she's happy, we both treat one another with tremendous respect. And frankly, I'd rather go feet first into a hamburger grinder then go back into the "dating scene."

i hear ya ... dating scences are crazy things ...

As far as checking out women, I make no apologies for that. Men's sexuality is very visual, and yes, we really are in a prepetual state of horniness. That said, a good man won't cheat on you. I've never cheated on any of my women, and lord knows I had chances. I don't know that men are really interested in "slutty" women. Experience and sexual confidence in a woman is one thing. But really, who wants to be with chick who has slept with everybody in town?  It's nice if your woman can be a slut with you.. but hey, you need to play the game fair and be a slut for her. Just no need to slut around with everybody else.

good points imho a healthy relationship (be it hetero, ga, lesbian, bi etc) is in its essence egaletarian and based profoundly on mutual liking, respect, love, wants, desires and shared fantasies, sexual motivations -- me i'm a very, very earthy lady and am fortunate ot be with an equally earthy guy, we both adore sex, nakedness, erotica, vintage images of nakes ladies, we like much the same things with enough diversity to keep things interesting both in the 'bedroom' and out of it ...... imho it just takes a little maturity and as dar so often says COMMUNICATION between partners to help work through any kinks in the road.

But good heavens, I'll keep looking at pretty women until I fall over dead. Women are enthralling, beautiful examples of creation... why the hell would I NOT look?

 i should hope you would look if you didnt you might as well be dead :) my partner and i love swapping naked lady pictures having fun with erotica both written and visual ..... gotta bring a sense of humour ot these things as much as anythign else imho ;)

bx