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7 years ago  ::  Nov 06, 2007 - 10:07AM #31
alezandar
Posts: 28
Personally if I join a group that is not accepting of me regardless of political, religious, or sexual differences it will be absurd to push myself in the door where I am not welcome in the first place; when nowadays there are organizations and places that are gay friendly.

I am very comfortable being gay, in addiction I'ved never felt excluded or mistrusted do to my sexual orientation in the church my family and I attend! and even thou many in the church may not agree with my lifestyle, it doesn't bother me the least, because I too don't agree with theirs!! I go to church because it is the only place where I could quitely talk and have a personal relationshio with God. I have never being discriminated against at work for being gay, as I am totally out but not obstentatious about my sexuality, in other words I don't go around saying "Hi my name is Leandro, I am gay, how may I help you!!! that been said there is a time, place, and the oportunity when to defend one's own identity wether it be one's race, culture, beliefs, or sexual orientation, and that is only when I am mistreated due to my identity in question. I am highly successful in my field even thou my rivals or competition can use my homosexuality as a target, but it hasn't happen yet, mainly because I am good at what I do!!


Leandro
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 06, 2007 - 12:32PM #32
Genocon
Posts: 404

alezandar wrote:

Personally if I join a group that is not accepting of me regardless of political, religious, or sexual differences it will be absurd to push myself in the door where I am not welcome in the first place; when nowadays there are organizations and places that are gay friendly.



But in many places, there is only one group to go to, or the area is rife with bigotry. What else is there to do but fight or hide? Moving isn't always a viable option.

I am very comfortable being gay, in addiction I'ved never felt excluded or mistrusted do to my sexual orientation in the church my family and I attend! and even thou many in the church may not agree with my lifestyle, it doesn't bother me the least, because I too don't agree with theirs!!



You are very lucky, then.

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7 years ago  ::  Nov 06, 2007 - 1:38PM #33
alezandar
Posts: 28

Genocon wrote:

But in many places, there is only one group to go to, or the area is rife with bigotry. What else is there to do but fight or hide? Moving isn't always a viable option.



You are very lucky, then.



You are absolutely right! but if the shoe don't fit why force yourself to wear it?
I have been in that situation before, but rather then risk getting beat up again,
humilated everywhere I go, and even the fear of being murdered in those
places where bigotry rules I chose to leave, not because cowardness, I
simply chose to live in a place where I could live at peace with myself, and
not worry about being hurt, humilated, or even murdered! furthermore I did
have the option of moving on to places where I could feel safe in a more
tolerant community, and believe me there are many communities around
this country that are either tolerant or accepting of gays, or even those who
don't give a hoot about your private life: like the town I live here in
New Jersey!! Are there options? absolutely!!! did I ran away from my basic
human rights? I don't think so, because right now I am living my homosexual
lifestyle to the fullest!! :D



Leandro

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7 years ago  ::  Nov 07, 2007 - 10:41AM #34
Do_unto_others
Posts: 9,296
Leandro,

You say that, as a homosexual, you have a "lifestyle".  Could you define that for us please? I've never understood what str8 people meant by it when they denounce our "lifestyle", since I believe we have lives, not lifestyles. I've never met an openly gay person who even used the term, except to describe their weekend party habits at the clubs. Please enlighten me. Thanks in advance.
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 07, 2007 - 6:41PM #35
Genocon
Posts: 404

alezandar wrote:

urthermore I did
have the option of moving on to places where I could feel safe in a more
tolerant community, and believe me there are many communities around
this country that are either tolerant or accepting of gays, or even those who
don't give a hoot about your private life: like the town I live here in
New Jersey!! Are there options? absolutely!!!



Again, you were/are lucky. But if you go south and/or rural enough in this supposedly enlightened, liberated country, you're going to find plenty of places where being queer is a death sentence. New Jersey is a very different place from, say, rural Alabama.

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7 years ago  ::  Nov 07, 2007 - 9:33PM #36
alezandar
Posts: 28

Do_unto_others wrote:

Leandro,

You say that, as a homosexual, you have a "lifestyle".  Could you define that for us please? I've never understood what str8 people meant by it when they denounce our "lifestyle", since I believe we have lives, not lifestyles. I've never met an openly gay person who even used the term, except to describe their weekend party habits at the clubs. Please enlighten me. Thanks in advance.




My apologies if my use of the word "lifestyle" bothers you, but I personally don't
have any issues with it! it is just a word, as a matter of fact I view everyone's lives
as a unique lifestyle of their own wether it be straight, gay, bisexual, or transgender!
besides growing up in the state of New Jersey, which happens to be one of the
most gay friendly state of the union; as an openly gay man I don't have any
problems with other people's style of living nor they have any issues with my
lifestyle! to each its own!!


Leandro

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7 years ago  ::  Nov 07, 2007 - 10:35PM #37
alezandar
Posts: 28

Genocon wrote:

Again, you were/are lucky. But if you go south and/or rural enough in this supposedly enlightened, liberated country, you're going to find plenty of places where being queer is a death sentence. New Jersey is a very different place from, say, rural Alabama.



Hi Genocon!! I understand your point! but before moving to New Jersey I lived in
the South until my coming out became more like a nightmare, not only for me
but for the family members I lived with at the time, as they were very supportive
of me. Believe me living in those communities is not easy, and even if you dare to
challenge the bigots of the local community, that can make things worse for you.
Personally my only solution was getting out of that community and move up north
with my mother, who finally settled down in New Jersey after getting a job as a head
nurse in central New jersey. I know for some gays it may be very difficult to move
away to a different town, but at least for me it was the best and wisest decision I
ever made.


Leandro

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7 years ago  ::  Nov 10, 2007 - 2:24PM #38
Do_unto_others
Posts: 9,296
[QUOTE=alezandar;52698]My apologies if my use of the word "lifestyle" bothers you, but I personally don't
have any issues with it! it is just a word, as a matter of fact I view everyone's lives
as a unique lifestyle of their own wether it be straight, gay, bisexual, or transgender!
besides growing up in the state of New Jersey, which happens to be one of the
most gay friendly state of the union; as an openly gay man I don't have any
problems with other people's style of living nor they have any issues with my
lifestyle! to each its own!!


Leandro[/QUOTE]

Hi again, Leandro, and thanks for your honest reply. It isn't YOUR use of the word, it is the use of the word (by anyone) as a 'one size fits all' descriptor of ALL gay people. Yes, you have your own lifestyle, and you are correct that it is "unique" to you - as is everyone's. However, my inquiry is about the use by the anti-gay crowd and HOW they use it. They suggest we ALL live "the homosexual lifestyle" and I still don't know what that is or what is meant by it. I know some homosexuals who live in mansions, others who live in trailer parks. I know some homosexuals who go to the clubs and/or the baths every weekend and get blitzed on "E", and I know others who are stay at home types with families and citizenship obligations that they take far more seriously than they do 'getting laid'.

And it is this misuse of the words "the gay lifestyle" that ignore, as you aptly said, "everyone's lives
as a unique lifestyle of their own". THEY use it to condemn; you clearly use it to describe. But it doesn't describe clearly enough what you meant by living a "gay lifestyle". YOUR "gay lifestyle" is apparently quite different from mine. And, as I said, you are the first gay person I've ever "encountered" who actually used the expression to describe how they live their life.
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 10, 2007 - 5:44PM #39
brjohnbc
Posts: 658
I too would be interested in what a "gay or homosexual lifestyle" is?   I've always heard these terms used in a derogatory manner.

Why does one have to have a gay or straight lifestyle ... my understanding is that gay and straight refers to one's sexual orientation.  I live the life of a monk ... tell me how that can be done in a gay manner ... oh maybe twirling around and letting the habit flow .... poof!

Blessings
Bro. John
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 11, 2007 - 11:38AM #40
BetteTheRedde
Posts: 2,325
Brother  John, I have to say that I've just mentally seen you doing a pirouette a la Pierre Trudeau, robes aflying, with a rose in your teeth. :D
"Sometimes they are referred to as the 'radical Right.' But the fact is that there is nothing radical about them. They offer no novel solutions to the problems that plague them; indeed, they offer no solutions at all. They are immensely discontented with things as they are and furiously impatient with almost everyone in public office who can in any way be held responsible for their frustrations. But it cannot be said that they hold any clearly stated objectives or have any specific program either in common or individuals. They are fundamentally and temperamentally 'aginners.' And perhaps the commonest characteristic among them is anger. They can fairly be called, if nothing else, the Rampageous Right."

Alan Barth, New York Times, November 26, 1961
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