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Switch to Forum Live View Study: Women Don't Like 'Nice' Guys
3 years ago  ::  Jul 31, 2014 - 12:12PM #1
Ironhold
Posts: 12,363
...or, at least, that's what Newsweek is reporting.

The study randomly paired off men and women to see how they reacted to each other. Based on the metrics laid out, they noted that while men tended to favor "nice" women, women tended to blow off "nice" men.

I can see the flame wars now... 
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3 years ago  ::  Jul 31, 2014 - 2:39PM #2
rocketjsquirell
Posts: 19,045

they really did not have to do a study to find that out. Visit any Jr or Sr. High school - and you can see it played out on a daily basis  

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3 years ago  ::  Jul 31, 2014 - 3:00PM #3
Erey
Posts: 21,730

I think women like masculine men.  Sometimes people mistake niceness in men as a more feminine quality. 


My husband is a very nice man, very moral, upright,compassionate, caring and generous of nature.  He is also very masculine.  He has not been in a fist fight since he was about 11 years old but you get the impression he would slug someone if they were being too much of an asshole.   He does not shy from competition.  He is not a passive or pacifist person.  He has a sex drive and finds women sexy.  He has a raunchy sense of humor.


When you think of the stereotypical "nice guy"  you think of a guy without much sex drive,  not much ambition and won't deign to laugh at a dirty joke.   In short, we don't know how to identify nice guys in our society.  We are looking instead at de-masculinized men as being the nice guys. 


My husband has a very masculine presence and people are always surprised when they get to know him that "wow, he is a nice guy".  Because they do not expect a  masculine guy to be nice. 


There are alot of guys like my husband.

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3 years ago  ::  Jul 31, 2014 - 3:15PM #4
Shusha
Posts: 6,097

My first gut response is that this idea of "responsiveness" is too broad and too vague.  It can too easily be confused with charm, desperation, over-eagerness, manipulation, clinginess and a host of other qualities which a woman (or a man) might find off-putting. 


I want to look into this a bit farther and will probably have more to say. 

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3 years ago  ::  Jul 31, 2014 - 6:53PM #5
Mlyons619
Posts: 16,955

Women think "nice guys" are wimps?


Probably why most women end up whining about how all the guys they date are "@ssholes" - they're getting what they deserve...

"No freedom without education"
            --Thomas Jefferson

"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition"
            -- Monty Python
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3 years ago  ::  Jul 31, 2014 - 8:59PM #6
TemplarS
Posts: 7,522

I imagine, to the extent this is real, it is just another obsolete evolutionary impulse.


In the old old days, women needed a tough guy who could go out and hunt the family some wildebeest, protect it from prowling leopards, and so on.  Sensitivity didn't count for much compared with claws and hunger.


To be honest, some guys are suspicious of other guys who appear too sensitive. Probably for the same reason.  If you're hunting together, you want a mean SOB next to you.


We live in a different world now, but the old factors making for attraction are still buried in the genome someplace.

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3 years ago  ::  Aug 01, 2014 - 12:27AM #7
BDboy
Posts: 8,220

Jul 31, 2014 -- 3:00PM, Erey wrote:


I think women like masculine men.  Sometimes people mistake niceness in men as a more feminine quality. 


My husband is a very nice man, very moral, upright,compassionate, caring and generous of nature.  He is also very masculine.  He has not been in a fist fight since he was about 11 years old but you get the impression he would slug someone if they were being too much of an asshole.   He does not shy from competition.  He is not a passive or pacifist person.  He has a sex drive and finds women sexy.  He has a raunchy sense of humor.


When you think of the stereotypical "nice guy"  you think of a guy without much sex drive,  not much ambition and won't deign to laugh at a dirty joke.   In short, we don't know how to identify nice guys in our society.  We are looking instead at de-masculinized men as being the nice guys. 


My husband has a very masculine presence and people are always surprised when they get to know him that "wow, he is a nice guy".  Because they do not expect a  masculine guy to be nice. 


There are alot of guys like my husband.





>>>>>> Good post Erey.

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3 years ago  ::  Aug 01, 2014 - 3:16AM #8
Aka_me
Posts: 14,464

the study seriously needed to include the full age range to see how and when the patterns shift...


young women prefer jerks, hitting somewhere around 27 to 30 range women (being done partying and may or may not have run up serious debt from all the partying) want to find a nice guy with plenty of money to settle down with.


the way around this is to seek women from other countries, particularly latin countries.


and the other thing is single moms... they ain't got time to put up with jerks.

I dream in my lifetime uhmericans will come to realize hezbollah, hamas, and isis gain followers by helping society AND the only way to defeat them is to perform greater good.

the average person is 8 times more likely to be murdered by a cop than a radical terrorist
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3 years ago  ::  Aug 01, 2014 - 3:49AM #9
Mlyons619
Posts: 16,955

Aug 1, 2014 -- 3:16AM, Aka_me wrote:


and the other thing is single moms... they ain't got time to put up with jerks.




Why are they single moms in the first place?  Could it be because "Dad" was a jerk?


Again, thanks to their attitude towards "nice guys," women are getting the men they deserve...

"No freedom without education"
            --Thomas Jefferson

"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition"
            -- Monty Python
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3 years ago  ::  Aug 01, 2014 - 3:57AM #10
in_my_opinion
Posts: 4,107

Aug 1, 2014 -- 3:16AM, Aka_me wrote:


the study seriously needed to include the full age range to see how and when the patterns shift...


young women prefer jerks, hitting somewhere around 27 to 30 range women (being done partying and may or may not have run up serious debt from all the partying) want to find a nice guy with plenty of money to settle down with.


the way around this is to seek women from other countries, particularly latin countries.


and the other thing is single moms... they ain't got time to put up with jerks.




Another choice would be women who are not interested in, or are unsatisfied, with concubinage or mistresshood as relationships options. (distressed by mistressity? stressed by mistressness?)

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