I think women like masculine men. Sometimes people mistake niceness in men as a more feminine quality.
My husband is a very nice man, very moral, upright,compassionate, caring and generous of nature. He is also very masculine. He has not been in a fist fight since he was about 11 years old but you get the impression he would slug someone if they were being too much of an asshole. He does not shy from competition. He is not a passive or pacifist person. He has a sex drive and finds women sexy. He has a raunchy sense of humor.
When you think of the stereotypical "nice guy" you think of a guy without much sex drive, not much ambition and won't deign to laugh at a dirty joke. In short, we don't know how to identify nice guys in our society. We are looking instead at de-masculinized men as being the nice guys.
My husband has a very masculine presence and people are always surprised when they get to know him that "wow, he is a nice guy". Because they do not expect a masculine guy to be nice.
There are alot of guys like my husband.
>>>>>> Good post Erey.
The problem with the ideas that a nice guy has no sex drive and not interested in sex is that many people take this a step further to mean if hes unattractive and older hes nice young and sexy means a jerk or a bad guy.
It doesnt happen that way, Im sure there are young goodlooking guys who are good and older unattractive men who are jerks.
When I dated Robert who was a Polyamoruous man, I wasnt upset that he was Polyamourous but he drank too much almost got into several bad wrecks and treated me badly. He use to drool over young women and tell me he thought hed be suited better with someone way younger then me.
He was 57 at the time and i was 43, and he wanted to date 21 year olds even though none of them wanted to date him. He was 57 obese had had a stroke several years earlier and walked with a cain and had a santaclause beard.
Hes the least attractive person I ever dated. But everyone in my family wanted me to marry him. When I told them what was going on even the unsafe situations with alcohol for while they still encouraged me to go out with him.
They were convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was a good good guy. He was obese unattractive and old so hey he must be a good guy.
Its a stereotype. Being unattractive and not sexy doesnt make one a good guy neither does being sexy attractive make a guy bad so.
Perhaps because it is perceived as an attack on American women? What do you think?
look, if the shoe don't fit... then stop jamming the foot in and complaining.
if a foreigner said to me "you americans are a bunch of racists"
I'd reply "well we certainly do have racist people, at a major stadium event once someone a few rows behind me yelled WHITE POWER! which being in an interracial marriage cause me to think it was directed at me. but you see not all americans are racist".
calling me a racist because I'm american is not something I'd take personally, because I'm confident I'm not part of the problem.
or let's say I was continually proclaiming "the hollow earth has a civilization living in it".
you know what? no one would find this offensive because they're confident it's not true...
people get irate at truths they find difficult to accept.
if there is any debate here, it would WHAT PERCENT of american women fit the description being discussed (as opposed to all or nothing).
much like the CDC stats on the obesity of american women, I will believe it applies to the majority
OF COURSE NOT ANYONE HERE
everyone else is free to believe otherwise.
Generalization and stereotype are some of the roots and tools of prejudice; just as guns are meant and used for killing. Both need to be treated with caution and care.
Accidents do happen, but we should avoid pointing a loaded sawed-off at a crowd.