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Switch to Forum Live View 'What Is Marriage?' Changes Over Time
3 years ago  ::  Jun 29, 2014 - 11:22AM #1
Kwinters
Posts: 24,617
More evidence that there is no single traditional definition of marriage, that over time what is 'marriage' changes. We are seeing an update before our eyes.

www.salon.com/2012/01/22/the_invention_o...

As you point out in the book, for much of human history, marriage had absolutely nothing to do with sexuality or sex.


It’s more that marriage didn’t have a lot to do with desire. Marriage has always had to do with sex, and the ability to have marital sex and preferably procreate has always been central to marriage. But what was not so important was whether or not you necessarily wanted to have sex with that person. It was your duty, it was paying the marriage debt, and you were gonna do it, by golly, but  this was a co-worker, this a partner in business enterprise — not a person you chose to satisfy your own personal whims and desires with. If you happen to also like them and think that they were swell or pretty or handsome then that’s great. But that’s not what you were in it for.


And now everything has changed, because we now prioritize attraction, desire, love, romance, over the strictly economic and community-building aspects of marriage. We live in a culture now where we find it very odd when women don’t support themselves, if somebody chooses to be a stay-at-home mother. That is a huge change, and that’s a huge change just in my lifetime. I’m in my early 40s and I know that when I was a very small child those discussions were not happening in the same way. The economic and legal enfranchisement of women has gone hand-in-hand with both women’s and men’s ability to choose marriage partners based on their own desire, desires for sex, love, companionship, all of those things, and to put that first.

Jesus had two dads, and he turned out alright.~ Andy Gussert

“Feminism has fought no wars. It has killed no opponents. It has set up no concentration camps, starved no enemies, practiced no cruelties. Its battles have been for education, for the vote, for better working conditions…for safety on the streets…for child care, for social welfare…for rape crisis centers, women’s refuges, reforms in the law.

If someone says, “Oh, I’m not a feminist,” I ask, “Why, what’s your problem?”

Dale Spender
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3 years ago  ::  Jun 30, 2014 - 1:26AM #2
rideronthastorm
Posts: 9,223

And now everything has changed, because we now prioritize attraction, desire, love, romance, over the strictly economic and community-building aspects of marriage. We live in a culture now where we find it very odd when women don’t support themselves, if somebody chooses to be a stay-at-home mother.


 


That is a huge change, and that’s a huge change just in my lifetime. I’m in my early 40s and I know that when I was a very small child those discussions were not happening in the same way. The economic and legal enfranchisement of women has gone hand-in-hand with both women’s and men’s ability to choose marriage partners based on their own desire, desires for sex, love, companionship, all of those things, and to put that first.


 


Thats interesting Kwinters because Ive had the exact opposite experiences. However I live in Tx the South so maybe its different out here. But all 3 of my sisters married young and that being married having children was their whole entire goals for life still is.


They expected it by me and in a way some of my relatives demonize me in part because Ive never been married its inappropriate to them.


 


But they have no problems with my second oldest sister and you know what? Shes been married 3 times and her last husband refused to divorce her he moved away and now shes living with another man whos financially taking care of her. Hes her fourth one, and thats all she knows how to do is live with men. If one leaves her she quickly finds another and lives off him.


Technically she is living in adultery but hey shes living with a man shes like commonlaw married to him so shes doing her job as a female so my relatives have nothing against her. 

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