|3 years ago :: Jun 01, 2014 - 9:23AM #1|
first dont judge my spelling and or lack of capital letters and lack of doting at the end of a sentence - working with a broken laptop keyboard, also english is not my native language
you can call me wolf and i'm 32
3 months ago me and this wonderful girl started dating and we felt in love fast, we both did and it was for the most part woderful
i was and felt as her personal hero as i helped her break free from a 4 year old relationn where she was literally a prisoner but a relation that ended from her pov 2 years prior to her meeting me
all was well and wonderfull it was the first time in my life i ever felt in love like this, i always tought prior to this that i'm one of those who will never love or be loved in that way
2 weeks ago she broke up with me and i'm a mess ever since, spending the first week in denyal and maybe a bit angry not understanding the reasoning behind her decission and the last week crying several times each day once i understood
as an individual i'm not the most happy with how i lived my life so far - spent a huge part of my life not careing much for socialization, relationships but mostly was into playing online mmorpg's/ i look back at it now and wonder how on earth could i be so stupid
for the last 3 years i went trough some very rough times due to some legal problems ending in a convinction that made it imposible to keep my job - i was army eod/ i''ve spent the last 3 years mostly beeing mad at the world and drinking way to many beers at once and getting in trouble with the law because of my violent and reckless behaviour while drunk - very nasty stuff - hurting myself and others that cared for me
i like to belive i'm a good person and i certanly have my strong parts but beeing a drunken bastard eclipsed it
she gave gave plenty of signs she was not ok with how i was behaving but i was blind to them then
in conclusion my girl left me because of my behaviour and i totally understand that/ she loved me but not the other dude - the drunk idiot/ i'm not that person anymore but that man messed things big time - lost my love, left heartbroken and with a with a big feeling of disrespect twoards myself, guilt and lonellines
i don't know what to ask of this comunity - but only writting this down takes a bit of load of my sould - i find perhaps comfort in knowing well intended people will read this and offer some kind of feedback
yours trully wolf
|3 years ago :: Jun 04, 2014 - 12:16AM #2|
Well Im sorry. At least youve fallen in love. Im 47 and never have and can only have friendships and casual type friendships and relationships with men. I just dont trust anyone enough to fall in love Im mentally ill go get treatment for it and obese and those two right make me a target for con men scam artists and predators.
People at Beliefnet tell me having casual relationships instead of marriage thats physical of course is the most dangerous kind of relationships , and thats where I will run into abusive men killers and scam artists.
But I watch the tv channel Investigation Discovery and policemen and investigators people like that say the exact exact exact opposite of all that.
Truthfully con men have to be in a long term relationship and or marriage or living with you. Mostly they prefer to marry you because they cant get ahold of your finances bank account except through marriage. Last month I was at ok cupid this guy wanted to talk to me about a relationship, he said hed be friends with me first for along time then go real slow, I thought wow thats different so Ill give it a try.
Long story short he had nothing in common with me never said much but listened to every word I said seemed to get excited when I told him I had mental illness. He said he traveled all over the place for a living:He kept calling me hunny, even though we didnt know each other. He avoided me and left 3 or 4 times when I tried to meet him in a public place and hed come back and say that his phone went out so then I got suspicious started ignoring him.
He finally asked why I wasnt talking to him I said I thought youd moved on sense you dont talk much and havnt set a date for us to meet. He said Were in a relationship. I laughed rotflmao Im not in a relationship with you. I told him I havnt even met you how can I be in a relationship with you.
By this time I was talking to one of my other guyfriends about getting together, my platonic friened. But we have a good time you know. ANyways he said we have to put our heads together and figure out a way for me to come out and meet you. I was like dude im not gonna help you do anything get away from me.
I figured out after that he was one of those con men who say their over sease and cant get home to you try and make you fall in love with them through texting then make you send them money that was exactly it.
But there it is, he has to trick you into falling in love with him into thinking your in a long term relationship with him in order for it too work. The reason I didnt fall for it is because I have other guyfriends I can talk too, see maybe if I were looking for a relationship he couldve fooled me.
WIfe beaters never mess with people like me they like to be married. They wont even live in with someone , if your married your less likely to leave, the preacher and your church wont aprove or your family.
To me all the boogeymen are going after people looking for marriages not me.............but I guess theres a few bad guys are out there looking for women like me but I think its way more dangerous to be married. So many shows on ID where someone gets married and the other person gets a life insurance policy kills for the money..................
SO I get tired of people being on my back here at Beliefnet for my lifestyle. Im lonely but I jsut dont want a relationship so I do whatever I have to to not be lonely.
ANyways what I was going to sya to you about your relationship, according to AA if your in a relationship in or order rescue someone from their own life an din order to be a big hero thats called codependancy, relationships shwould not be based on that and if she has to have you to rescue her she was messed up too.
I believe you should have your life together first before you fall in love,if she had to have you to rescue her then somethings wrong.
Life isnt a fairytail, like that old syaing the fairy tail wedding where the princess is looking to be rescued Princess who had her long hair and let it down Repunzel so the prince could climb the tower and rescue her. That should not be ina relationship IMO.