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Switch to Forum Live View Divorce was never the option until now
6 years ago  ::  May 28, 2012 - 8:30AM #1
Posts: 1
Hello, I am torn right now.  I am a Christian and have been for many years.  I met a Christian man and we got married.  He was the perfect person for me.  He was quiet and charming.  He was caring and has once been a pastor of a small church.  But, he was a divorced father with 3 kids. 

We started out rather quickly-we were engaged after 3 months of dating and then he moved in with me (which was totally against what I believed, but I let it happen.  I noticed he had some problems, like using my cell phone to call these things he called Chat Lines. He ran my cell bill up to $700 in one month.

Within this time of getting married and starting our life together, my husband cheated on me with a girl he met on the internet.  He said it was a one time occurance.  He stole money to keep up the chat line habit.  He was emotionally abusive and at night if he didn't get sex he would make me feel horrible and keep me awake until I caved in.  There were nights I didn't get to sleep until 2 or 3.

Now, 3 years later, my husband is arrested for a crime that was an internet sting and he was made to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.  He went to jail for about 5 months total and was put on probation.  I thought it was over and he could do what was right.

We moved to another town but as soon as we got there, he had a woman over that "almost let something happen"He says he didn't go through with sex, but had gotten as far as touching her in her intimate areas.

We started going to an awesome church, got re baptized -he wanted to start over.

 Well, as we started to get back into normalcy, he started getting really deep into the chat lines again and was working in a job where he was texting his girl coworkers alot, and alot during the night.

Now, he is in jail again for violating probation, he confessed all of this to his PO and she violated him and put him back in jail.  He is probably going to prison now, 

I want to give up, but feel so guilty about leaving.  He has had sex with another woman physically since we've been married.  Is this grounds for taking my life back and doing something for me for the first time in 6 years?
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 06, 2012 - 5:50PM #2
Posts: 9,954

Is this grounds for taking my life back and doing something for me for the first time in 6 years?

You had such grounds the FIRST time he abused your trust, so yes.

He's hard-headed and refuses to learn, hence his destination.  When the anchor is sinking the boat, it's time to cut it loose before you go down with the ship.

If you're asking for biblical confirmation justifying divorce, you need look no further than the Cornerstone, who said that "sexual immorality"(among other reasons) is certainly germane.

No one should stay in a relationship where one is not built up, but torn down...whether spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or physically...unless they're masochistic, i suppose.

Warmest regards-


"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 07, 2012 - 11:48AM #3
Posts: 1

Wow, I am so sorry you've been through so much in your marriage. No one can ever really be prepared for situations like these and I don't blame you for feeling confused about what to do here! But, I hope you're surrounded by lots of support during this time? Maybe from your church or family and friends? Also, have you considered getting some input from a counselor? I think some professional advice could be really helpful to you as you decide whether to move forward or not with divorce. Well, I will definitely be praying that you'll know what steps to take here. Hang in there friend!

Moderated by Beliefnet_community on Jun 14, 2012 - 01:38AM
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6 years ago  ::  Sep 04, 2012 - 11:14AM #4
Posts: 4
Jesus says the only way is fornication.Also he said if you lust in the mind you have already cheated but wt you have said this is the only way ,sounds to me longsuffering on your part is done. Pray and keep in his will and you have children protect them!
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6 years ago  ::  Nov 29, 2012 - 1:34AM #5
Posts: 31

No its not a last option to finish a beautiful realtion. God always  creates and matches good realtions and partner for us. So if you want to finish your realtion with just a divorce then its very wrong decision. I suggest you both to give another chance to sort out all distance an always try not to spoil this.


Love Vashikaran

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