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Switch to Forum Live View Considering divorce
6 years ago  ::  Jan 29, 2012 - 2:13PM #1
Posts: 1

I have been married for over 40 years and have two grown children who have their own families.  In the past year I found a lady who I wanted to marry before I met my current wife.  She has had three marriages.  The first was abusive and terminated. The second husband died.  The third was a rebound marriage which also ended in divorce.  We had not seen or communicated with each other until recently.  Both of us have regretted that we had not married originally.  We have not been physically together but have communicated extensively.  We do not live geographically close.  Both of us want an opportunity to see each other and fully feel that we should live out our years together.  My wife and I have communication problems, are not as intimate as once, not surprising maybe, and have a platonic relationship.  I still harbor more love for the original lady than I currently feel for my current wife.  I am considering whether to make do (duty) with my current life or make the change by divorcing so I can morally visit and see my previous love.  She has professed her love for me as well.

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5 years ago  ::  Mar 09, 2013 - 12:04PM #2
Posts: 9,223

If shes been divorced 2 times you might want to consider not marrying her no matter how much you think you guys are in love with each other  the statistics are pretty high that shell continue to divorce.

Thats why I believe in the Polyamoury lifestyle beacuse of thes etypes of situations you could tsay married to you wife and have  a relationship with this woman withot having to marry here Poly means many more then one relationship at a time but sense yall have been married 40 years your probably to onogomous and conservative to go that route but i suggest it anyways.

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5 years ago  ::  Jun 22, 2013 - 5:02AM #3
Posts: 472


Jan 29, 2012 -- 2:13PM, Shufly wrote:

.......... I still harbor more love for the original lady than I currently feel for my current wife. .........

(From a Christian/Biblical viewpoint )

 Paul writes that  "husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church"(Ephesians) , and since  Christ would never divorce us ( the church his bride) and continues to love us even when we don't respond in kind,  I therefore hold the viewpoint that remarriage is not an option and view marriage as a lifelong covenant.




addendum 8-3-13

There may be times ( example spousal abuse) when a wife must justifiably leave her husband, none the less Jesus still tells us that remarriage with someone else is not an option

 A wife must not separate from her husband.K)"> 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife."  I Cor 7 

Jesus is very radical when it come to remarrriage and forbids it because he views marriage as an illustration of his love relationship with the church ( us his bride)  which is a relationship which he would never sever no matter what the circumstances. 

When his disciples where told this  by Jesus they were so blown away and found it so radical from there thinking and from their Jewish customs and what they were expecting him to say  , that they even went so as to tell him that if thats the case its probably better not to get married in the first place. ( mathew 19:10)



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5 years ago  ::  Sep 09, 2013 - 1:21AM #4
Posts: 2,236

Mental abuse as well should be out of the question.

 God is a loving and forgiving God and does not want us to hurt.


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