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Switch to Forum Live View Newly Single - sibling rivalry
7 years ago  ::  Feb 26, 2011 - 3:43PM #1
Posts: 1
Hi all, new to this but I am seeking some support after my long term relationship ended last month. I am surprisingly getting over the break up quite well, despite still missing him and wishing it hadn't ended. The main problem now is with my younger sister, who is three years younger than me. She is still with her boyfriend and has been for 3-4 years while me and my ex were together for 2 years. She was jealous because we were together alot while her boyfriend was long distance (she has since gone to live with him while shes at uni) and now it seems like shes trying to get her own back now since we split up. It makes it worse because we used to double date alot and all got on really well. I may just be imagining it but it feels that she doesn't really care about my feelings and just rubs it in my face. Again this could just be me over reacting. At the moment I am just trying to keep out of her way when they come to visit but I don't want a rift to be caused through this. I just can't be the only one to make an effort.

Any advice anyone?
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7 years ago  ::  Mar 05, 2011 - 10:34PM #2
Posts: 74

Sisterly relationships can be quite tricky - I should know I have 4 sisters!!  In an ideal world your sister should be on your side and be supporting you in every way since your relationship has ended.  However, in the real world there could be any number of tensions simmering under the surface.

If she is jealous of you in some way or harbours some unexpressed animosity toward you she could well be milking this for all it's worth to make you feel bad - I hope this isn't the case for your sake but who knows!

I think you are doing exactly the right thing.  Give her some space and use that as an excuse also for your actions.  You could say that while you are getting over this break up you need some time alone to think through everything and won't be spending as much time with her as previously.

I get along with all my sisters relatively well but had some problems with a younger one about a year ago.  We did not speak for about 4 months (rare in our family!) but it really did us good. When we did meet up we were able to discuss the issues without anger and absence made the heart fonder as we realised we missed the relationship and spending time together.

Interestingly as the eldest I had always felt responsible for her (even as adults) because I was put in that position by my parents when we were young.  During that time apart I was able to release that feeling and it was very freeing.  Sometimes good things come out of bad!

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