“They were always polite, but there was this moment of hesitation,” Ketterson recalled. “They said they’re going to need something in writing from a blood relative. They asked, ‘Are you listed on the death certificate?’ ‘Do you have a marriage license?’ ”

He was and they did, the couple having been married in Des Moines when gay marriage became legal in Iowa two years ago.

Ketterson sent a copy of the marriage license. That changed everything.

“I was respected,” he said. “From that moment on, I was next of kin. They were amazing.”

*     *     *

Despite the protestations of the anti-equality crowd, the purpose of marriage is to establish kinship where none previously existed. I found it profoundly moving (and not surprising) that the military personnel would act professionally and without prejudice. It re-affirmed for me that the 'right' is and always has been wrong on allowing gay people to serve - openly and with distinction - as well as on same-gender marriage.

We ARE family.

Your thoughts?

(To the moderators: I know  this will eventualy get moved to the gay threads, but this is news now. With DADT on its way out and with concerns being expressed as to how personnel will 'react' to out gay people, I hope you'll leave this here - at least for a while. Thanks.)