recently seperated from the girl i loved after four years. she was my first an only love and im having a very difficult time moving on. the seperation happened about a month ago. she's moving on fine, and already interested in another guy. and i'm still suffering, even more so now because of the pain of seeing her with another man. i want to move on and get over this depression but everything leads my mind right back to her. i dont know what to do.
Welcome to Beliefnet, and sorry for the pain this breakup has caused you.
Moving on after being left can be very difficult and painful, as you are surely aware. I wish there were some magic words that could somehow end the pain, and in my experience there are none. It makes sense to feel bad - hurt, betrayed, lonely, confused, etc. Perhaps this came out of the blue with no warning, and you are left in a daze wondering what the $#@! happened? A part of you feels that if only she would reconsider and return then all would be well again.
What sometimes helps is to inquire into the source of the feelings that come up. Is there any familiarity to them? Have there been times in the past when you have experienced similar feelings? What are some of the thoughts behind them - “I’m no good,” “I’m worthless,” “nobody will ever want me,” for example. Then examine the thoughts and see whether or not they are really true or some negative self-talk that is going on. And where might that have come from?
It may also help to talk with friends or write about it here.