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4 years ago  ::  Nov 02, 2010 - 2:17PM #1
Applesandoranges
Posts: 2

I need advice.  I am really good friends with this person I know from work.  Just separated from my exhusband, and he has been there for me.  He is about to seperate himself, but has NOT yet.  


I really like this guy, and I asked him out.  We are going out this weekend as friends, but I want more.  This is killing me though.  I can't stand to be rejected at this point, yet I want to further our relationship.  I don't even know if he likes me.  I just pray everyday that things will turn out ok.  any advice here?

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4 years ago  ::  Nov 02, 2010 - 11:33PM #2
Hatman
Posts: 9,634

Nov 2, 2010 -- 2:17PM, Applesandoranges wrote:

I need advice.  I am really good friends with this person I know from work.  Just separated from my exhusband, and he has been there for me.  He is about to seperate himself, but has NOT yet.  


I really like this guy, and I asked him out.  We are going out this weekend as friends, but I want more.  This is killing me though.  I can't stand to be rejected at this point, yet I want to further our relationship.  I don't even know if he likes me.  I just pray everyday that things will turn out ok.  any advice here?


The best advice i can possibly think of giving you is this:
Never begin a relationship with someone who is IN a relationship.
Especially someone who tells you that they are "thinking" of separating; this is usually a cover to use someone until they grow tired of the novelty, at which point they go back to their spouse, whom they "really love," and dump their little piece on the side, usually with a few choice names, to put the boot in.

So if you DO want to date this guy, let him chase you but refuse his advances until you see his SIGNED DIVORCE PAPERS, then call the courthouse to verify that they're quite genuine.

And if you've "just separated" from your ex-husband, does this mean that your divorce is pending, or that it has been approved?

Generally speaking, at the end of one relationship, it is advisable to spend at LEAST one month for every year of the marriage/relationship just ended processing all the "stuff"---mental, psychological, emotional, even physical---from that relationship before even THINKING about dating someone else.

Rushing into a new relationship is usually a) a sign of immaturity and b) a recipé for disaster, unless you really LIKE repeating the same mistakes you already made.

Warmest regards-

Hatman

"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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