My Own Path,

Interesting food for thought.  Thank you.   I did not explain the full situation as carefully as I might because I was focused on a "psychic" impression/vision I had 14 years ago that did not feel like "fantasy" because it was not consciously imagined or anywhere on my horizon of possibilities at that time to fantasize about.  At least the way I define it for myself, fantasy contains a seed of reality to be imagined.

Shared interests do exist.  I admire him for many things he has accomplished in his life and he admires me for many things I have in mine, though these are different things.   

We continue to communicate in writing, me broken in some ways, him broken in others.  Aren't we all broken?  And I don't know if I agree with timing wrong (or not ideal) means no connection.  I have heard and read many stories of happy couples who met at some inopportune time originally only to flourish later.

I have given a lot of thought to the idea I see in many self-help books about partnership that we need to have all our ducks in a row before we are "ready" to be loved.  To be propsperous in every way before we are able to be in healthy connection with another human being.  I don't buy that.  Self-reliance and self-love are fabulous and essential.  Yet if each individual was truly able to be 100% self-reliant and self-loving, how would humans ever need one another?  Does this really have to be in order to make a successful partnership?  Are there some things we can learn about ourselves and life that we can only learn in relationship?  I have struggled with this, because I have been fiercely independent and kept people away for most of my adult life.  Can't 2 people nurture one another with differing strengths the other may lack?  I am not talking about a completely lopsided codependence but more wondering whether it is possible for 2 broken people to heal simultaneously with one another and alone.

Erin

Waterwheel:
I found my soulmate when we were in highschool together 42 years ago~he was the
most popular guy in school and I was a mouse. He looked like Jan Michael Vincent when
he was in "Airwolf blond hair,cornflower blue eyes,tall and really sexy.
It all began when a mutual friend came up to me and said "HBP wants to go out with you"~
I told this friend "Steph, cut the crap HPB doesn't want to go out with me".
We were standing in the lobby of the school in a group of friends when he came over, put his
arm around me and then kissed me infront of all my friends!! I wanted to die~I wished that
the damn floor would open up and swallow me whole~ I was so embarrassed.
Something happeded 42 years ago that made me swear I would never deliberately hurt him
in any way~ But I did. I kept something from him for 38 years till one week ago.
I shouldn't have~ I should have told him sooner. It was his every right to know~ but I thought by not telling him that I'd aborted our son that I was sparing him such horrid pain.
But in reality I was only causing him more pain when he found out.
But I never expected to receive the reaction I got~ I thought he'd yell and be so mad that he
never would want to even talk to me or see me ever again~ but what I've gotten instead is
his love and forgiveness for being "totally honest with him now"
I finally got something that I've wanted for 24 years~ He wants to talk.
Face to face, not over phone lines but making eye contact.
I'm going to bring loads of tissues~ as I know just looking into those eyes of his I'm going
to be seeing lots of pain~pain that I put there.
I have told him that there's one thing I really need from him~ I need his arms around me,
I know that if he can do that then I'll know I'm forgiven.
Could I ever let him go?
That's not going to happen~ this man suffers from clinical depression,and he's a recovering
Alcholic and an emotional eater.

I feel that I'm the light in his tunnell when he needs a "Safe port in a storm",
I'll always be her for him~any time any day,and any year~ any certury.

If we're all souls living a human experience, we're all soul mates.