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Switch to Forum Live View Could you be 'infected' by friend's divorce?
4 years ago  ::  Jun 11, 2010 - 12:34AM #1
ArnieBeeGut
Posts: 1,407

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Do you think your divorce was influenced by friends or family members - were you "infected" by divorce?


 


 

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3 years ago  ::  Feb 23, 2011 - 5:55AM #2
Ethelq5
Posts: 56

Jun 11, 2010 -- 12:34AM, ArnieBeeGut wrote:

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Do you think your divorce was influenced by friends or family members - were you "infected" by divorce?


 


 


i know this may sound weird but my separation with my husband was highly influenced by my family and friends....

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3 years ago  ::  Feb 23, 2011 - 3:40PM #3
nillawafer
Posts: 587

Feb 23, 2011 -- 5:55AM, Ethelq5 wrote:

Jun 11, 2010 -- 12:34AM, ArnieBeeGut wrote:


Link to article.


Do you think your divorce was influenced by friends or family members - were you "infected" by divorce?


 


 




i know this may sound weird but my separation with my husband was highly influenced by my family and friends....





i spent years trying to rationalize why divorce was not what i wanted but therapy pretty much brough me around again and again to the conclusion it was my only option. my husband said he wanted a divorce first and then after three years and three separations and being just weeks away from finalizing the paperwork he committed suicide, which worked to my advantage in that i got a widow's pension which helped me take care of our three children. i've been a mess ever since though, so i am in a different troublesome situation than divorce. i only have a couple married friends. especially long time married friends. most are divorced or were never married. they never pressured me one way or the other. most of them were friends with both of us.

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3 years ago  ::  Apr 19, 2011 - 1:12AM #4
msunderstood
Posts: 6

Feb 23, 2011 -- 5:55AM, Ethelq5 wrote:

Jun 11, 2010 -- 12:34AM, ArnieBeeGut wrote:

Link to article.


Do you think your divorce was influenced by friends or family members - were you "infected" by divorce?


 


 


i know this may sound weird but my separation with my husband was highly influenced by my family and friends....


I don't think it sounds wierd. Check this out: While my sister's marriage of 13 years was coming to a close, divorce, my other sister was planning a wedding and I was in the midst of repairing my own family (daughter and bf) to reunite after a long separation. Well my sister's divorce was probably the most quickest divorce I have ever heard of, filed and divorced in less than 3 months??? She and all of us were shocked to. Then my other sister whose wedding was scheduled for May is now cancelled and their future is heavily on the rocks and looks like it is going to end. And as for me, I left a very bad relationship with false hope and ended up back on the other side of United States. March my sister's wedding was called off, in April my other sisters divorce was finalized and 1 week later I am across America with a stbx on the opposite side. IS THIS A FREAKING JOKE??? I am stumped on this one, seriously, wth? It's like one bad joke but the joke is on us. How's that for infected?

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3 years ago  ::  Apr 19, 2011 - 3:09AM #5
Ethelq5
Posts: 56

Apr 19, 2011 -- 1:12AM, msunderstood wrote:

Feb 23, 2011 -- 5:55AM, Ethelq5 wrote:

Jun 11, 2010 -- 12:34AM, ArnieBeeGut wrote:


Link to article.


Do you think your divorce was influenced by friends or family members - were you "infected" by divorce?


 


 




i know this may sound weird but my separation with my husband was highly influenced by my family and friends....




I don't think it sounds wierd. Check this out: While my sister's marriage of 13 years was coming to a close, divorce, my other sister was planning a wedding and I was in the midst of repairing my own family (daughter and bf) to reunite after a long separation. Well my sister's divorce was probably the most quickest divorce I have ever heard of, filed and divorced in less than 3 months??? She and all of us were shocked to. Then my other sister whose wedding was scheduled for May is now cancelled and their future is heavily on the rocks and looks like it is going to end. And as for me, I left a very bad relationship with false hope and ended up back on the other side of United States. March my sister's wedding was called off, in April my other sisters divorce was finalized and 1 week later I am across America with a stbx on the opposite side. IS THIS A FREAKING JOKE??? I am stumped on this one, seriously, wth? It's like one bad joke but the joke is on us. How's that for infected?





whew...i dont know what to say... that was really tough situations ... this is a very concrete example of "life must go on" adage...

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3 years ago  ::  Apr 19, 2011 - 11:59AM #6
msunderstood
Posts: 6

Yes, Life will go on and bigger and better things will arise from our bad times. I also wanted to mention we all live in different states and also want to clear that being infected by my sister's then pending divorce was more of a wake up call than being infected by a disastrous disease. All of us were already in bad relationships where we were not happy and sacraficing more than our significant others to make the relationships work.
My sister who got divorced was in an emotionally/verbal abusive situation and that is exactly the situation i was in. She had close to 10 yrs on me while I was working on a tumultous relationship off and on for the past 5 years and it was like looking in the future and I felt like I was fortunate to get out of the situation now than having to be constantly dissappointed knowing that a leopard can't change his spots. It would have continued to be up and down and up and down and needed to get myself and our little girl out of that situation ASAP and did. She actually helped give me the courage to leave. My other sister was and had been unhappy for a very long time. Her issues are not the same as my other sister and I, but hers were no lesser than ours. She is still in her bad situation because not only was the wedding called off, but she lost her job all in the same week. The job right after the wedding being called off. So she is in limbo right now trying to figure out a plan.
I truly believe there is a higher power plan for all 3 sisters to be going through this. It does suck, but "one year from now" everything will be alot better than how it would be if still stuck in those bad relationships and situations. Each day that passes, okay so 8 days for me, but as each day passes, I am reminded that I did the right thing when receiving threatening emails from somebody who claims to love me more than anything but yet threaten to sell my stuff or tell our daughter how bad of a person I am. And that are just a few of a hundreds threats and ultimatums i would and still receive on a daily basis. Very toxic and I was allowing it to happen until this time was the LAST time and i put a STOP to it :)
I am going through the motions, so lastnight when I posted that, i was dealing by venting. But still wanted to let you know crazier or wieder things have happen and will continue to do so :) So you are not strange or crazy.

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