I am 32 and am still single.  I haven't had a girlfriend in about 3 years.  I am thankful because despite being above average in looks I would only date women I wasn't attracted to.  I was told by tons of women how cute they thought I was, but I would reject the ones I wanted and roll out the red carpet for the ones I didn't.  It got so bad I went to the Psychiatrist, I also had denounced Christianity because people would simply say "just turn it over to God" and all of these so called "friends" of mine couldn't relate to this kind of problem.  They rejected me seeking a dating coach.  To make a long story short, now I am willing to chant(namu-myoho-renge-kyo) for a girlfriend and I am convinced that that will work.  I chanted to eliminate my approach anxiety(chanted for about 12 hours) and started to become a pick up artist.  I didn't feel right about this although I was getting numbers left and right from women I thought were beautiful.  Still didn't connect with them for longer than about 5 minutes.  From time to time I will connect with a beautiful woman and I know it is from all of this chanting.  I have been engaged 3 times, but there again it was women I wasn't attracted to persay.  My plan is to drop to six percent body fat, get my debts paid off, be able to approach any woman(already bypassed this, now it is easy), and also chant for a woman I really want.  The lowest body fat I have been at was 10 percent, and guys, if you are single, this is the single most important thing you can do for yourself to raise your value as a man in a womans eyes(as far as attraction).  Sure, cocky and funny and whatnot, but if you get built like a brick wall, even if you are in your late thirties or early forties, 18 year old women will come onto you.  Call me shallow all you want, but it is what it is.  I will chant for the "right" one(as much as I HATE that terminology because it seems so needy), I should say one it will work out with that I will want to be with.  I don't plan on being a pick up artist in the end, just getting in really good shape and chanting for a woman I want to be with, trusting my Gohonzon, trusting the Law of cause and effect. 

I'm just gonna step back from myself, since people think about 'mememe' all the time and just go from observation, study and wisdom.

A person is the way they are, because that is how they need to be. There is nothing 'wrong' with anyone. At times, we make decisions that we regret, and when that happens, we look back and see what went wrong. But nothing did go wrong. A peson, cannot be perfect; in marriage or out of marriage.

If someone is seeking to get married, or WANT to get married, they prepare for it. They scope out guys. They work on cooking, helping with kids and what not. We find our niche, venture out, and find someone who has a similar vision for the future. Of coruse there will be problems and challenges and many give up. But, that is one path in life and there will be a set of troubles for it.

Now, some people prepare themselves for different sorts of futures. Some people reach out through work, Missions/volunteer, Army, etc. Anything you do, you must have a degree of focus and help, since let's face it. If it were all about US, there wouldn't be so many people down here. Again, there are a set of problems on this path too, since there is much to learn so a person won't be come self-centered and end up hurting others.

No matter what we do, or path we take we are watched and observed by others. What is good for us, is not good for othes, thus the danger of asking opinions of people, since there are some that cannot go outside of their area of expertise. Yet, if you do ask many, you can be uplifted for your personal path in life.

We must be wary also, of taking things into our own hands and putting it in other people's hands. Love isn't just emotion, it is many things all rolled up and one, and 'settling' may cause you to miss out on the person that is here for you.

We need both sorts of people, because, people have different capacities of love. Of course, this Love can grow with time, temperance and guidence. (For many, that is God since no one can Love like He can! If you let Him.) We grow from one type of Love, of many to few(i.e: family), and few to many (i.e: involving family in larger groups), over time. We all have a path in life, and even if we make a 'wrong turn' the path is still there.

Keep walking it!

In light and Love,

Starflyer

I think you are one of few waiting for the person God is preparing for you.  We wait on Our Lord and HE will go over this one for you.  He knows our hearts and souls and who better to give us the Desires of our Hearts but HIM.  The bible says its better to keep yourself holy than to defile yourself with Adultry for another or even look with intent of wild desire.  There is nothing wrong with you its US and I for one congratulate you for saving yourself for another.  Thats the greatest gift God gives us for a Lifetime.  Norm

What I meant by AMEN you are right on is: you dont want to be in the place you are now.  You definately dont want to be a pickup and its not fair to you or the ladies.  Relationship is not for everyone especially a lifetime relationship.  First off you are helping yourself with working out and taking care of the body whom ever you want to call them.  I call HIM the Creator and I know HE still loves you no matter which road we take.  Take care of yourself and that means go to someone YOU TRUST and level with them.  Helping hands are better than ours alone.  Go back to school or read books.  Go to work and be the best employee you can be.  When you LOVE YOURSELF then YOU will be worth something to someone who wants JUST YOU.  Be sure She is also someone who cares for herself with less baggage from past experiences.  The less baggage the better bills, kids, families who give you a hardtime, job and just someone who may be someone you wont give the time of day for but would LOVE YOU for who you are.  Norm

I like the rest had looked for a so called meaningful relationship when I was younger(I'm 46) but somehow never lasted long the guy whom I thought was the one cheated or wanted more time and space well to make a long drone short now I'm a mother of a 12 yr old boy and before he was born I had learned so many new things about myself inner self that when I did meet the one who had planned to spend his life with me even wanted to get married but you learn so much by living together about the other person that I saw many triats that I could not live by he was a good natured guy but drank too much and didn't like to work I am a highly motivated and responsible woman,work first then play later by this time I felt trapped by him I need my independance and freedom!!! he only dragged me down now I'm as happy as ever being single I don't think it's a matter of anything wrong with loving being single I just don't need a man to interfere in my life.