Apr 18, 2010 -- 5:12PM, Sistah1 wrote:

I'm tired of the assumption that if an older person (35 and up) is single, then there must be something wrong with him or her. Isn't it possible that these singles just haven't found the right matches yet?

 

singleindependentsistah.wordpress.com/20...

There is nothing wrong with being single for an older peolpe nowadays. But sometimes I admire very much the traditional relationships in the old days, because they managed to keep a relationship for a long time and tried to organise and maintain a united family as long as they can. I take that as a valuable treasure that seldom morden peolpe can do.

may be or may be not .

www.talentidols.com

It's society's issue. We tell all little girls the "should" get married and to wait for there "Mr. Right" or at leadt "Mr. Good enough" to show up and ask her. What a power play that is. If you're not picked, you're a loser...clearly the message begin sent. I think it's worse for woman that men. The words even to describe "Bahelor" vs. "Spinster"... give me a break. In order to be "chosen" you have to be putting it out there to be bought, right? So if you didn't buy into that way of thinking, you probably are not married (maybe never will be) and that should be just fine, with no judgement. People (concerned people fo course) always worry about your loneliness, I know plenty of lonely married people. They worry you'll be alone on holidays, and again, I know many married folks who feel isloatingly alone in a room w/ their spouse or families. I don't judge them. I notice, but I don't judge and certaintly don't lecture. Why do people think the have the right to make a judegmental comment? Well it all comes back to how we as a society raise our children. It seems that often too many times in this country it's ONE way or it's the WRONG way. So maybe this question should be applied to all judegemental topics, like wieght, sexual preference, race raltions, political thiking. What we need is to try to become an accepting and non judgemental society. Stay strong in your convictions to yourself. Nothing, absolutely nothing is wrong with you. Live your live to your fullest with lots of love and no apologies.

Far too often, people obsess over labels.  That's why singles sometimes rush into relationships.  It's also why some, who are in a relationship, are only tenuously so.  We assume all is well when one of the partners is searching elsewhere, or when the relationship, itself, is about to founder.

Truth be told, we are constantly "relating" to other people, on different levels, all of the time.  Our relationships "update" at the speed of light.  Only the most antisocial of loners is disconnected from others.  Each of us, as we pursue happiness with vigor, should be constantly seeking to improve our relationships with others.  We should be mindful of the miracle that is life - which is short and capable of turning on a dime.  

It's important that we not try to control our destiny by narrowing it.

While you can't summon love at your beck and call, you may be surprised by how quickly it can walk into your life when you least expect it.  I looked hard for love, in high school and at home, but found it within two weeks of my freshman year in college. 

Happily ever after?  Hardly.  What you do in a relationship is just an extension of what you should be doing all the time.  People think that finding love means they can stop trying.  Imagine their surprise when they go from the frying pan into the fire.  A relationship isn't free parking.  It's everything you should be doing, while single, but focused on one person.  

Most relationships don't last because the couple outgrow each other.  What they outgrow is the honeymoon.  Once the relationship becomes work, you can hear it counting down.

One of the strange things people learn, after they break up, is that solitude isn't free parking either.  There may be relationships where you have to run away, as fast as your little legs will take you, but most people, when they find "freedom," end up rediscovering what they should have been doing in their last relationship.

Whether you're single or committed, it's the same challenge: You've got to find ways to make your relationships better.  The typical assumption is that this involves getting the other person to change, to be "better."  But you can't change anybody but yourself.

If you want to be happy, make happiness yourself - whether you're in or out, committed or not.  When you pursue happiness, happiness will pursue you.

Sep 18, 2011 -- 11:55PM, FriendofDaishonin wrote:

I am 32 and am still single.  I haven't had a girlfriend in about 3 years.  I am thankful because despite being above average in looks I would only date women I wasn't attracted to.  I was told by tons of women how cute they thought I was, but I would reject the ones I wanted and roll out the red carpet for the ones I didn't.  It got so bad I went to the Psychiatrist, I also had denounced Christianity because people would simply say "just turn it over to God" and all of these so called "friends" of mine couldn't relate to this kind of problem.  They rejected me seeking a dating coach.  To make a long story short, now I am willing to chant(namu-myoho-renge-kyo) for a girlfriend and I am convinced that that will work.  I chanted to eliminate my approach anxiety(chanted for about 12 hours) and started to become a pick up artist.  I didn't feel right about this although I was getting numbers left and right from women I thought were beautiful.  Still didn't connect with them for longer than about 5 minutes.  From time to time I will connect with a beautiful woman and I know it is from all of this chanting.  I have been engaged 3 times, but there again it was women I wasn't attracted to persay.  My plan is to drop to six percent body fat, get my debts paid off, be able to approach any woman(already bypassed this, now it is easy), and also chant for a woman I really want.  The lowest body fat I have been at was 10 percent, and guys, if you are single, this is the single most important thing you can do for yourself to raise your value as a man in a womans eyes(as far as attraction).  Sure, cocky and funny and whatnot, but if you get built like a brick wall, even if you are in your late thirties or early forties, 18 year old women will come onto you.  Call me shallow all you want, but it is what it is.  I will chant for the "right" one(as much as I HATE that terminology because it seems so needy), I should say one it will work out with that I will want to be with.  I don't plan on being a pick up artist in the end, just getting in really good shape and chanting for a woman I want to be with, trusting my Gohonzon, trusting the Law of cause and effect. 

'AMEN...You're right on. Norm