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Switch to Forum Live View I've found my soulmate!!
4 years ago  ::  Mar 01, 2010 - 10:44PM #1
Viviana
Posts: 2

Hi, I'm not sure if should write about my problem over here but I really need some direction or some answer... I bought an auto hypnosis mp3 for Love and Relationships on like september and constantly used it for two months and a half, I really focused in meeting my soulmate and truly believe it.. so in November I happen to travel for a weekend to NY city and I met this guy who casually arrived the same day and left the same day but he's from Italy.. so yeah we spent the whole weekend together, it was wonderful but and the end he told me, he had a kid and lived with him and the mother.. I was very sad but we kept the comunication every day by emails, we get to know better and hes not only beautiful but exactly my type and he felt the same way about me, always said Im perfect for him, that im the woman of his dreams, we were so intimate like we've known each other since forever...  we also could guess each other thoughts!! so obviouly I falled in love easily since he was giving me all signs that he was very into me too, he would do just anything to call me, write me and get on the webcam every single day... but when I finally put him to choose, hes like I dont want to promess anything lets see how this goes.... So I left him, cause I dont want to play the part of the lover and he hasn't done any big effort to get me back... And I'm suffering so much, how could this be? How is he's my soulmate let me go just like that? All the effort to finally meet him, all for nothing? What's left when the most wonderful love experience that I could wish for has failed for me?

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4 years ago  ::  Mar 01, 2010 - 11:09PM #2
Wendyness
Posts: 3,012

Sorry for your pain, bottom line, he's not your soul mate.  

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4 years ago  ::  Mar 02, 2010 - 9:28AM #3
Cesmom
Posts: 4,638

Agree with Wendy...he's definitely not your soulmate.  Sounds like he was using you.  There's one out there...they can be hard to find...usually you find them as soon as you stop looking.

Our need to learn should always outweigh our need to be right

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.
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4 years ago  ::  Mar 02, 2010 - 9:37AM #4
IreneAdler
Posts: 2,849

What's left when the most wonderful love experience that I could wish for has failed for me?


 


Well, if what you describe above is the “most wonderful love experience,” then you have a great deal to look forward to.  Primarily someone who genuinely loves you, who won’t play deceitful games, and wants to build a life together – with you. And they are willing to invest the time to do this.  


Might want to guard your heart more closely next time.  And be very selective to whom you give it to.  


And take your time doing so. There’s no rush. IF it’s a genuine relationship, it takes time to build properly- just like a house.


 


Irene.

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4 years ago  ::  Mar 02, 2010 - 4:42PM #5
Hatman
Posts: 9,634

Viviana-


What they said.


In addition, your taking of the self-hypnosis course probably helped set you up to fail, because when this guy came along, you were pre-programmed to be looking for a "soulmate"(which i don't believe to exist in reality; lasting relationships are WORK, not magic).


i, too, am sorry for your heartbreak and pain.   That said, i think that you need to take an honest look at how you contributed to both, learn the lesson(s), and proceed more cautiously in future; there's a lot of truth to the old saying "Once burned, twice shy."


Warmest regards-


Hatman

"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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4 years ago  ::  Mar 02, 2010 - 9:51PM #6
Viviana
Posts: 2

Thank you all for taking the time to write me, I really appreciate it, you all make me see it in a rational way.. If he really wanted to be with me, He'll be here right now.. not just I hope some day or let's see how this goes as he said.... But believe me he fooled me really well..always said that never met someone like me, the first thing in the morning I used to receive always a text from him and it will continue all day long, he would beg me not go to university at night cause was when he could get on skype and he called me at any free moment cause we always had something to talk about and specially to laugh about, we literally spent long long hours on the phone... thats why I really dont understand and why Im frustrated.. but whatever.. its been three weeks since I ended the relation but the only thing he says is that he respect my desicion and that he cant stop thinking about me but for now he will stay in the actual relation that he has (which is the mother of the kid, but they're not married )even if is not what he wants.. I feel so stupid, I guess he was lying all the time plus me being an idiot and blind... thats the only explanation

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4 years ago  ::  Mar 03, 2010 - 8:12AM #7
IreneAdler
Posts: 2,849

Viviana- Please don’t get down on yourself (talking about the “me being an idiot” stuff).


 Chalk this one up to experience.  Next player that comes along (the guy that sounds too perfect), you’ll see between the sweet-sounding words and know how to act to protect your heart.  Let the next man prove to you he's worth your heart. Actions, not simply words.


 And, you’ll also recognize the “real deal” even though he may be the fellow who comes across a bit awkward with his words, but sincerely cares about you.  He'll show you. 


 Now, soon as you can, treat yourself to something special.  Book some spa time or plan something  fun with friends, or take that day off from work and be frivolous for an afternoon.  Be extra kind to yourself - ‘kay?


 


Irene.

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4 years ago  ::  Mar 03, 2010 - 11:01AM #8
Erey
Posts: 18,569

I agree with Hatman that your intense focusing on drawing your soul mate to you made this man appear to be the one.


You know the saying to a hammer everything looks like a nail.  To a woman on a mission to find her soul mate everything looks like a soul mate.


 


I don't like that this guy AFTER you had this wonderful time and feel in love shared that he had a child and lived with the child's mother.   This mother might be under the impression that SHE is his soul mate. 


 


My advice is to trust in the process, most people fall in love and get married (at some point anyway).  There is probably nothing particularly unusual about you that would prevent you from doing the same.


I would take time regularly ( a few times a week) to be available to meet people.  If you are single you probably have more time to go out anyway.  Focus on going places where there is good husband material - quality men.  TAke time to make yourself feel attractive.  Once you are out and about don't be so serious.  Make it about having fun and getting to know people.  Don't be too much on a mission to find a husband.  Just tell yourself that before you know it you will be married and probably starting a family and you won't have any time for doing these fun social things.  This is a special time in your life that will not repeat itself so enjoy being young, single and attractive. 


When you do meet someone you might like to date be reserved, don't rush to fall in love.  Ask questions - have you ever been married, have you been involved with anyone lately.  Try to uncover if they are 1. in a relationship or 2. so new to being single you are dealing with a rebound situation.  Never again allow yourself to be told at the end of a wild and fun weekend that the guy is a father and involved with the mother of his child. 


Have fun, enjoy yourself but be safe and protect your heart

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4 years ago  ::  Mar 03, 2010 - 5:29PM #9
appy20
Posts: 10,165

That law of attraction mess does not work.   I don't exactly believe in soulmates but I have seen a few relationships where they adored each other for a long time without too much agonizing work.  However, you can't create that.  A lot of that is just luck.  With a little bit of work. Too much work and the relationship isn't worth it.


You can't will a soulmate.  I doubt they exist in the way you think.

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