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Switch to Forum Live View Are there any successful relationships/marriages?
5 years ago  ::  Feb 11, 2010 - 12:05PM #1
tattwo
Posts: 286

I'm just curious because all I hear about is infidelity and other crippling issues in relationships and it's kind of discouraging. I know people only post in this section of bnet because of problems, but offline I hear and see the same issues and have experienced some of those things too. People tell me that a good man is hard to find and I believe that. However, you have kissed so many frogs thinking that they'll into princes, but in up turning into a pile of shit, that when you finally met the right person that you're so battered mentally and emotionally that you will end up passing him by.

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5 years ago  ::  Feb 11, 2010 - 12:16PM #2
Scott
Posts: 88

My wife and I are enjoying a sublimely wonderful love relationship for the last nine years.  But it hasn't always been so.  It took us a good 16 years to get to the point where we were mature enough to truly love each other, with everything that means: trust, respect, support, patience, etc. 


I know I'm truly blessed having such a wonderful partner!  But you don't "find" a wonderful partner, you become one while you help your partner also become one.

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5 years ago  ::  Feb 11, 2010 - 1:23PM #3
SatanicStalker
Posts: 719

Feb 11, 2010 -- 12:16PM, Scott wrote:

I know I'm truly blessed having such a wonderful partner!  But you don't "find" a wonderful partner, you become one while you help your partner also become one.



This is wonderful advice, thank you.


~Stalker

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5 years ago  ::  Feb 11, 2010 - 2:55PM #4
ArnieBeeGut
Posts: 1,407

Feb 11, 2010 -- 12:05PM, tattwo wrote:


...you have kissed so many frogs thinking that they'll into princes, but in up turning into a pile of shit, that when you finally met the right person that you're so battered mentally and emotionally that you will end up passing him by.



Your last relationship seemed so good at first, and the pain of its ending as it did is now causing you to feel that you may never find the kind of relationship you desire. And part of you is still holding out some hope of finding the right one.

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5 years ago  ::  Feb 11, 2010 - 9:11PM #5
Anesis
Posts: 1,543

I think you can find a wonderful partner to start with. I have dated some really wonderful men and I have dated some really awful men. I have dated some who have started out amazing and turned out to be downright mean. Psych studies show that the more alike two people are - with deeper things like values and faith, traits, etc - the more marital satisfaction they will have. Unfortunately, when we are looking for a partner, we tend to be attracted to those who are not so good for us - women marry men who resemble their fathers, and that sort of thing. People marry those they are attracted to, not necessarily someone who is good for them. Be sure it's "easy" to love the person you are with. If it is not easy, it spells a challenging marriage.

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5 years ago  ::  Feb 11, 2010 - 9:35PM #6
Erey
Posts: 19,371

There are many sucessfull relationships.  I have been married for about 15 years- happily.  Both my and my husband's parents were married until our father's died. 


I think if a sucessfull relationship is what you are looking for then you need to seek out people who have accomplished that.


 


I don't know much about your situation but every relationship is going to not work out until you find that person you are supposed to be with.  So you do have to kiss frogs.   But I would say if you are getting older in your dating life then it is probably time to start being much more particular.  Be open to meeting people but be prepared to cut your losses quickly. 

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5 years ago  ::  Feb 11, 2010 - 9:40PM #7
Estime
Posts: 367

Feb 11, 2010 -- 12:16PM, Scott wrote:


My wife and I are enjoying a sublimely wonderful love relationship for the last nine years.  But it hasn't always been so.  It took us a good 16 years to get to the point where we were mature enough to truly love each other, with everything that means: trust, respect, support, patience, etc. 


I know I'm truly blessed having such a wonderful partner!  But you don't "find" a wonderful partner, you become one while you help your partner also become one.





Couldn't have said it better myself.


(This will be our 34th year.)

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5 years ago  ::  Feb 11, 2010 - 9:51PM #8
Callielou
Posts: 31,462

Opposites attract but not a good recipe for marriage. I believe for a long and happy marriage you need to be fundamentally similar in your beliefs, likes, dislikes and interest. In other words, make sure this person is a good friend and someone you enjoy being with and able to enjoy the same little pleasures of life. I have been married for over 43 years and it is still working.


A sense of humor goes a long way!

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5 years ago  ::  Feb 11, 2010 - 11:06PM #9
Hatman
Posts: 9,634

"Me and my wife have had 8 happy years together---been married for fourteen."


There's one of yer "sense of humor" things, CallieLou.  *grin*


Warmest regards-


Hatman

"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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5 years ago  ::  Feb 11, 2010 - 11:12PM #10
Estime
Posts: 367

Feb 11, 2010 -- 11:06PM, Hatman wrote:


"Me and my wife have had 8 happy years together---been married for fourteen."


There's one of yer "sense of humor" things, CallieLou.  *grin*


Warmest regards-


Hatman





Way too much truth in that! LOL.

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