Post Reply
Page 2 of 5  •  Prev 1 2 3 4 5 Next
Switch to Forum Live View Are men turned off by independent women?
4 years ago  ::  Jan 28, 2010 - 6:36PM #11
Sunshyne212
Posts: 2

lil_lamb posted his comment on women who are independant, and they should let the partner do for them.  I am an independant lady, who would love a partner to do for me, but these days they think we should do all for them and nothing in return. We as independant women, do for our partner's, when we do have one, and they take it for granted.  You ask for a Quarter and they give you a penny. We feel if we have to go down that road, then we might as well do it for and by ourselves. Not that we are trying to be more than you, belittling you, or wearing the pants in any way. It's just a nice feeling to know that we are capable if something would arise where you're not able to provide. I feel, if married or roommating, it should be 50/50.  If it's just the so called boyfriend, and he comes over every now and then, cook and eat your food up, watch his games, and lay back, then he should come to door sometimes with food, and a few dollars and "Say, here Baby, this isn't much, but it's a little something to help you.  Whether you need it or not..it's the thought. Nine times out of ten, we spend it right back on you anyway. So, if men want to be turned off by that, then so be it.

Quick Reply
Cancel
4 years ago  ::  Jan 28, 2010 - 7:09PM #12
Whoolahoop
Posts: 9

Maybe it's because I'm older, but what I find attractive is a woman who can respond emotionally.  I am 100% the Pisces male.  I thrive as a dreamer, so I'm philosophical and seek the deeper mystery that is life and humanity.  So it feels better to find comfort in acknowledging where I might be weak so I can rejoice in where someone else is strong.  There's a great sense of equality in a perspective like that.  So if there's no room for my vulnerabilities in her life, there won't be room for my strengths either.  I would rather be poor in equality than competitive in wealth.


 

Quick Reply
Cancel
4 years ago  ::  Jan 28, 2010 - 9:57PM #13
Erey
Posts: 18,378

My husband and quite a number of the men I know prefer independance in a woman.  A woman that does not need a man to do everything with her and does not expect to conform her life completely to his. 


 


Sometimes I wonder if we may have become too independant.

Quick Reply
Cancel
4 years ago  ::  Jan 28, 2010 - 11:16PM #14
Hatman
Posts: 9,634
Tattwo-
Yep.
While a woman most certainly CAN dance by herself and hold her own hand---even kiss herself, with some practice and determination---it's rarely as much fun!

Sunshyne-
Just FYI---lil_lamb is not male.

Erey-
Good observation.

Warmest regards-

Hatman







1
"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
Quick Reply
Cancel
4 years ago  ::  Jan 29, 2010 - 12:05AM #15
lil_lamb
Posts: 2,898

Jan 28, 2010 -- 6:36PM, Sunshyne212 wrote:


lil_lamb posted his comment on women who are independant, and they should let the partner do for them.  I am an independant lady, who would love a partner to do for me, but these days they think we should do all for them and nothing in return. We as independant women, do for our partner's, when we do have one, and they take it for granted.  You ask for a Quarter and they give you a penny. We feel if we have to go down that road, then we might as well do it for and by ourselves. Not that we are trying to be more than you, belittling you, or wearing the pants in any way. It's just a nice feeling to know that we are capable if something would arise where you're not able to provide. I feel, if married or roommating, it should be 50/50.  If it's just the so called boyfriend, and he comes over every now and then, cook and eat your food up, watch his games, and lay back, then he should come to door sometimes with food, and a few dollars and "Say, here Baby, this isn't much, but it's a little something to help you.  Whether you need it or not..it's the thought. Nine times out of ten, we spend it right back on you anyway. So, if men want to be turned off by that, then so be it.




yes, i'm female.


got to tell you, the sort of man you're describing - that sounds like a ghetto rat. ghetto rats go so far as to expect bling, but that's a whole different can of worms.


btw, my mother always advised me to stay away from guys who call you "baby" - i don't know, i think she was right.

Quick Reply
Cancel
4 years ago  ::  Jan 29, 2010 - 12:11AM #16
Sistah1
Posts: 47

A lot of independent women are that because they do not have a partner. When the roof is leaking, they have to deal with it by either fixing it themselves or hiring someone to do it. So, there is no partner to do for her. Then, when a guy meets her, he's intimidated when she really would make room for him in her life if he were interested .... and not just because the roof is leaking. LOL.


Jan 26, 2010 -- 3:42AM, lil_lamb wrote:


i think the problem with "the independent woman" is that it often does mean a woman with no room in her life. the boasting is often a declaration of hostility. it may not be what the woman wants to communicate, but it's what she does in fact say. going dutch isn't a pooling of resources. partners do for each other, and you have to let your partner do for you, or you ain't got no partner.





Quick Reply
Cancel
4 years ago  ::  Jan 29, 2010 - 12:27AM #17
tattwo
Posts: 286

Jan 28, 2010 -- 6:36PM, Sunshyne212 wrote:


lil_lamb posted his comment on women who are independant, and they should let the partner do for them.  I am an independant lady, who would love a partner to do for me, but these days they think we should do all for them and nothing in return. We as independant women, do for our partner's, when we do have one, and they take it for granted.  You ask for a Quarter and they give you a penny. We feel if we have to go down that road, then we might as well do it for and by ourselves. Not that we are trying to be more than you, belittling you, or wearing the pants in any way. It's just a nice feeling to know that we are capable if something would arise where you're not able to provide. I feel, if married or roommating, it should be 50/50.  If it's just the so called boyfriend, and he comes over every now and then, cook and eat your food up, watch his games, and lay back, then he should come to door sometimes with food, and a few dollars and "Say, here Baby, this isn't much, but it's a little something to help you.  Whether you need it or not..it's the thought. Nine times out of ten, we spend it right back on you anyway. So, if men want to be turned off by that, then so be it.




 


AMEN!!! We are not trying to take a man's place. When you've lived by yourself for a longtime, you get accustomed to doing everything on your on. So sometimes its hard to let somebody help us out every now and again...well atleast for me. I like to feel safe and secure with a man especially if he really cares about me. I let him know, look I'm not going to be in your pocket all the time, but that doesn't mean I dont need help. Trust  I got plenty of things around my house that he can do. LOL!!!! Honestly, I love when men do things for me such as open/hold doors open, hold an elevator, kill bugs, oh and I looooooooove a handy man. I'll pass over a doctor and a lawyer to get to a handy man. LOL!!! I just love a hard working man. That's an epitome of sexiness to me!!!


Anyway, I think that we need to start being more honest with ourselves and others. Then, we wouldn't have all these issues.

Quick Reply
Cancel
4 years ago  ::  Jan 29, 2010 - 12:30AM #18
tattwo
Posts: 286

Jan 29, 2010 -- 12:05AM, lil_lamb wrote:


 


btw, my mother always advised me to stay away from guys who call you "baby" - i don't know, i think she was right.




Why did she tell you to stay away from guys that call you baby? What about boo?

Quick Reply
Cancel
4 years ago  ::  Jan 29, 2010 - 7:15AM #19
Elijahwagon
Posts: 2

I am married to the most independent woman in the world. Not newly wed, but going on 37 years worth. The best remedy is love them more, accept their independence, and help them continue to achieve their goals.

Quick Reply
Cancel
4 years ago  ::  Jan 29, 2010 - 8:35AM #20
DaoDuck
Posts: 86

I absolutely LOVE my independent woman. I think that  because she is independent, she has much more to offer her partner.

Quick Reply
Cancel
Page 2 of 5  •  Prev 1 2 3 4 5 Next
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook