|5 years ago :: Feb 17, 2010 - 4:27PM #31|
I agree. I was in an abusive relationship, and I worked with several women who experienced abuse so serious they had to basically go into hiding in protected housing while they rebuilt their lives.
In my situation, I began the relationship when I was in a very bad mental state and couldn't recognize the warning signs. I thought that everything that was wrong was my fault because I was the one who was "messed up". Unfortunately, this wasn't the problem, and it crept up on me over two years until I was completely emotionally dependent on him. When he had gotten everything he wanted from me, we broke up. I'm very glad that we broke up, because I wasted enough time on him and on repairing myself mentally afterwards.
The problem is that people who have tendencies to be abusive, whether it be nature or nurture, can often recognize another person's capacity to be abused. It doesn't mean that it is premeditated necessarily, but these types of people tend to fall together in a bad way.
Often people won't leave an abusive relationship until they realize that their kids know what's going on.