I'm new to this part of Bnet. So let me introduce myself. My name is Caoimhin (Kevin), my family line is Irish-Italian, I'm in my late 30's and I'm thinkin, I'm still a child when it comes to relationships. I have thousands of "potential" viewpoints here so I'll start crackin!!! October 31 of this year I went to a Halloween Party on a whim, from a friend who invited me from work. At the shindig within a few minutes or so I noticed a girl dressed like, ah, yes, an angel. We chatted through the night along with my friend. I started feeling an attraction to her. It became so irrisistable (I'm quite passive) I wanted to ask her out! I flirted like crazy, and at the end of the night my friend showed me a message on her phone. It said "If you want her number, ask, you'll get it!" (Im trying to be as truthful and detailed as possible so all can understand from their own perspectives.) I asked got it, and we started talking and texting. Through the last, almost month and half, it's been pretty cool. I"m afraid though that after such a short time I've become quite emotionally invested. She has alot of guy friends, and I've met a couple of them. They're what you'd call interesting. One displays somewhat autistic tendencies, the others a DJ, and I dont think I've met the rest. Well, she has an ex, and apparently, (I met him at a bar, and we talked) they were "together" the night before we met. Well, no big deal. Now, I'm in the middle of a verbal war, which involves, my girlfriend, her ex (the one I met), and my friend that invited me to the Halloween party. Her ex warned she plays games, my friend from work is now worried for me that I'm gonna get hurt, and I'm topsy turvey!!!! I can never get into a relationship where things are just OK at a minimum. On top of that now my girl says she got in a big fight with her ex at a bar where he was talking bleep about me, and she tells me she left and hung out with a guy friend who did drugs in front of her while she cried. You see on top of that pile, we have OPPOSITE SCHEDULES. I work 5am to 2pm, she works 2pm to 11pm. We see each other Wed. night for a few  hours, and Saturday, after work we hang out, sometimes I stay over, and usually Sunday afternoon. On top of that, yesterday I had bells going off. After her emotional email saying I was her best friend...etc. I thought we were getting closer. Anyway yesterday, I had already talked to her about a movie Saturday, and my friend and a girl he met was going. I texted her and asked if she wanted me to swing by, she texted back no, I've never heard of that movie have fun. OK, so I go, as the third wheel in my book, then another text, I'm going to blank mall, thats exactally where we were going!!! Anyway, after the movie, I texted her since she was in the area why not come to dinner. She did, it was awkward. Afterwards I went to give her a kiss and she gave me the cheek. I should, as a final conclusion say, and she did tell me, she was with her friend Chris (another guy) who apparently worked on her car, and then they had dinner and went to the mall,(they drove seperate) then she came and had dinner with me. I don't know how to feel or think right now, I don't want to overreact, I don't want to underreact. I know any advice I get will be limited, and of course no one can know the whole situation from just a thread, I just thought I'd drop this one on the lap of my "spiritual friends" here at Bnet. Shalom!

Dec 13, 2009 -- 9:49AM, REteach wrote:

I get the impression she is having fun and you are looking for serious.  I think that may be what your friend meant when he said she would give you her number.  Some good-timers do find Mr. Right and settle down. However, I don't get the impression she is moving in that direction. 

Sometimes friendships are like warm butter.  If you hold them too tightly, they'll squish right between your fingers.  IMO, if you want to continue the friendship, you need to be content merely to be a friend for a significant period of time.

Exactlly, and in my mind, I don't have time for games. I've asked G-d to guide me, maybe I've taken over, and he's thinking, you're on your own!I feel I haven't acted in harmony with his will, and I may be reaping the whilwind! Thanks.

Holy Mary, Martha, and Joseph (respectful outcry) Thank you, this has turned out soooo much better then expected, and I've only recieved two replys! G-d bless, and keep em comin!

I seem to find the "unique" girls. I mean some girls like the one I'm seeing just don't relate that well to other women, and typically they have alot of guy friends. The majority of those friends are platonic. But, it's like my uncle commented, not many guys hang out with girls without at least wishing, or hoping (secretly) for something more if the situation ever presented itself. I tend to agree with him. He also told me to, as it has been said here, take it slowly, steadily. So, I appreciate everyone here for letting me wear my "heart on my sleeve", and give me such positive feedback, it's a wonderful testament to our common humanity.