Post Reply
Page 2 of 10  •  Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 10 Next
Switch to Forum Live View Advice on how to you forgive your husband for cheating
5 years ago  ::  Jul 11, 2009 - 9:08AM #11
lulu2
Posts: 454

Your husband is lacking love of self. It seems he is looking for that love elsewhere. Self fulfilment only can come from our connection to our Highest Self, and that will never be fulfilled by anyone outside of ourselves.


His denial of his own child, spoke volumes.  You may have been married for a long time, but the key to marriage is a truthful and honest commitment, to the person you married. It seems he is unable to commit to anything but his immediate desires, hence his denial of his son. To deny that part of himself, for immediate gain, shows his lack of truthfulness and responsiblity to everyone involved.


His lack should be seen as his alone. When you know someone has a problem, or a lack of themselves, you also learn, that you are not responsible for his lack of commitment to his vows. You can forgive someone who has a disease, you too can forgive him for his lack of self worth. 


I dont believe a simple forgiveness on your part, will make this man something, that he is now, not. Seek peace by understanding that a good marriage needs love and commitment to  self and the other. Not selfishness, which is what he sees as his priority.

Without the Soul of Christ alive in us...we are nothing but empty shells...
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jul 11, 2009 - 1:03PM #12
Joshp890
Posts: 3

im a 15 year old male. im young so it probably dont matter what i say. but im gonna say it anyway.


i would strait up kick his a**. thats wrong. cheating, lying, denying his son. my father did the same thing, and my mom stayed with him. screwed up my life. and i hated my mom for it. if he has done it once, he'll do it again. leave him, if he wants to be with her, let him. because you can find someone way better. just like my mom did.


the only reason i can give you advice is cuz ive been through it. im sure i was just like you child. and i grew up hating my dad for doing it and hating my mom for letting it happen.....


hope im a little help....very sorry about your situation.


josh

Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jul 11, 2009 - 6:51PM #13
Bbnid
Posts: 3

Thank you everyone for the advice. I have thought about it for a while now and I am getting the divorce papers done up on Monday. I know that he is still lying to me and about simple things. I even had proof that he called the girl last night while I was at work. He still striaght out lied. He said it was one of the brothers from the church's cell but that same number was on the girls profile and he told me show me the proof and I did and he still tried to say it wasn't her. I really appriciate Josh's commet even through you are young you had it happen to you and I can really see your point of view. I know my other two kids aren't very happy with their dad because he did the same thing to them and they are only 8 and 6 so I don't want my youngest to have the same feelings.

Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jul 11, 2009 - 7:04PM #14
DotNotInOz
Posts: 6,833

I hope that this decision will be the beginning of your way to a great new life for you and your kids.


Please also get some counseling. I really can't stress more how important I believe that to be when this is your second marriage. I'm still amazed at how much it helped me.


If you can't afford a regular mental health professional's rates, check your county listings for the social services office nearest you. In some states, it offers individual and family counseling with fees set according to your income. It's much less expensive than most private practice counseling. 

Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jul 11, 2009 - 7:18PM #15
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277

Jul 11, 2009 -- 1:03PM, Joshp890 wrote:


im a 15 year old male. im young so it probably dont matter what i say. but im gonna say it anyway.


i would strait up kick his a**. thats wrong. cheating, lying, denying his son. my father did the same thing, and my mom stayed with him. screwed up my life. and i hated my mom for it. if he has done it once, he'll do it again. leave him, if he wants to be with her, let him. because you can find someone way better. just like my mom did.


the only reason i can give you advice is cuz ive been through it. im sure i was just like you child. and i grew up hating my dad for doing it and hating my mom for letting it happen.....


hope im a little help....very sorry about your situation.


josh




Josh... if you grew up with this kind of mess then there is no one here better qualified to give advice.
I'm sorry you had to grow up this way.  But you sound like you learned what NOT to do when you grow up and have kids of your own.

James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jul 12, 2009 - 2:21PM #16
Joshp890
Posts: 3

i know exactly what not to do.... i would never put anyone through that..... and im glad you are taking yourself out of that position because your making the right decision for you and your kids...........   =] keep positive....


peace,


josh

Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jul 12, 2009 - 2:31PM #17
Angelwalken31
Posts: 2

Babygirl, I will tell you somthing that not every body has mentioned in this whole situation and that is the truth....In these types of situations where the husband has done you like he has.God allows for separation. This is the only sin that this will be allowed for. you can stay separated for as long as you need to decide on what you want to do. wich he may have to leave, but he needs to give you your space.. if you decide to move on without him you can't look back and if he won't give you your time to separate then you can never heal ... this is what I am dealing with. my husband cheated a lot after we got married. Now it has come back to hit him in the face cause the one person that he was going and telling about how he cheted on me to Is now his compatition and this was done when he walked out on me and left me to go live with a girl for 4 months then tried to come back . The deciosion was already made cause i looked at my kids. You don't stay for your kids. You get away foryour kids cause there are things that are called HIV and AIDS that will take them away from you. Still to this day he don't want me to have my separtion time and we gothru the same thing and like I always tell him the papers are in the mail and my bags are packed!!!! I promise you if the roles were turned he would be like a dog after because of competition. he becomes the mat that you walk on when he did you like that....Put your kids first, get what you need , send the divorce papers, and be on your way down the road in your brand new SUV....thats right get everything brand new! cause you will have the kids and they need the best.

Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jul 12, 2009 - 2:45PM #18
Siribi
Posts: 205

Good for you! try to stay with the resolutions/decisions you make or you'll be back and forth still running in vicious circles.


Everyone's 'mess' is different but the feelings it leaves you with are not constructive, actually they but fuel distrust for people in general and it's difficult to overcome that distrust but necessary.


I agree with the poster telling you to get counseling, its important to learn why we end up with different people but in the same situation.  Like the woman who ends up with one bar fly or alcoholic after another, so some end up with one immature and selfish man after another. The choices and resolutions we make are very important, but first we must know ourselves and the reasons that compel us to choose the same scenario over and again.

"We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jul 12, 2009 - 5:57PM #19
andrewcyrus
Posts: 4,253

How to forgive?


 


There are two sides to every story two sides to every trespass.


Mat 6v14


For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:


 15


But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.


Find out what your part is in the whole affair and focus on cleaning that up.


 


If you truly love your husband and he loves you then those positives will briong about the healing.


 


Playing detective here over his 'cheating",  will do more damage than good.  Detect what it is that you need to do forgive him.


 


I know easier said than done. God's grace is something that is given out from God.. Pray daily to do what is right in his eyes..


 


 


 


 


 

Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jul 12, 2009 - 6:00PM #20
andrewcyrus
Posts: 4,253

Lesson here


If you want a lynch mobs approval leave out the reasoning just go for the neck.


 


 

Quick Reply
Cancel
Page 2 of 10  •  Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 10 Next
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook