Important Announcement

See here for an important message regarding the community which has become a read-only site as of October 31.

 
Post Reply
Page 4 of 4  •  Prev 1 2 3 4
Switch to Forum Live View 3 Years Happily Re-Married!
8 years ago  ::  Jun 28, 2009 - 8:53PM #31
ArnieBeeGut
Posts: 1,407

Tamardaughterofdavid,


Thank you - and welcome to Beliefnet! There are some terrific members here - and this forum in particular ls full of supportive and caring people who share their struggles and support each other. I look forward to your participation and hearing more about what is going on for you!


Blessings,


ArnieBeeGut
Beliefnet Community Host
Divorce & Separation

Quick Reply
Cancel
8 years ago  ::  Jul 01, 2009 - 5:39AM #32
redsouth
Posts: 2

It is uplifting to hear that other people have found happiness with a new life, a new spouse.  I am praying for that to happen to me.  I am in my second marriage and spent most of the years trying to do all the right things to save it.  Been married 19 years, been together for 24 years.  I am married to a work-a-holic whom I never know if he is having an affair or not.  He comes and goes as he pleases, little or no communication from him.  Often hides things from me.  I spent years living by example, praying, forgiving, turning the other cheek, etc. and have nothing left emotionally.  Five years ago thought of suicide because of this trapped life.  Asked God to let me die.  Have had trouble with our kids for years with discipline and my husband allows them to do whatever they want.  He takes their side when they rebel and laughs at me and mocks me.  My son got in trouble legally and both husband and son has treated me horrible for so long.  I've been to many counselors by myself for years.  They all say get a job and get a divorce, this is way too unhealthy, it's emotional abuse.  My problem is, I can't find a full-time permanent job to support me and my mom who lives with us and recovering from cancer.  I feel I've been stuck for years in this dysfunction.  Have health problems due to stress and depression.  Tried many medications with no success, herbal supplements work better.  Thank God my prodigal son has changed, apologized to me and showing his old sweet self.  My husband still lives in a fake, denial, dysfunctional state.  I can't stand the sight of him.  I try to forgive, but it will be easier to forgive when I can afford to move on.  We've lived in separate rooms for years.  I question God a lot.  Trying to live for God, rely on Him for happiness, etc. but it is hard.  Praying for miracles.  Glad to hear others moving forward.

Quick Reply
Cancel
8 years ago  ::  Jul 04, 2009 - 1:46PM #33
Lbrc13@yahoo.com
Posts: 3

You all have given me some hope that there is a light at the end of this seemingly endless tunnel. My husband of 25 years and the father of my four daughters left me 1 1/2 years ago for another woman. Our marriage had not been great, so I do not miss him, but I was always a stay at home mother..working little part time jobs at night. I have no skills so I am working at the first full time job I could get,..I had to sell my car to pay the bills that were piling up. I walk one hour to and from work but at a little more than minimum wage, I haven't paid the rent in three weeks...I feel like my house is not a home to me, but mainly to my 14 year old daughter who still lives with me.


I am lost and scared and tired. I'm not looking for sympathy...it's just nice to know that other people have been here and have gotten out.


I wake up every morning worrying about my daughters, about money, about finding a better job. I try positive affirmations, I've prayed and yet still nothing.


I've spent my life tring to be nice and kind to everyone that crosses my path..and that will never change..it feels good to smile and be happy outside, but the minute I walk in here (this is the apartment my husband moved us to , saying we would work on our marriage and it was a whole new beginning and then left one month later). So there is an underlying sadness here.


Wow..I'm all over the place aren't I??


Please pray for me ..that I will find the strength someplace inside me (it sure is great at hiding) so I can be one who writes back with a happy story to give people in my position now.. hope out of complete hopelesness.


Thank you all,


Cathy

Quick Reply
Cancel
8 years ago  ::  Jul 04, 2009 - 6:43PM #34
redsouth
Posts: 2

Cathy,


Just read your post and I have already prayed for you.  I know that you WILL make it.  I watch the pastor Joel Osteen on TV every Sunday.  He is so encouraging.  You can find broadcast times in your area www.joelosteen.com.  Try to get involved in a local church where you can meet ladies who care and can help you.  There also should be some facilities in your area that can assist you in different ways.  Times are very hard right now, and supplies and funds are low, however, with God nothing is impossible.  I am praying for you to coast through these difficult times and for God to give you strength in this time of need.  You have to be strong for your girls.  May God guide you, protect you and Bless you beyond belief.  Don't give up!


 


Praying for you,


Michele


Redsouth


  


Exodus 31:3


Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.  The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.


 Duet. 31:6, 8


(6) "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."


(8) The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.


2 Chron. 16:9


The Lord is constantly watching everyone, and He gives strength to those who faithfully obey Him.


Psalm 18:32


It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.

Quick Reply
Cancel
8 years ago  ::  Jul 05, 2009 - 12:29AM #35
Lbrc13@yahoo.com
Posts: 3

Thank you for your kind words. I also found a prayer when I came home from work tonight as I was wondering around the site and I will read it every day.


Father God, Today I am afraid. I look around me at this world that is changing so fast and I feel lost like a small boat in the midst of a storm. I am not built to weather the battering waves or the howling wind. So I wait now in your presence. You spoke the oceans and the four winds into being. You threw the stars in the sky and separated the sea from dry land. You took the hand of Peter who was sinking into the depths of the water and walked him to safety. I choose now to fix my eyes on you and not on the storm. I settle my heart on your love and not on the current that threatens to pull me under. Thank you that you are my firm anchor even through the darkest night, Amen


Source: Written by Sheila Walsh author of "Let Go"


 Isn't that beautiful??

Quick Reply
Cancel
8 years ago  ::  Jul 08, 2009 - 5:45AM #36
Dale1952
Posts: 4

I lost my wonderful wife of 22 years just a short 3 years ago, feels like yesterday. I wish that I would have lost her in a divorce, then I could complain and moan but there is nothing, I feel so helpless, so alone, lost.

Quick Reply
Cancel
8 years ago  ::  Jul 16, 2009 - 10:31AM #37
Kim74462
Posts: 2

Hi my name is kim. i was widowed at age 32, remarried 15 months later. I was married for 16 yrs to my ex. we were pastors for 8 yrs. He left me 3months ago for my best friend who also is married. She is still married, her husband refuses to see what is right in front of his face. But, you know what? im thinking positive i believe in love at first right, i believe in forever type of love.. Im not giving up. I know that God has someone special out there for me, and Im already looking for him. Praise be to God. He is awesome and loves us, wants only the best for us. kim

Quick Reply
Cancel
8 years ago  ::  Jul 16, 2009 - 9:03PM #38
ArnieBeeGut
Posts: 1,407

Welcome to the new members here! I am sorry for the pain you are experiencing, and hope that you find this forum a source of comfort.

Cathy and Kim, I am so sorry about the choices your husbands made. We cannot make others' decisions for them, only our own. Especially in today's economy, it is completely natural to have financial concerns, especially where there are children involved.

Dale, I am sorry for your loss. It is understandable to have deep sadness that refuses to go away with such a deep loss. There is no timetable on grieving something so difficult and painful, and I do pray that it can eventually bring you to a place of peace and acceptance. That cannot be rushed of course, and until then perhaps it is necessary to feel the pain.

Blessings,
Arnie

Quick Reply
Cancel
8 years ago  ::  Dec 13, 2009 - 10:53AM #39
Stardove
Posts: 17,597

Jul 8, 2009 -- 5:45AM, Dale1952 wrote:


I lost my wonderful wife of 22 years just a short 3 years ago, feels like yesterday. I wish that I would have lost her in a divorce, then I could complain and moan but there is nothing, I feel so helpless, so alone, lost.



I've never experienced a divorce.  TYG.


Dale,


I do believe time is our greatest healer.  Moving on with our lives when widowed shows our love for the person who has gone on before us.  IMO. 


I was widowed at 28 while expecting my third child who was born on what would have been our 11th anniversary.  I did remarry, which was something I didn't think I would do.  Over 31 years later we have fourth child and three sons-in-laws.  Only the oldest daughter (42) can remember her bio father.  Currently my profile picture is my new grand-son whose mom (# 3) was born after her bio dad's death.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The circle of life continues.  It is up to us to choose to enjoy life.....or not.  Innocent

Beliefnet Community Wide Moderator ~ Peace Love Stardove


People change for two main reasons: either their minds have been opened or their hearts have been broken.
---Anonymous

Quick Reply
Cancel
Page 4 of 4  •  Prev 1 2 3 4
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook