I was married 32 years to an abusive man but he was the one who found someone else because I became ill and moved on his way.  The living alone scares me but I won't be alone because Jesus is with me.  I don't know how my life will end up but I hope to find a good christian man and finish my life with him.  May God bless all who read this.

Cathy

May 2, 2009 -- 3:33PM, Nicojean wrote:

Hi! Thanks for the post, and letting us know there is "life after divorce". I am on the other side...after 12 years of marriage, and divorcing my husband, and hope to someday find my "happily ever after".

 

There is a "Happily Ever After~but there is also a thing called "Married Life":
YOU can't have one without the other!
I've learned that fact after being married for 31 years,together for 32.
married life has it's *ups and it's downs~no marriage is totally perfect all the time!!!*

If you beleive that and say that you don't fight I've got a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn!

No marriage is free from the daily/monthly stress of life,the economy,children being ill,
in-law problems,health problems,problems with your house/car etc............................!!

My husband has ADHD and I've got Epilepsy. We've both had these problems since we
were children growing up. We're both on medication. We've learned to cope.

Now my husband is like living with a 16yearold,who's got the patience of a 4yr old who has
the attention span of a gnat!! He has no patience for paying the bills~So I've undertaken
that job,along with the cooking and being social secretary for both of us.
I make sure that he has his medication.
He just has to go to work and make the money for our family~The present economic situation has gone and cut into his paycheck. He used to work from 8:00AM to 5:00PM
But his hours have been cut by 1 hour~and that was the overtime that we needed!!!

I can't work due to a accident I had 12 years ago~I fell down a flight of stairs.
I'm fine except that I still suffer from excruiting pain in my lower back from time to time
which puts me out of commission~I can't really do to much cleaning or heavy lifting.

We've had our fair share of problems over the years~But we're not quitters~we're still together while many of our friends have gone and divorced!!!
We weren't brought up to run to a divorce lawyer at the first sign of trouble~We talk things
out,compremize on things and work trough the problems that we've had.

We've had fincial problems from only having one salary coming in~credit card debt that we've
paid down/or are working on paying down.
We're a team~Yes, you heard/read right I did say a "Team"!
If you're not part of a team in a marriage that marriage will be doomed to fail
I know of a former friend who by the time I was married 15 years was married 5 times!!!

Why you ask????
The reason is that this lady never wanted to give up "control in her marriage" she wanted to
be in charge of the financial purse strings,the credit cards and she wanted to put her husband on an allowance! You can't do that to a man~They suffer from the sin of pride!
My husband and I have 3 bank accounts: A mine, & 2 joint accounts.
This works for us~I don't have to go to him all the time for money
He just tells me which joint account he's going to put his pay check into.

He may not be my "soul mate" but he is my "life's partner",as we don't beleive in divorce!

Hi Hatman~

Yes, I can see Arnie enjoying these few nice days of Spring. :)  Hope all is well with you.

Love,

C :)

Hi Hatman~

I am thrilled you are still around Bnet...you are one of those wonderful posters who often reaches out to the people in pain. THANK YOU!  I do hope your life is great and that you are living each day to the fullest.  I so appreciate you!

Love, C

PS Where is my buddy Arnie???  Is he still moderating this group?

3 Years Happily Re-Married!

This past month my husband and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary.  No big deal for MOST people, but for me I see it as HOPE to all of us who have had thier world rocked when their long-time spouse [21 years] walked away from his marriage vows, his kids and his life...all for another woman.  

Beliefnet has struggled with many changes over the years and we have lost many of the regular posters, but there are still a few of us who are kicking around and who have much to say thank you for this site.  I poured my heart out on this site and got so much uplifting support from others who had shared the pain of a broken relationship. I made such great cyber friends who reminded me that I am beautiful and deserving of true love. And, I even met my new spouse from one of those cyber friends who saw us as a perfect match. He was right, but the journey took some effort.  I needed to learn to love myself again before I could ever love anyone else.

So, I thought I would post and tell you that I am having the BEST life.  My 2 grown children adore their stepdad and there is such a thing as "Happily Ever After".  As for the x who left me for a friend of mine......he found the grass is not greener and the relationship he left his marriage for did not last.  He is alone and feels lonely.