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5 years ago  ::  Feb 23, 2009 - 10:03AM #1
DAH54
Posts: 3,318
There comes a time when we need to say Goodbye how do you say it? And hear I'm talking about saying Goodbye to the pain, the hurt, the lost, the things that could have been, the things that should have been. Often saying goodbye is NOT a one time event, but rather is a series of goodbyes that lead to a day when final goodbyes are said.

You have to work through your feelings your lost, your pain, your hurt, perhaps you are feeling empty and you're angry? One way is to write letters, were you express your anger, your pain, your sorrow and lost, pour out your heart in the letter. Now here is a little twist on the simple angry letter theme. Pull up a chair in front of you, and put your Significant Others name on it. Then read the letter out loud. Or instead of writing them on paper, write them on dishes (you can often pick up dishes cheap in a yard sale) with magic markers and then throw the dish at a wall.

Another idea is to write a letter of forgiveness.

Henry Ward Beecher]I can forgive but I cannot forget, is only one way of saying, I will not forgive.Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note - torn in two, and burned, so that it never can be shown against one.


Forgiveness is freeing the prisoner, and realizing that the prisoner was you and that you are freed from the bondage of bitterness, anger, resentment, and revenge. These feelings effect your life in negative ways! If you nourish these feelings your every move will start to revolve around your anger and bitter feelings.

I can not talk about saying goodbye to the pain and anger without talking about ways to healing. What are some ways to heal your relationship?

1) Seek professional counseling

2) Pray and or meditate together

3) Read books out loud that help in your healing wrote:

I can forgive but I cannot forget, is only one way of saying, I will not forgive.Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note - torn in two, and burned, so that it never can be shown against one.[/quote]
Forgiveness is freeing the prisoner, and realizing that the prisoner was you and that you are freed from the bondage of bitterness, anger, resentment, and revenge. These feelings effect your life in negative ways! If you nourish these feelings your every move will start to revolve around your anger and bitter feelings.

I can not talk about saying goodbye to the pain and anger without talking about ways to healing. What are some ways to heal your relationship?

1) Seek professional counseling

2) Pray and or meditate together

3) Read books out loud that help in your healing; do it with your significant other if you can, or if you prefer, read separately then reflect and share what you have learn.

4) Listen to some healing music. If you have a song you both enjoy and that reminds you of the good times, play it and sing along together.

5) Take walks together (how long has it been since you have done this?) You don't have to hold hands if you are uncomfortable, but it is best if you do.

6) Do fun stuff together! Take a quiz to find out how much you actually know about each other, and get back into each other's life.

7) Follow up on something your Significant other talked about last week, or the day before. "How are your cramps, honey?" "How is that report coming?" "Is your headache any better my love?"

8) Give your partner a compliment today. I really do love the way you think/talk/laugh/cook/clean/or whatever it is up to you.

9) Do one thing that you know your Significant other would love that you have avoided doing for your Significant other in the past. Pride and neglect do not nourish your relationship.

10) Talk Talk Talk Talk get it all out... It is said that only about 70% of all communications is verbal. Your Significant other can hear what you are trying not to say and your significant other can hear that much clearer than what you are voicing out! Your tone of voice, depth, frequency, and facial expressions say most of it!

11) Touch! When was the last time you touched your Significant Other? A caress? Touch just for the sake of touching, with no other expectations.

12 Time? When was the last time you gave your Significant other your time? Spend quality time with your Significant other

13) Take care of yourself! This is important for the other steps to matter.

14) Feeling lonely but not alone, often within a marriage we can feel empty! Spouses maybe absent, or just not emotionally there/involved/present in the relationship. You may feel that no one cares for you, that you are just completely by yourself. This may cause feeling depressed or even suicidal, if you are please seek professional help. It may help to learn a new skill or to find a long lost passion and follow it.

When to end a relationship?

With a marriage it is crucial that both parties agree that the marriage can not be saved. It is also important that none of you are still angry when you decide to call it quits. You need to think with your head to make a clear and concise decision.



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