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Switch to Forum Live View Why do you come to Relationships & Marriage
6 years ago  ::  Jun 13, 2008 - 12:27PM #1
DAH54
Posts: 3,318
What would you like to see more of in relationships & Marriage? Why do you come to this area of Beliefnet? What do you hope to gain?

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6 years ago  ::  Jun 17, 2008 - 8:24PM #2
SatanicStalker
Posts: 719
I like it the way it is for the most part, though I would like to encourage more posts that explore different opinions and options on various situations, and more theories and intellectual discussions.

If this board became only a support group, I doubt I would be able to find anything useful or interesting here, and would probably leave. Support is not enough. Thought and discussion and an exploring of options and opinions is necessary for many people and to help most problems. Besides, it keeps things interesting.

~Stalker
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 18, 2008 - 6:17AM #3
songbird3364
Posts: 1,177
I like it the way it is as well. I think limiting it , would possibly cause someone who would otherwise turn for help here to not feel they have access to advice. peace~
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 18, 2008 - 8:41AM #4
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277
I like it the way it is because, if it became support only it would quickly die.
It should remain discussion/debate/argument.
James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 18, 2008 - 10:01AM #5
KatherineOrthodixie
Posts: 3,689
What they said.

Limiting discussion to "support" (however you define that - which can be tricky, since some people seem to think anything other than "poor baby" is not supportive). While IMHO we should strive for civility, it's other povs that are important. I know that it's happened many times that others will bring up a point or angle or way of looking at things that never occurred to me. That's what's useful and valuable.
“The Law of the Church is to give oneself to what is given not to seek one’s own.” Fr. Alexander Schmemann
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 27, 2008 - 11:51PM #6
qtbabe
Posts: 823
Hi DAH,

I'm glad that you posted this survey and collect others' opinions about this forum.  I really appreciate for being a great host and care about our opinions.  This marriage forum had helped me a great deal with my marriage and thanks to most of the posters here, I picked up myself and get my marriage to work.  The supports of all posters here were very helpful to me during my down time.  As I get healthier, I have tried to give back by posting my own experience to advice the OP here on this board. 
The past few months of 2008, I felt this forum had a lots of debates and tough advices to the OP which turned me off and stayed away from this marriage forum with sadness.
I really like to see this forum as a support groups and social, and limit to debating.  I believe most OPs here are seeking for advices. And as poster: if you read the post, and felt that you had gone thru this same experiences in your life or some sort of similarity in that situation and perhaps you can post or share your experiences with others that would be wonderful for all of us to benefit from that.  I strongly believe that this is not a forum for debating about the marriage relationship.  Some time others' opinions might be different, and we can genuinely discuss it and agree to disagree but not in a debating forum.

DAH, thank you very much again for asking .........hope all well with you...
QT:)
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 15, 2008 - 7:39AM #7
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277

qtbabe wrote:

Hi DAH,

I'm glad that you posted this survey and collect others' opinions about this forum.  I really appreciate for being a great host and care about our opinions.  This marriage forum had helped me a great deal with my marriage and thanks to most of the posters here, I picked up myself and get my marriage to work.  The supports of all posters here were very helpful to me during my down time.  As I get healthier, I have tried to give back by posting my own experience to advice the OP here on this board. 
The past few months of 2008, I felt this forum had a lots of debates and tough advices to the OP which turned me off and stayed away from this marriage forum with sadness.
I really like to see this forum as a support groups and social, and limit to debating.  I believe most OPs here are seeking for advices. And as poster: if you read the post, and felt that you had gone thru this same experiences in your life or some sort of similarity in that situation and perhaps you can post or share your experiences with others that would be wonderful for all of us to benefit from that.  I strongly believe that this is not a forum for debating about the marriage relationship.  Some time others' opinions might be different, and we can genuinely discuss it and agree to disagree but not in a debating forum.

DAH, thank you very much again for asking .........hope all well with you...
QT:)


QT... If a person posts on a public forum, that person is running the risk of getting advice that he/she does not want to hear.   We cannot limit the discussions to advice and support.  It's called "Relationships and Marriage", not "Advice & Support for ..."
Debate happens.  There is ALWAYS someone who disagrees with someone else.   It's human nature, and not a bad thing.  Sometimes the debate/argument leads to changes in thinking, and better advice.

James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 28, 2008 - 10:01PM #8
delmarvamom
Posts: 2,001
The people that post here regularly obviously like it the way it is. It is difficult to survey those that do not like the format, since they just don't come often. I prefer support to debate, but do think exchanging experiences and ideas is good. I am not interested in putting my personal life in public to then defend my feelings, perceptions and choices. That is not a debate I want to take part in on the internet with strangers.

I AM interested in others experiences and general advice that can help me gain perpective, encourage me, and enlighten me. I do think an open exchange of ideas is useful. For example, "Have you thought of this..." or "What I found in my situation..." "You might want to look into this author or program." I do not want a non-professional to project their relationship experiences on me and tell me what to do or think, or attempt to diagnose me. To them it is theoretical, for me it is my life.

Most people I know that are in a relationship, know how complicated and delicate it can be. I feel that people who have ended relationships seem to want  to offer pat answers based on what happened to them. So for me, debate is not comfortable in this area of my life.
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6 years ago  ::  Sep 12, 2008 - 10:46AM #9
Cesmom
Posts: 4,594

Tmarie64 wrote:

QT... Sometimes the debate/argument leads to changes in thinking, and better advice.


I totally agree.  I enjoy hearing the different perspectives that come out of some of these debates as well as sharing my own.  As long as it remains respectfuly, I think you learn more and get better advice by hearing different sides. 

I originally came here for the sole purpose of getting advice and support and a little validation for what I'm going through in my own marriage, but I also enjoy having the chance to share on the other topics I see here.  I think this is a really good forum and would like to see it continue just the way it is.

Our need to learn should always outweigh our need to be right

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.
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6 years ago  ::  Sep 13, 2008 - 6:18PM #10
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277
CES... I used to come here for validation... then realized, maybe it's not validation I need but change.  I don't start a lot of threads, but I sure learn a lot from people who post in this forum.  I've been given different perspectives to look from and at.
James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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