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Switch to Forum Live View Misconceptions about sex
7 years ago  ::  May 15, 2008 - 3:52PM #1
DAH54
Posts: 3,318
When it comes to sex, many of us think we know it all—or at least enough that we don't need further education. But no matter what your background or relationship status, you've probably heard (and believed) a sexual falsehood somewhere along the line. Maybe it was an old wives' tale about physical attraction or an urban legend about what's normal in the bedroom. Many people get their first bits of information about sex from their friends and peers. While some of this may be useful and accurate, a good part of it is false. Some myths have been passed down through generations and continue with the use of the Internet.

1. Singles have more sex than married people: Contrary to popular belief, it's married people who have more sex. According to Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher's The Case for Marriage, approximately 40 percent of married people have sex twice a week, compared with only 20 to 25 percent of singles and cohabitating couples.

Myth: Everyone is having sex. I should be too.
Reality: Sex is a personal issue. The decision when to have sex, or to begin a sexual relationship with a new partner, is a choice that is different for everyone. Being comfortable with the decision is what is important - regardless of what others are doing.

Myth: If you really love someone, sex is the only real way to show them that you do.
Reality: There are many ways for people to show their affection for one another. While sex can be a rewarding expression of feelings between partners, there are also non-sexual ways of showing love. Don't be pressured into conforming to someone's else's ideas. be creative!

2. Men think about sex every seven seconds: As it turns out, this is fiction, too. According to a 1994 "Sex in America" survey, 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 percent think about it a few times a week or month, and 4 percent think about it less than once a month.

3. Women are naturally more monogamous than men: Although it's difficult to prove or disprove, researchers believe this popular assumption is more a matter of perception and socialization than biology. As they point out, in most mammalian species, both the males and females are highly, and equally, promiscuous.

Myth: Boys as a rule have sex at a younger age than girls.
Reality: A Global study published in The Lancet found that contrary to popular belief, sexual activity is not starting any earlier than commonly believed. Nearly everywhere, men and women have their first sexual experiences in their late teens (aged 15-19 years), with generally younger ages for women than for men.

Myth: Men are likely to have more sexual partners than women.
Reality: Men and women in Australia, Britain, France and the US tend to have an almost equal number of sexual partners, based on the 2006 Lancet report.

4. Pornography is an addictive substance: Some people view porn as a harmless pastime, while others see it as a health hazard. Either way, most scientists agree that although it's possible to become addicted to pornography, the addiction is behavioral, much like an addiction to gambling. Porn itself is not an addictive substance in the same category as heroin or cocaine.

5. Herbal aphrodisiacs can enhance your sex life: Ginger, coriander, or cardamom can enhance a host of recipes, but sadly, they won't succeed in spicing up your sex life. A review by the FDA revealed that no purported aphrodisiac has ever been scientifically proven to increase sex drive. And some, like Spanish Fly, can even be potentially dangerous.

6. Sex during pregnancy will hurt the baby: Believe it or not, sex is perfectly safe during the vast majority of pregnancies. In fact, most couples can keep having sex until the woman's water breaks. However, there are cases in which sex should be avoided, so be sure to talk to your doctor if you have any concerns.

7. Women can't get pregnant during their period: Couples who believe this myth may be in for a big surprise. According to a 2000 study conducted by the National Institute of Environmental Sciences, at least 2 percent of women enter their fertile period only 4 days into their menstrual cycle, and 17 percent enter it by the seventh day. Sperm can live for up to five days, so this myth has likely resulted in many unplanned pregnancies.

Myth: A girl cannot get pregnant if it is her first time having sex.
Reality: The first time is not a freebie! As soon as a woman is biologically capable of becoming pregnant - that is, once she has started to menstruate - any act of unprotected sex could result in pregnancy.

Myth: A girl cannot get pregnant if the boy pulls out before he ejaculates.
Reality: The 'pull-out' or 'withdrawal' method is not an effective way of preventing pregnancy and has a failure rate of about 19 per cent. This means that if 100 women used this method as their only means of contraception for a year, about 19 would become pregnant. Before ejaculation, the penis secretes pre-ejaculatory fluid that can contain thousands of sperm. It only takes one to get pregnant!

Myth: A girl cannot get pregnant if sex occurs during her period.
Reality: This myth argues that since ovulation has occurred and the egg is being shed during menstruation, pregnancy cannot occur at this time. However, ovulation can actually occur during or shortly after menstruation, and sperm can live in the vagina for five to seven days, so there is still the risk of conception. Since each woman's menstrual cycle is different, it's not always possible to predict which days are "safe".

Myth: Pregnancy cannot occur if people have sex while standing up or the woman is on top during intercourse.
Reality: Different sexual positions make very little difference in the chances of getting pregnant. The reproductive parts of our bodies are designed to facilitate reproduction. When sperm are deposited into the vagina, natural processes guide them toward the woman's cervix and uterus.

8. Sex the night before an athletic event will ruin your performance: Although some coaches and athletes advocate abstinence the night before competitions, scientists are quick to point out that there's no evidence to support this myth. In fact, a 2000 study published in the Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness reported that sex had "no detrimental influence on the maximal workload achieved or on the athletes' mental concentration."

9. Talking to kids about sex will encourage them to have sex: It might be uncomfortable or a little embarrassing, but talking to children about sex doesn't encourage them to have it. According to the American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry, open communication helps children to make healthy and appropriate decisions regarding their sexual behavior.

10. Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way: A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that men and women can indeed have platonic relationships. The researchers, who tracked 20 pairs of friends, confirmed that "friendship attraction"—a connection devoid of lust—between the genders is a bona-fide bond.

Myth: I don't need to worry because only people who sleep around get STDs.
Realty: Anyone who is sexually active is at risk of contracting an STD - even if it is their first time. All it takes is engaging in sexual activity with one infected partner.

Myth: You cannot get an STD from giving or receiving oral sex.
Reality: Many people believe that oral sex is not 'real sex' and therefore the same dangers do not exist. This is potentially the most dangerous myth out there. Oral sex is safer than penetrative sex, but "safer" doesn't mean "safe". Any exposure to bodily fluids or genitalia puts people at risk for contracting a STD. Herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, hepatitis A & B, chlamydia, syphilis and HIV can all be transmitted through oral sex.

Myth: Condoms provide protection from all STDs.
Reality: When used consistently and properly, condoms are the best way to protect against STDs. However, some STDs can be transmitted through any type of sexual contact, not just sex. Herpes and Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), the virus that causes genital warts, can be spread through skin-to-skin contact and a condom may not fully protect you.

Myth: I'm on the pill so I don't need to worry about STDs.
Reality: The oral contraceptive pill is designed to prevent pregnancy. It offers no protection against STDs.

Myth: It doesn't really matter if I get a STD as they all have a cure.
Reality: While many STDs are curable or can be controlled, others such as genital herpes, Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) genital warts and the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) are not. STDs can lead to serious health conditions such as infertility, spontaneous abortion, cancer and death.

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6 years ago  ::  May 29, 2008 - 4:08PM #2
appy20
Posts: 10,165
3.  Is not not a  myth.  Women have higher levels of oxytocin and men are estimated to cheat from 65% to 75% of the time and women are estimated to cheat from 35-40%.
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6 years ago  ::  May 29, 2008 - 6:58PM #3
DAH54
Posts: 3,318
Women are naturally monogamous. Men tend to rove.
That assumption is not only part of popular belief, it has also been enshrined by science. Darwin, writing of animal mating habits, referred to the "elusiveness of females." More recently, Donald Symons, in his influential 1979 book "The Evolution of Human Sexuality," contended that it is natural for men to seek out multiple sexual partners while women are motivated to settle down with a single "good provider."
It's not true, says Sarah Hrdy.
Hrdy is Professor of Anthropology Emeritus at the University of California, Davis, and the author of "Mother Nature: A History of Mothers, Infants and Natural Selection" (Pantheon, 1999). On Oct. 12, she delivered the keynote lecture at the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study's first major symposium, "Gender and Inquiry."
The only reason scientists assume females are more monogamous and less sexually driven than men is that Darwin, the first and most influential writer on human evolution, unconsciously reflected the Victorian mores of his time, Hrdy said. If the theory of evolution had emerged a few hundred years earlier, when common belief assumed women to be more lustful than men, the results would have been quite different. The assumption that females of all species tend to be less promiscuous than males simply does not fit the facts, Hrdy contended.


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Evolutionary anthropologist Helen Fisher says she doesn't believe women are naturally more monogamous than men.
"I think we're going to come to find, as women become more economically powerful and express their sexuality more during the course of this century, that women are just as adulterous as men," she said.
Fisher's evidence begins in the bird world.
"Warbler females seem to have a call or a song that they give out when their husband is out of town in order to attract extra mates," she said.
And in most mammalian species, Fisher said, both the male and the female are totally promiscuous
According to Fisher, it's rooted in the Stone Age. "Millions of years ago, if a woman had an extra lover, she would get extra meat from that male. She could get extra protection from that male," she said.
And she could get extra sex as well.

.

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6 years ago  ::  May 30, 2008 - 8:54AM #4
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277
If women WERE more monogamous than men we wouldn't have so many women with 5 kids by 5 different men.
James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 02, 2008 - 7:32PM #5
appy20
Posts: 10,165
Statistically, women have 2.1 children per woman (or something like that) so statistically women don't often have 5 kids period.  Plus, even when they do, they don't usually have them all at the same time.  Actually, the only women I have ever known to have more than 3 children by three men were either very poor, uneducated or mentally ill.

From a biological standpoint, the brains of men and women are different.  The hormones, architecture that all contribute to monogamy are generally different with women being more programmed for monogamy.

Women are becoming more promiscuous, due, imo, the early sexualization of young girls.  When young girls are expected by their peers to give blow jobs at the age of 12, sexuality will become trivialized to the point where the girl's true interest will be lost in an attempt to go with the "norm" for her peers. 

It is becoming less and less cool for women to want emotional bonding.  The culture, in response to prurient male interests and a misguided point of  feminism that espouses the belief that women who give in to male sexual pressures are "liberated"  are contributing to some young girls being pressured into less than ideal sexual relationships.   

In general, women are more monogamous.  However, there are obviously exceptions.  From my point of view, it does not matter.  It is wrong.  Since, I don't date women, it does not matter to me if women do cheat.  My brothers have never had problems finding monogamous women.  None of my male coworkers have had problems finding monogamous women.  None of my male friends or relatives have had problems finding women who were monogamous.  Every woman I know has problems finding men who are not divorced due to infidelity. 

To me, it isn't a competition about which sex is "better."  It is about the shortage of men who can live by my values.  I don't ask anything of men that I cannot give.   No, I have never dated a louse and hope to never do so.  However, I find few men of quality to date and those few are very, very picky, with many, many women after them.  The competition for genuinely good men is stiff.  I know because those are the only men I have EVER been interested in.  I never have known one of them that didn't have half a dozen women desperately wanting to marry them.
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 02, 2008 - 7:59PM #6
DAH54
Posts: 3,318
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 03, 2008 - 9:08AM #7
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277

appy20 wrote:

Statistically, women have 2.1 children per woman (or something like that) so statistically women don't often have 5 kids period.  Plus, even when they do, they don't usually have them all at the same time.  Actually, the only women I have ever known to have more than 3 children by three men were either very poor, uneducated or mentally ill.

.


That statistic (aka bull made up to fit an argument) is an AVERAGE of all women.  Not ALL women have ANY kids.  I personally know of 10 women who each have at least 5 children by 5 different men.  So, just because YOU don't know women with a bunch of kids, they don't exist?
Just because some statistic, that you obviously don't understand is an AVERAGE of ALL women, says so it's not true?

James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 03, 2008 - 4:31PM #8
appy20
Posts: 10,165
An average doesn't mean that MOST women or the MAJORITY of women have 5 children by 5 different men.  You can't say that women who have 5 kids by 5 different men is evidence that women are equally unfaithful as men are.  Whereas, a stat that says 65-75% of men cheat means that MOST or the MAJORITY of men are unfaithful.  There is a big difference , twice at least between 30-35% and 65-75%.  A man has a greater chance of finding a faithful spouse than a woman does. As a single woman, most of the single men out there are divorced because they cheated. I, have never cheated on a guy nor had ANY kids by any man.  Statistically, most women have not had 5 kids by 5 different men. Heck, I wouldn't even make THAT claim about men.  Most men haven't had 5 children by 5 different women.
DAH,
Where did you get your stats?  I do agree that more women are cheating now than ever.  With 65% to 75% of men cheating, most women would be stupid to trust their partners. 

Having said that, I have never distrusted a guy I was with.  However, I am picky about the men I get involved with.
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