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9 years ago  ::  Feb 09, 2009 - 4:09PM #1
Ken Kennoli
Posts: 393
Basically since i lost my job i can't afford my apartment, so the solution seems to be to move in with a girl i've been dating since jan 3. she is very much my girlfriend and very sweet, and we both can stand to be much better off financially by joining in a place. the only way out of my lease is to move into a 2 BR in the same complex.
so is there like anything I should know about living with a girl?
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 09, 2009 - 10:01PM #2
PirateJohn
Posts: 408
Leave the toilet seat down....
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 09, 2009 - 10:17PM #3
lil_lamb
Posts: 2,898
it takes a few days of growing leg hair to a quarter inch so you can depilitate.
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 10, 2009 - 9:50AM #4
appy20
Posts: 10,165
If she asks if you if she looks fat in those jeans, the answer is No.   Memorize this.
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 10, 2009 - 10:01AM #5
IreneAdler
Posts: 2,849
Be ready to give up more closet space, bathroom shelf space, drawer space than you had anticipated (50/50 ain't gonna cut it!).

Purchase more toilet paper than you are used to buying.

You will learn that your cleaning habits aren't cutting it and the dwelling needs to be cleaned more often and to a greater degree than you are used to.  Do not dispute this.  Just nod and smile-and pitch in. And no, this does not imply that you are a slob. 

Meal procurement is not automatically the responsibility of one that wears the dress.  Ditto laundry.  But I'm betting you are beyond the curve on things like this.

Best to work out the chore list in advance or there will be mis-understandings regarding who is expected to do what, when and how.

Irene.
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 10, 2009 - 8:24PM #6
Hatman
Posts: 9,954
Ken-
Everything Irene said, plus:
If there's two bathrooms---or even a half-bath---attempt to have one designated "his," and the other, "hers."  This will cut down on quite a few arguments and irritations over lacy underthings being hung up to dry, etc., not to mention shelf-space.

If there's only one bath, get into a routine of bringing everything you need to shower, shampoo, shave, etc., with you when you're having your time in there, and take it back to your room when you're done.

Also, a good idea to have a "light-out" bag packed at all times; since you're moving into HER place, chances are that she'll feel right proprietory toward it, and any arguments that ensue will likely result in your leaving---either temporarily or permanently.  Being prepared for that can forestall it, sometimes---and if not, then when you go, you won't be missing much.

The rest depends on her personality type, and yours.  I wish you well.  It's hard to get along with ANYone, much less someone you're intimate with; what seemed endearing and quirky when you were dating often becomes grating and irritating when in close proximity; a lot of truth to that old saying, "familiarity breeds contempt."  Keep as much mystery as possible; don't insist on knowing everything about her, and refuse to tell her everything about yourself.

Also, it may be a good idea to write up a rental agreement between the two of you, as well---like who buys what, etc.  I know that personally, I despise it when people use my stuff and never replace it---like food, milk, toilet paper, shampoo, laundry detergent, paper towels, soap, toothpaste, etc.  In addition, it would be a good idea to list all the chores that are usually done, and divide 'em up equitably.  For example, I tell potential roommates that the bathroom they use WILL be cleaned once a week, or I will do it---and charge 'em 25 bux, to boot.  Ever try to clean a toilet that has been allowed to accumulate "grody" for 5 or more months?  Not fun.

One more thing:  try to decide in advance what happens should there be a breakup or circumstances change.  What you're entering into, like it or not, is a partnership---and most going in always expect the best, never planning nor providing for the worst, like what happens when the partnership dissolves.

Warmest regards-

Hatman
"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 10, 2009 - 8:38PM #7
frankieestep
Posts: 682
First, I echo what has been said already.  Very good advice here!

Now, make sure that you both totally understand the arrangement.  Is it intimate?  Is it roommates?  Who sleeps where? 

Now, about the sharing of expenses.  I found, with former roommates, that shopping together for the household items and splitting the bill worked well.  We each bought our own food, but the things we both used we bought together.  Decide who pays what on the utilities.  Money issues can end things in a hurry.  If you don't use the phone and she does, maybe she should pay the phone bill.  If you watch a lot of TV and she doesn't maybe you should pay for the cable. 

It all boils down to COMMUNICATION before the big move.  If you both know what to expect going in, it usually goes a lot better.
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 10, 2009 - 8:24PM #8
Hatman
Posts: 9,954
Ken-
Everything Irene said, plus:
If there's two bathrooms---or even a half-bath---attempt to have one designated "his," and the other, "hers."  This will cut down on quite a few arguments and irritations over lacy underthings being hung up to dry, etc., not to mention shelf-space.

If there's only one bath, get into a routine of bringing everything you need to shower, shampoo, shave, etc., with you when you're having your time in there, and take it back to your room when you're done.

Also, a good idea to have a "light-out" bag packed at all times; since you're moving into HER place, chances are that she'll feel right proprietory toward it, and any arguments that ensue will likely result in your leaving---either temporarily or permanently.  Being prepared for that can forestall it, sometimes---and if not, then when you go, you won't be missing much.

The rest depends on her personality type, and yours.  I wish you well.  It's hard to get along with ANYone, much less someone you're intimate with; what seemed endearing and quirky when you were dating often becomes grating and irritating when in close proximity; a lot of truth to that old saying, "familiarity breeds contempt."  Keep as much mystery as possible; don't insist on knowing everything about her, and refuse to tell her everything about yourself.

Also, it may be a good idea to write up a rental agreement between the two of you, as well---like who buys what, etc.  I know that personally, I despise it when people use my stuff and never replace it---like food, milk, toilet paper, shampoo, laundry detergent, paper towels, soap, toothpaste, etc.  In addition, it would be a good idea to list all the chores that are usually done, and divide 'em up equitably.  For example, I tell potential roommates that the bathroom they use WILL be cleaned once a week, or I will do it---and charge 'em 25 bux, to boot.  Ever try to clean a toilet that has been allowed to accumulate "grody" for 5 or more months?  Not fun.

One more thing:  try to decide in advance what happens should there be a breakup or circumstances change.  What you're entering into, like it or not, is a partnership---and most going in always expect the best, never planning nor providing for the worst, like what happens when the partnership dissolves.

Warmest regards-

Hatman
"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 10, 2009 - 8:38PM #9
frankieestep
Posts: 682
First, I echo what has been said already.  Very good advice here!

Now, make sure that you both totally understand the arrangement.  Is it intimate?  Is it roommates?  Who sleeps where? 

Now, about the sharing of expenses.  I found, with former roommates, that shopping together for the household items and splitting the bill worked well.  We each bought our own food, but the things we both used we bought together.  Decide who pays what on the utilities.  Money issues can end things in a hurry.  If you don't use the phone and she does, maybe she should pay the phone bill.  If you watch a lot of TV and she doesn't maybe you should pay for the cable. 

It all boils down to COMMUNICATION before the big move.  If you both know what to expect going in, it usually goes a lot better.
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 12, 2009 - 5:58PM #10
Ken Kennoli
Posts: 393
well we got the financial arrangement worked out, and its easy because we both dont watch TV. I got cable internet.
there's 2 bathrooms, and me and the cat will take one.
i'm more or less freaked out because we are moving in together well before i know whether I want to marry her or not. but if we step on each others toes too much, she can move out. my current lease and deposit is being transferred and the apartment is just across the parking lot from my current one. she is just gonna be accountable for her 1/2 of stuff while she is here.
rents went down, and the 2BR is gonna be the SAME cost as my one BR, which I can maintain when I am working in my field. so she can make a clean break at no more expense than i'm used to. on that, I figure I'll give it a shot, the only thing I REFUSE to compromise on, is watching chick flicks. no dice.
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