The controlling aspect of his personality is likely due to low self esteem and an attempt at getting back control in his life.

I can understand the guilt, but your lawyer is right. You will be entitled to half the marital assets and you may be entitled to alimony depending on the aspects of your marriage (document-do-it-yourself-service.com/free...)

I've learned you cannot change someone, nor can you make them change. Unfortunately, his controlling will only get worse as he ages, and make it worse for you.