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Switch to Forum Live View Emotional Infidelity...A Love Affair or Just Friends
5 years ago  ::  Mar 26, 2010 - 12:45PM #41
Cesmom
Posts: 5,149

Mar 26, 2010 -- 1:40AM, Richard wrote:


Why would a married person want an opposite sex friend?




As Appy pointed out, you describe good solid boundaries on opposite sex friendships.  I have a lot of friends, both male and female.  None of my friends, of either gender, are as close to me or receive as much of a time commitment from me as my husband...as it should be. 


In response to your question, though, why wouldn't a married person want a friend, opposite sex or otherwise?  Why would marriage affect your desire to interact with other people on a regular basis?  As a general rule, I don't see why any person would avoid a friendship with any other person, regardless of gender, unless there was a specific reason.  There just need to be appropriate boundaries.

Our need to learn should always outweigh our need to be right

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.
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5 years ago  ::  Mar 26, 2010 - 5:00PM #42
appy20
Posts: 10,165

Mar 26, 2010 -- 12:45PM, Cesmom wrote:


Mar 26, 2010 -- 1:40AM, Richard wrote:


Why would a married person want an opposite sex friend?




As Appy pointed out, you describe good solid boundaries on opposite sex friendships.  I have a lot of friends, both male and female.  None of my friends, of either gender, are as close to me or receive as much of a time commitment from me as my husband...as it should be. 


In response to your question, though, why wouldn't a married person want a friend, opposite sex or otherwise?  Why would marriage affect your desire to interact with other people on a regular basis?  As a general rule, I don't see why any person would avoid a friendship with any other person, regardless of gender, unless there was a specific reason.  There just need to be appropriate boundaries.




I think the reason would be that so few today have the honor to respect those boundaries.  This applies to both genders.  People seem to think that just because they can, it is okay.  I see so few people who really have the integrity to deny themselves something they want and will approach a married person with an agenda.  Many times people wanting friendship with a married person or a married person wanting a friendship with a single person, do so for the wrong reason.  That makes it dicey for ALL of us.  Some of us play by rules and some don't.  It isn't always easy to differentiate between the two.

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5 years ago  ::  Mar 29, 2010 - 5:15PM #43
Erey
Posts: 18,940

Sometimes when a person is loudly condeming their partner as a cheater that is becasue they themselves are cheating and are parinoid that the other person is also.


 


I think it is fine to have opposite sex friends but you must have good boundaries.


For instance, I am unlikely to just go out to lunch with a male friend unless it is for business purposes.  However if I see a friend at a restaurant we might sit together. 


I don't typically call or email unless I have a purpose.  Sometimes that purpose is a social get together that includes significant others, etc. 

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5 years ago  ::  Mar 29, 2010 - 10:42PM #44
Tolerant Sis
Posts: 4,201

Richard, most of my dearest friends are of the opposite sex, and I've been happily married for going on 27 years. My husband would say the same thing.


While the relationship with my husband is important, it would be impossible for us to be all things to one another.  My husband isn't particularly interested in politics; I am.  I am not particularly interested in sports; he is.  He is not a good sailor; I am.  Over a period of time, we discovered that rather than make one another miserable trying to 'enjoy' the other person's hobbies or interests, it was better to make friends who shared those interests.


 

First amendment fan since 1793.
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4 years ago  ::  May 29, 2010 - 10:30AM #45
David
Posts: 287

I personally think there is no such thing as an "emotional" affair..especially if you never meet.

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