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Switch to Forum Live View I don't find my husband attractive
6 years ago  ::  Oct 16, 2008 - 3:33PM #21
Bwaters427
Posts: 23
Do you not find him attractive because he has gained weight or something like that or is he just completely not your type (in the looks department)? I don't exactly have good advice, but I'd like to share my opinion anyways. I, for one, think that my husband is the sexiest man alive. Of course I see men on TV that are in better shape and may have better features, but I love my husband so much that I STILL think he's sexiest.  Not to sound shallow, but physical beauty is a huge part of relationships.  Its definitely not everything, but it can make or break one.  So I would consider leaving on that point alone. But also, marriage is a very sacred thing. If you love him and said your vows to him, you should be with him no matter what (except for infedelity of course). Well, there ya have it. My terrible advice. I hope everything works out for you sweetie.
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 11, 2008 - 6:19PM #22
nennette
Posts: 1
I was curious to see how Nisky is doing with this issue as I am very much in the same situation.
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 11, 2008 - 10:34PM #23
Ceren
Posts: 1,430

niksy wrote:

Hatman, Thank you again. Before i used to think it was becaue i didn't enjoy it but now I think the reason why i don't enjoy any of it is because i am not attracted to him.




Mmm... sex is a "mental process". If you can enjoy sex with yourself (i.e. masturbation) you can definitely enjoy sex with most people  (provided both people involved know how to make each other feel good).

I don't know but at least in my experience, when my husband is intimate with me, he does it in a way and he makes me feel in a way that I really don't even remember how he looks like! 

So I don't know if you don't enjoy intimacy necessarily because you don't feel attracted to him. I really think this is an area where you 2 should work hard on, since having a good intimate time will probably make you feel more attracted to him.

All the best,
Ceren

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5 years ago  ::  Nov 11, 2008 - 10:36PM #24
PirateJohn
Posts: 408
[QUOTE=Hatman;823259]Why, even Quasimodo had his Esmerelda[/QUOTE]

Actually, Esmeralda had the hots for Phoebus, who was a good-looking jerk who didn't give a damn about her...

Just sayin'
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 12, 2008 - 1:44AM #25
Hatman
Posts: 9,634
PJ-
Ok, I stand corrected.(never read the book, truthfully).

But I'm certain that equally mismatched couples have existed from the dawn of time.

Warmest regards-

Hatman
"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 12, 2008 - 1:44AM #26
Hatman
Posts: 9,634
PJ-
Ok, I stand corrected.(never read the book, truthfully).

But I'm certain that equally mismatched couples have existed from the dawn of time.

Warmest regards-

Hatman
"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 14, 2008 - 7:49AM #27
jessie09
Posts: 41
I believe in the 21 century, most everyone places emphasis on the Physical. And to a degree that is what is noticed, but I think it is what is inside that counts. Of course, none wants to be with an ugly man or woman, but again beauty is only skin deep. And what may appear to be beautiful to me, may not appear beautiful to someone else. And I cant see ending a marriage because you do not find your husband physically attractive anymore.  People should realize that beauty is like a magnet, it draws you in, but after so long, the mask comes off, and what you see is the real person, now, that is the one you are gonna be with, is that the person you are going to be happy with? Beauty is only skin deep.
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 14, 2008 - 7:49AM #28
jessie09
Posts: 41
I believe in the 21 century, most everyone places emphasis on the Physical. And to a degree that is what is noticed, but I think it is what is inside that counts. Of course, none wants to be with an ugly man or woman, but again beauty is only skin deep. And what may appear to be beautiful to me, may not appear beautiful to someone else. And I cant see ending a marriage because you do not find your husband physically attractive anymore.  People should realize that beauty is like a magnet, it draws you in, but after so long, the mask comes off, and what you see is the real person, now, that is the one you are gonna be with, is that the person you are going to be happy with? Beauty is only skin deep.
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 23, 2008 - 1:01AM #29
blessedx3
Posts: 1
This is the first time I've posted on here, so I hope I'm doing this right :)  I've gone through many ups and downs in this area over eh span of my 12 year marriage.  The worst was after our miscarriage it was probably two whole years before I actually found myself interested in sex.  After having our children, there were natural lulls due to hormone changes and sheer exhaustion.   To get more to my point, I wanted to recommend a couple of books.  People have mentioned technique in a couple of different replies, we read Mars and Venus in the bedroom when we first got married.  It was full of great info and it's a wonderful tool to read together to open communication.  And Honey I don't have a Headache tonight by Sheila Wray Gregoire.  It's written from a christian perspective.  If nothing else, it's got some great points  to think about.
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 23, 2008 - 6:34PM #30
mytmouse57
Posts: 9,776
Physical attraction is a must, as far as I'm concerned. I tried when I was younger and maybe not so sure of myself dating women that I loved dearly and respected as friends, but just did not find physically attractive. It did not work, and never could. The relationships I've had with women I did find attractive were so much deeper and dynamic. That being said, I certainly don't expect a woman to look like a movie star, because I sure as hell don't look like Brad Pitt... LOL!

The important thing to remember that "attractive" can be subjective. And if you really care about somebody and find their personality attractive, they don't have to have what you might have thought of in your mind as the "perfect" physical appearance. But even so, there has to be some kind of physical spark there, IMO.

Also, somebody posted earlier that they felt they were just not attractive. Don't say that! There's so many different people with so many different tastes out there, no matter who you are, some will find you attractive and some will not. Sooner or later, the odds pretty much dictate you will meet somebody with whom you have mutual attraction.
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