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Switch to Forum Live View Things to Do for the Newly Separated
6 years ago  ::  Jun 23, 2008 - 2:55PM #1
DCBo
Posts: 1
Hello,

I'm newly separated...about to start my third month.  Lol, its been a blur.

One of the things I've been thinking about...healthy and good activities to do while I'm going through my divorce-marriage recovery/morning phase.

I would very much like to hear from others in terms of what helped you the most during these early days.

For me, learning to be alone is something new and hard to do (being alone with out being lonely).  That said, I'm very social and would like to do social things.   I do not really have a large circle of friends (I mainly work and spend time at home).

Obviously, dating is not something I'm ready for/interested in/etc.  I'm still married though we are separated.  And the divorce is her decision, alas, not mine.  I'm starting to load up on church activities, which for those of you who have been through this, its a very spiritual time (no atheists in fox holes, as they say).

Anyway, how about some fun, up-beat ideas to help fight off the blues!!!

Cheers, Bo
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 24, 2008 - 9:57AM #2
ArnieBeeGut
Posts: 1,407
DCBo,

Welcome to the Divorce & Separation Forum.  I hope you find the interactions to be useful - there are many caring members here who have been through the difficulties of hurting or broken marriages, and are happy to share and give feedback.

Even though you are not happy with the decision to divorce, you accept its inevitability.  Maybe you have some idea about why it came to this point.  Perhaps you are completely clear about where you stand with regards to the marriage, and are ready to start moving on with your life.

Maybe you would be willing to express what difficult feelings come up that you wish to "beat."

Blessings,
ArnieBeeGut
Beliefnet Community Host
Divorce & Separation
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 24, 2008 - 1:52PM #3
sharon_bivens
Posts: 658
It is a soul searching time.  Go back in your mind to the things you always enjoyed doing before you married, and things you always wanted to do....get busy!!

Join a bowling league, or a pool league, or whatever you enjoy.

A friend of mine took up ice skating and then joined an ice hockey team...(?)

Join a gym!!! 

There is a world of things out there to do that do not require bars, or dating or hustling....

The thing right now, is to find your own comfort zones.  Love yourself, be kind to yourself. 

Meet other people that enjoy the same things you enjoy.

Take your time!!

God bless,

Sharon
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 26, 2008 - 6:56AM #4
dreamhealth
Posts: 617
Just say, "I enjoy my own company!" and take it seriously.
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 26, 2008 - 6:56AM #5
dreamhealth
Posts: 617
Just say, "I enjoy my own company!" and take it seriously.
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6 years ago  ::  Jul 23, 2008 - 9:42AM #6
machllz
Posts: 7
I too am struggling with filling my empty time.  It is so hard!  I hate being alone and I live in a small town.  There is not much to do.  I have decided to join a church group. I think the support will do me good.  I refuse to do the bar scene, that is just not me and I will not meet the kind of people I feel are like me.  My ex has moved on just this week with a new girlfriend he swears to be in love with.  I don't want to run into them (already happened two days ago and led me to a major panic attack).

All I can say is I hear ya!  If I sit at home alone I will definitely not meet new and positive people, but I am at a loss as to where to go?  I was married for so long and my social life was about my husband and myself.
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