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Switch to Forum Live View inlaws - is there a limit?
10 years ago  ::  Jun 18, 2008 - 4:52PM #11
Posts: 2,849
Oh, Katherine- thank you!

So kind of you to take time to say so. I do value your opinions/thoughts.

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10 years ago  ::  Jun 19, 2008 - 8:35PM #12
Posts: 286
I'd have to say to just let the situation be.  If this was a permanent situation that you'd have to deal with for a longer period of time than 6 months then you should speak up to both your husband and then the in-laws if he's not moving.  But, since it is only until their home is finished, it's probably not worth getting worked up over.  I would certainly plan a night out for yourself- and probably one with just you and hubby and another one with you and your hubby and kids and leave the cold cuts out on the counter next to the take-out menus.  I would be cautious though - they will be only 90 minutes away now - are they going to make a habit of visiting more often?  At least they are close enough to home to not have to stay the night but you may want to think about where you want to be in 6 months when they are closer and work toward that.
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10 years ago  ::  Jun 22, 2008 - 10:35PM #13
Posts: 54
[QUOTE=BethK;570247]I think your requests are entirely reasonable.  Respect should come to you first, then his parents and right now, he isn't respecting you.  6 weeks is a looong time for a visit.  It is his responsibility to set some limits with his parents.[/QUOTE]
I heard when you get married you marry that person as well as their entire family good, bad or indifferent. That's why it's important to get to know the other persons family before you marry them and they should get to know you and yours. Keeping family at a distance, not having one or not having a good one can be a blessing. It makes it so much easier that way.
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10 years ago  ::  Jun 23, 2008 - 6:11AM #14
Posts: 56
of course there's always a limit for everything but in this case, i don't see any reason why you'll feel so bad about all this stuff.they are your in-laws, like your second parents, not just anybody else...wouldn't it be nice to be close to your in-laws? are their staying for 6weeks really bothers you that much? it's only 6weeks and not that they're going to live there the rest of their lives...i do believe you're lucky,really!!! because they like you as a daughter otherwise they'll not stay...i think there's always a way to cope up with this.if you have problem with the chores and tired of doing it, ask your husband to hire someone to help you do the chores for 6weeks, like a part time least you've time to mingle with them and not just doing the house chores...sit and relax with them so they can enjoy your company more... :)
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10 years ago  ::  Jun 23, 2008 - 2:25PM #15
Posts: 9
Of course I make them feel welcome. Perhaps some of you misunderstood that they have been coming every 6 weeks for a year now, and this particular visit is lasting six weeks, then they plan to come back in August. My husband seems to finally understand where I am coming from so being heard by him has helped my attitude considerably. Before they come back in August, we'll have the discussion about letting us choose the best day to come and working out ahead of time how long they will be visiting. That seems only considerate as we wouldn't just show up at their door without asking ahead of time and for a set time period convenient to all. He does feel like he has a big blind spot in dealing with his parents as you all figured.
My sisters and family are coming for a short visit over July 4th, so that will be interesting for them to see how other people interact with us, and particularly with the kids. 
Yes, once they get the cabin all liveable, they will continue to come often though not through the winter, and they won't be staying with us as much. I hope, lol.
I am glad that my FIL has found a project that makes him look forward to each new day. When he retired, we weren't sure he would!
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