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Switch to Forum Live View Feeling inadequate
10 years ago  ::  Apr 29, 2008 - 1:38PM #21
Gandalf_Parker
Gandalf_Parker
Posts: 1,188
Come to think of it, you might mention the military. Its not a bad life. Most of the people I met in the military werent in the military to be in the military. They were in to fill the time while working something out. Finding a goal, getting some school, career training, or just growing up. I got a chance to try a dozen very different career paths while in the Air Force. Plus the military provides a LOT of help (and protection) concerning family issues.

It might straighten him up (altho I wouldnt mention that part).
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10 years ago  ::  Apr 29, 2008 - 1:55PM #22
Tmarie64
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277

Gandalf_Parker wrote:

Come to think of it, you might mention the military. Its not a bad life. Most of the people I met in the military werent in the military to be in the military. They were in to fill the time while working something out. Finding a goal, getting some school, career training, or just growing up. I got a chance to try a dozen very different career paths while in the Air Force. Plus the military provides a LOT of help (and protection) concerning family issues.

It might straighten him up (altho I wouldnt mention that part).



Gandalf's right.  My husband was in the army and the last job he had was the one that helped him decide what he REALLY wanted to do.  He didn't realize it for a long time.  But, after working at a GE aircraft engine plant for awhile, he realized that he didn't want to be a drone.  He wanted to be in charge.  So, he went to school, changed careers entirely.  Went back to school, got his degree and now he has moved into management.  He will be starting on his Master's degree this fall.
He hated being in the Army, when it was happening.  But now, he's grateful for those years, they helped him grow up and make firm decisions.

James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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10 years ago  ::  Apr 29, 2008 - 2:02PM #23
KatherineOrthodixie
KatherineOrthodixie
Posts: 3,689
Ditto.

My husband's stint in the Coast Guard provided him with a college education and enabled us to buy our first house. Of course, he'll never go on a cruise!
“The Law of the Church is to give oneself to what is given not to seek one’s own.” Fr. Alexander Schmemann
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10 years ago  ::  Apr 29, 2008 - 2:39PM #24
IreneAdler
IreneAdler
Posts: 2,849
Navy straightened out my bro and he now has a career in gov’t management.  He likes it too. Taught him some very good ways to deal with people as he was a bit on the controlling side.  Served him well.  Plus it paid for his college education.  And allowed him to live all over the world.   


Given your religious commitment to not leave your spouse, can you consult with a pastor or minister or the like, and seek guidance and support there? Surely your faith doesn’t expect you to endure a lifetime of extreme emotional abuse at the hands of a spouse with no recourse whatsoever?


Irene.
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10 years ago  ::  Apr 29, 2008 - 2:52PM #25
KatherineOrthodixie
KatherineOrthodixie
Posts: 3,689
[QUOTE=IreneAdler;465093]Given your religious commitment to not leave your spouse, can you consult with a pastor or minister or the like, and seek guidance and support there? Surely your faith doesn’t expect you to endure a lifetime of extreme emotional abuse at the hands of a spouse with no recourse whatsoever? [/QUOTE]

Excellent point, irene.
“The Law of the Church is to give oneself to what is given not to seek one’s own.” Fr. Alexander Schmemann
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10 years ago  ::  Apr 29, 2008 - 2:58PM #26
IreneAdler
IreneAdler
Posts: 2,849
[QUOTE=KatherineOrthodixie;465140]Excellent point, irene.[/QUOTE]

Thank you Katherine.

Know what:  If I posted an "excellent point!" every time you've written good points, I'd be poster of the year at B-net (most posts ever!).   ;)

Irene.
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10 years ago  ::  Apr 29, 2008 - 4:24PM #27
sharon_bivens
sharon_bivens
Posts: 658
Have you sat down and just tried to talk these things through?  Ego is a very hard thing for a man....The hardest.  He has got to be right about some things!!  Got to be!

Perhaps, if that is his personality, you are used to how he treats you..

He can still go back to school!  It might be the perfect answer for you both..

My son in law is back in school now two nights a week.  My daughter is an attorney and I think they were having a lot of the same issues as you and your husband. 

You have got to let him make some decisions, help you, go to him with your problems, and your concerns, be true partners in life.

When the woman makes more money than the man, it can cause stress, for both sides.  It just can.

It is the male Tarzan thing that he is displaying!

Sometimes, it is easier to bat your eyes at him and say, "Oh, thank you sweetheart, I didn't know that."

You know?

Sharon  :)
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10 years ago  ::  May 01, 2008 - 5:03AM #28
Ethelq5
Ethelq5
Posts: 56
yeah, i agree with sharon...you need to talk things over...for all we know it's just a miscommunication and your silence will just put a big gap on your relationship...tell him how you feel ...discuss your concern...i'm sure he will understand,accept his fault and eventually change...anything is possible
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