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Switch to Forum Live View My Marriage: continue or end?
6 years ago  ::  Mar 15, 2008 - 4:00PM #31
boodlebear
Posts: 1,053
I didn't realize you were posting as i was writing. It's on there.
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 15, 2008 - 4:07PM #32
boodlebear
Posts: 1,053
The lawyer is the best one to ask about the hidden direct deposit.  Even a bank manager could possibly shed light.
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 15, 2008 - 4:11PM #33
boodlebear
Posts: 1,053
[QUOTE=boodlebear;358958]When you want to send a message to a friend go into your profile. In the right column you will see Inbox. Open that and across the top you will see Reply; compose, delete and one other. Click compose and it will open to another window. in that window is an area to write your message. It's a large square. Above that there are two smaller columns one with names and one without. Click on the name you want to send a message to. Below that is Add under the left column (with the names) Click Add and the name will be sent to the right column. That is your outgoing mail. If you decide not to send mail to that person below that column is the word Remove. Simply click that and the name is removed from the outgoing mail box. Post your message. At the bottum of the message box is Submit email. And Bob's your uncle :)[/QUOTE]

I found it. Here it is. This is how to get your messages to people and them to write you.
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 15, 2008 - 4:22PM #34
Joynfaith56
Posts: 23
Boodle,
LAwyer said we would find it when the time comes. But I don't think he understands that if D. does this I have NO access to money to pay bills and D, will only give me what he thinks I need!!!!!!!!!
Joy :-)
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 15, 2008 - 4:30PM #35
boodlebear
Posts: 1,053
do you know if the lawyer meant you and he will find the hidden direct deposit, or just general monies?
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 15, 2008 - 4:36PM #36
Joynfaith56
Posts: 23
When I told him about the "threat " he told me if that happens ( i think he as peaking in the context of a divorce ) then the lawyer will find it. Same lawyer that handled my ( last ) divorce. I was married 20 years and my ex decided he didn't want to deal with my health issues. Married the woman he left me for then a year later they learned she has MS , very sad..... But the lawyer did great for me in that divorce., I got everything........ Plus  most of my ex's pay ck everymonth for 7 years....
Joy :-)
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 15, 2008 - 5:26PM #37
boodlebear
Posts: 1,053
Thank you for clarifying that.
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 15, 2008 - 9:38PM #38
AttitudeIsEverything
Posts: 187
Joy,
When my ex told me the same thing about the direct deposit I called his job.  Informed them that a divorce was pending and that legally they should not change anything.  I'm a New York girl with a big mouth, but it's a thought.  If not you, your lawyer could call or maybe write a letter.  Embarrassing for him maybe, but who cares...protect yourself here.  I think it might be worth asking about.  Usually it's a woman in the payroll dept., and honey we've all been there.  Tell her how worried you are, ask if you can be notified of any changes at least.
Hang in there, it's not easy.  But even if he doesn't want someone/something else, you know you need to get out of this toxic relationship.
Another point...stop saying you can't go back to school.  You can once you are free of stress and take it at your own pace. It will be a burden lifted, and you may be amazed how much better you feel physically once things have calmed down and you move forward.
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 15, 2008 - 10:08PM #39
ArnieBeeGut
Posts: 1,407
AttitudeIsEverything,

Welcome to the Divorce & Separation Forum!  Your input is much appreciated, especially since you have "been there and done that" - sad to say.

I hope you can stay awhile and share some more with us.  It is always valuable to hear how it was possible to move on past the pain of divorce and forge a new life for oneself.  Many here are struggling with how to do just that.

Blessings,
Arnie

P.S. I love the name! :)
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 18, 2008 - 8:45PM #40
Joynfaith56
Posts: 23
Dear Attitude,
you wrote:
"When my ex told me the same thing about the direct deposit I called his job. Informed them that a divorce was pending and that legally they should not change anything"

Hmm so other men have used this threat also??!!!!!
But you make a Great suggestion. I will try and do that. I need to figure out where to call. I realize that I should have looked into things before now about what would happen to the money from his job, say if he should die from health issues.
He is overweight with diabetes.
I need to know..... Would the money from his job come directly to me? My sister keeps telling I need to find this out. I just don't want to make my hubby suspicious of why I am looking for answers...
Joy :-)
you wrote....
"and honey we've all been there"

my reply:
Too many of us have "been there" :-( ...
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