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10 years ago  ::  Aug 25, 2008 - 1:57PM #1
vggygurl
Posts: 3
I have been seeing somone and things were great. We had instant chemistry, we both knew that we had something from the first date. He is such a gentleman, attentive, kind etc...
He is in the military and got accepted into a program that has him away for the next 2 years (I'm in Ca he's in Tx).We knew this and he still wanted to continue with a LD relationship. He went to see his 2 children before he left for Tx.(he's divorced) and came back a little distant. He said it was devistating and he felt like he was abandoning his children. I understand that must be so hard to leave the ones you love. He will be able to see them on Holidays and any down time he has from college.
Well, he left last Friday (10 days ago) and I have only spoken to him once and the conversation wasn't the best, basically I know he made it to TX. ok.  He hasn't returned a text or call. I know he had to find a place to live and inprocess the base, but can't he spare a couple of minutes once? Am I asking too much to get one call?
I know in my heart of all hearts he ment every word he said, but I am so confused as to what is going on right now.  No word, that hurts me, it hurts so bad. What to do?
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10 years ago  ::  Aug 25, 2008 - 3:30PM #2
Sailorlal79
Posts: 1,365
[QUOTE=vggygurl;713685]I have been seeing somone and things were great. We had instant chemistry, we both knew that we had something from the first date. He is such a gentleman, attentive, kind etc...
He is in the military and got accepted into a program that has him away for the next 2 years (I'm in Ca he's in Tx).We knew this and he still wanted to continue with a LD relationship. He went to see his 2 children before he left for Tx.(he's divorced) and came back a little distant. He said it was devistating and he felt like he was abandoning his children. I understand that must be so hard to leave the ones you love. He will be able to see them on Holidays and any down time he has from college.
Well, he left last Friday (10 days ago) and I have only spoken to him once and the conversation wasn't the best, basically I know he made it to TX. ok.  He hasn't returned a text or call. I know he had to find a place to live and inprocess the base, but can't he spare a couple of minutes once? Am I asking too much to get one call?
I know in my heart of all hearts he ment every word he said, but I am so confused as to what is going on right now.  No word, that hurts me, it hurts so bad. What to do?[/QUOTE]


Usually, if you feel like something is wrong, it is. It sounds like he's trying to distance himself from you. Long distance relationships are pretty rough, especially if you don't have a strong foundation to deal with it. My advice would be to try to find someone in your neighborhood who isn't in a position that requires them to leave.
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10 years ago  ::  Aug 25, 2008 - 4:07PM #3
KatherineOrthodixie
Posts: 3,689
[QUOTE=vggygurl;713685]I know in my heart of all hearts he ment every word he said, but I am so confused as to what is going on right now.  No word, that hurts me, it hurts so bad. What to do?[/QUOTE]


It all depends on the level of commitment and relationship that you and he were at - had you dated for a long time, were you both on the same page as to where the relationship was headed, etc.

I agree with the above post - more often than not, if something feels wrong in a relationship, there is something wrong.

That said, there really is nothing to do. Unless he contacts you, in which case, you can have a heart-to-heart about what's going on. But if he really is trying to distance himself, respect his wishes and move on.
“The Law of the Church is to give oneself to what is given not to seek one’s own.” Fr. Alexander Schmemann
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10 years ago  ::  Aug 26, 2008 - 1:53AM #4
vggygurl
Posts: 3
I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else...Thank you !
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10 years ago  ::  Aug 27, 2008 - 4:17AM #5
Ethelq5
Posts: 56
he just left 10days back and i'm quite sure he's going through a lot of adjustments.though long distance relationship is really difficult, still we can't say that he's trying to keep his distance with you.we can't base everything with assumptions.you've to understand him more now if you really want to keep the relationship.it will be too premature to jump in to such conclusion..you know when i left my family for work i've decided not to communicate with them for some time because the more i hear them the more i feel "homesick".it was just a phase i know and i'll be over it.now everything is ok.communication is intact.just give him enough time to adjust,only after that you can figure out what will be benificial for both of you.for the meantime find something to do, now is your chance to have time for yourself.have fun.stop worrying...regards :)
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10 years ago  ::  Aug 31, 2008 - 7:55PM #6
vggygurl
Posts: 3
Thank you Ethelq5!!
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