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Switch to Forum Live View Finacial stress on marriage
7 years ago  ::  Oct 18, 2007 - 9:13PM #1
cheddar
Posts: 5
To any and everyone who can help me...it's been a long time since I have posted here and light years away from where I was at that time! I have been so happy and content with life. Although I knew we had financial issues from time to time I never knew the full extent, yes ignorance is bliss sometimes. Well I'm here to ask for prayers and some clarity! My husband informed me that we are in a very serious amount of debt and it is now my job to make things work and pay the debt down. I am willing and open to any suggestions and help that can be offered. We just moved a year ago to a wonderful home and I would like to remain here...Sure there is a lot more to my situation and finances but anything insight that could be offered to help me set us on the right track would be helpful...

thank you all and blessing....
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 19, 2007 - 10:21AM #2
KatherineOrthodixie
Posts: 3,689
I can highly recommend both Consumer Credit Counseling (a non-profit organization) and Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University (many churches host these seminars) or reading his books. I listen to him every day on the radio and believe me, this has made a huge difference in our lives. You hear the stories of people with huge crushing debt loads who are able to become debt-free in just a few years.

Don't think that this will go away or solve itself. You both have to participate and commit yourselves totally to getting out of debt.
“The Law of the Church is to give oneself to what is given not to seek one’s own.” Fr. Alexander Schmemann
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 19, 2007 - 8:14PM #3
cheddar
Posts: 5
Well that's totally understandable that more information is needed after reading my inital post. I wrote it last night after a long and exhausting discussion with my husband and didn't have much engery. Well here's the basics. Until last October I was working full time as a social worker with one child in daycare. My oldest daughter is 4 (5 in February) and our second daughter will be 1 year old on the 27th. I didnot return to work due to the cost for day care out of my salary alone would net $100 a week and between gas and other expenses that would follow it just didn't make sense. Hubby works a full time job and is currently willing and looking for a second job on weekends. I also am looking into working at the local YMCA where oldest goes to pre-school in the childcare area. This would be great on many levels because not only could I bring the girls with me but it would cut down on the monthly membership fees. I feel like we are working our way out of this after, or at least have a plan, a sleepless night. Payment arrangements were made today regarding the newest mounting debt that I learned about. My husband was tryng to "help" and make things work but only made the problem much worse!!!! All credit cards, debit cards have been given to me and an allowance will be made for him to minimize his ability to spend. So here comes the quandry...how after almost 7 years of me not being involved at all in finances do I get control of them and make it work...I guess I just need some advice and suggestions (and thank you for those already given)!

Another reason for my concern and request for prayer is my husband has a history of depression and yesterday was an especially hard day for him. He feels as if he has failed not only me but our daughters and everytime he would look at either of them he would just start crying. He is doing better tonight since we took care of a few bills and finance issues today but I feel as if this will be something he won't let go easily (both good and bad on that point). Please let me know what has worked for some of you...

Thanks again!
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 20, 2007 - 6:28PM #4
romantic1
Posts: 13
Take a look at Crown Financial Ministries (crown.org).  They have an online budgeting system called Mvelopes.  I have previously used thier budgeting software, "Money Matters" named from the program started by the late Larry Burkett (Christial Financial Concepts merged with Crown Ministries before his death from cancer).  I switched to Mvelopes about a month ago and I love it!!!

Mvelopes is an incredible tool to help you get out of debt.  It is based on the budgeting system that used envelopes.  Each pay period you divide your income into the "envelopes" based on your budget.  You can quickly discern where you are over spending and where you can cut.  Getting out of debt will take time, but you can do it!!  The earlier suggestion of Consumer Credit Counseling is also good.  We used them about 20 years ago when I was out of work.
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 18, 2007 - 9:41PM #5
DAH54
Posts: 3,318
Hello Cheddar and welcome to the all new Relationships & Marriage board! I suspect without a lot more information you're not going to get much meaningful help here. Things like do you have children and if so what kind of age range do they fall into, do you both work? What caused the debt that you are experiencing? Have you been a stay at home wife? Does your husband work a 40 hour week? Is he willing to get overtime or a second job? Do you have someone that will watch your children? How much could you make an hour and how much would it cost for child care if it was necessary? There are many question here and the simply get another  job might not be the best answer.

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