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Switch to Forum Live View Why did you get divorced?
7 years ago  ::  Oct 13, 2007 - 2:27PM #1
smoothsable
Posts: 85
Why did you get divorced? I did because my husband cheated on me
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 15, 2007 - 8:41PM #2
AsetAmitAb
Posts: 9
Hi there.  I'm pretty new here.  I got divorced for many reasons.  One, my ex is bipolar and never sought help for it.  He also told me that he decided he didn't want to have kids anymore, knowing that we had agreed to have children before we got married.  A year after he left I found out that around the time things starting falling apart he was communicating with an ex-girlfriend of his.  Coincidence? I think not.
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 15, 2007 - 8:47PM #3
ArnieBeeGut
Posts: 1,407
smoothsable,

Welcome to the Divorce Forum, and sorry for what happened in your marriage.  Infidelity creates some of the deepest pain and can be so hard to get over, even after the marriage ends.  Maybe you would be willing to share a bit about what happened and how you have been able to move on.

All the best,
ArnieBeeGut
Beliefnet Community Host
Divorce Forum
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 15, 2007 - 8:50PM #4
ArnieBeeGut
Posts: 1,407
AsetAmitAb,

Welcome to the Divorce Forum, and sorry for the pain that ended your marriage.  It was no doubt a big shock to discover that there had been contact with an ex, and that perhaps the problems that had been presenting themselves were not what was actually going on.

I hope you can stick around and interact with some of the other members here and maybe share some more of your story.

All the best.

ArnieBeeGut
Beliefnet Community Host
Divorce Forum
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 16, 2007 - 1:55AM #5
FoxtheRox
Posts: 111
It's been some years ago.  Not only did my Ex Cheat he also put his hands on me.  I consider myself lucky as it only happened twice, thought that is 2 times too many, and I had the full support of my family and they were able to bring me back home.
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 16, 2007 - 9:47PM #6
ArnieBeeGut
Posts: 1,407
FoxtheRox,

Welcome to the Divorce Forum, and sorry for the pain you experienced in your marriage - both emotional and physical.  There are a lot of caring people here to interact with, and who would also benefit by your input and sharing.  We are still moving over from the old board, so some of the regulars may be awhile in coming!

Perhaps you would be willing to share some of the things that helped you move past that difficult time.

All the best,

ArnieBeeGut
Beliefnet Community Host
Divorce Forum
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 17, 2007 - 2:15PM #7
ncsearching
Posts: 20
I got divorced because my husband wanted it. Nothing was ever terrible and it was a big surprise for me. I was always the one asking if everything was ok, suggesting and planning vacations, get-a-ways and anniversarys. He used to get upset with me for asking "Is there anything we could do to make this even better" like I was an idiot almost for wanting to communicate. He would always say everythings fine. Then poof - it's "I don't love you anymore". And by the way I love someone else. This from the everythings fine and why would I ever leave you guy.
I wonder - is it easier for those who make the decision to get over the pain or do they even feel any pain?
N
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 17, 2007 - 7:03PM #8
HDRomper
Posts: 242
[QUOTE=ncsearching;4544]I got divorced because my husband wanted it.

ncsearching,

Sorry to hear what has happened to you. Getting divorced through no choice of your own and with no obvious warning  is a very painful surprise. You were very attentive to the relationship down to planning the vacations. getaways and anniversaries while he would say everything is fine. It is very hard to all the sudden hear " I don't love you anymore".

I believe that the person that does the breaking up also feels a great deal of pain or loss. It does appear much easier for them because they already know why and have had time to plan what they are going to do with their life. For the one that is surprised it is like your whole life is being jerked right out from under you. It is very confusing , painful and can take a long time to heal. It does seem very cruel to not at least give the other person a chance to address and change what is hampering the relationship.

You sound like a very compassionate person that really cares in a relationship. You're just the ticket for the right lucky person out there.

You are in my prayers
HD
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 18, 2007 - 7:23AM #9
keesiewonder
Posts: 221
There are a variety of reasons, but perhaps the primary one is my now ex articulated that there are two groups of people in the world: 'family' and 'the outside world'. When I asked which group I was in, he said he was not really sure. (This was 12+ years after we met and nearly 9 years after we married.) When I tried to talk with him about what this was all about, he had some 'clever' passive-aggressive way of 'proving' that it really was my fault that he'd said any of this in the first place, so I shouldn't be upset with him. I filed for divorce about 2.5 years later. This was about 5 years ago.
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 18, 2007 - 7:23AM #10
keesiewonder
Posts: 221
There are a variety of reasons, but perhaps the primary one is my now ex articulated that there are two groups of people in the world: 'family' and 'the outside world'. When I asked which group I was in, he said he was not really sure. (This was 12+ years after we met and nearly 9 years after we married.) When I tried to talk with him about what this was all about, he had some 'clever' passive-aggressive way of 'proving' that it really was my fault that he'd said any of this in the first place, so I shouldn't be upset with him. I filed for divorce about 2.5 years later. This was about 5 years ago.
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