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Switch to Forum Live View Love my kid but Can't stand her?
6 years ago  ::  Dec 22, 2011 - 3:02AM #1
Posts: 2
I have two children 1 is 14,male, boy and la "o-tra" (the other) 8, female, girl...

Went I was growing up I always dreamed of having a beautiful little girl.  Physical beauty chech, attitude = overwhelming.  I have had heart to hearts on countless occasions, no tv, no dance class, no girls scout, no friends and family parties all that (not all at the same time).  All to no avail.  It has to get better.  Have you heard of the show called "I hate my teenage daughter" yeah.....

Am I the only one that feels this way....
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 23, 2011 - 6:06PM #2
Posts: 16,955

I do not always like what my kids do, but that doesn't change my unconditional love for my kids.

You seem to have a preconcieved notion of what a daughter should be and your daughter does not measure up to your preconceptions? 

Perhaps your daughter's behavior is due to the fact she senses from you that she doesn't "measure up" in your eyes.  One of the kids I reach felt his parents hated him because he was "stupid" and "bad" (I teach a special ed class); I've told him repeatedly that I didn't believe that to be true at all.  Unfortunately, what I have noticed in talks with his parents is he's being compared to older siblings who are honor roll, and I suspect that gets communicated to the kid.  It hurts.  And I think a lot of this child's behavior has to do with him oerceotion that his parents have measured him next to older siblings and have "found him wanting."

If you find yourself "hating" your daughter, isn't it possible she's picked up on that, and is in part contributing to her behavior?  I certainly don't consider it normal in a family relationship.

I really recommend you and your daughter see a good family counselor. 

"No freedom without education"
            --Thomas Jefferson

"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition"
            -- Monty Python
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