How many say, "Hey I have three children I wish I had never had, can you help me? And exactly how long after they talk to the school does it get all over town or at least the school AND back to their children?
I've been teaching for awhile and I don't think I have EVER heard a parent ask that.
I HAVE had several inquiries, however on various school and community-based programs that are available to assist disadvantaged family on a variety of issues from finding childcare, signing up kids for free medical services, housing assist, food stamps, or just plain homework help, so they don't feel overwhelmed.
More often than not, those folks who wish they'd never had kids don't tell anyone but DO have a nasty tendency to abuse their children. I'm pretty good at ferreting that out of the kids, at which time I notify CPS. The one thing I’ve noted with irony though is how hard these abusive parents try to get their kids back.
In any case, inquiries do NOT get spread around to every Tom, Dick or Harry. We handle these inquiries in strictest confidence.
Does your school also aid seniors whose children have forgotten them?
I teach kids. I'm not knowledgeable of those agencies that work with elders being neglected or abused by their children. There are pkenty of web sites dealing with elder neglect and abuse tho.
What the story did say was there were a lot of people who didn't want children for the very same reasons that people are suffering through today – no me time, money, overworked, stress, children ungrateful, etc.
Some folks just have no business having children - even if they're independently wealthy. Yet I know of single-parent mothers working two jobs and still only barely making ends meer who still manage to raise happy and cared for children. You get what you give.
Those who won't "give" their children will reap what they sow. "Ungrateful" children were usually put through some form of abuse when they were growing up, and are only to happy to pay back their parents in kind when they get old. Abuse is a vicious cycle that gets passed on generation to generation until someone finally decides enough is enough and seeks to get help to break the cycle.
Some elders are not so much "neglected" deliberately, if their grown children are experiencing those very things many are suffering today, e.g., financial hardship, overworked, stress, no time etc. These are hard times. Often, the only way to get through hard times is with a close family, and those who choose for whatever reason to push family away suffer all the more.
Many of these folks would do well to contact their schools to see what help is available to them.
How does that work exactly? Do you walk into the school and say, "Hey I have three children I wish I had never had, can you help me? And exactly how long after they talk to the school does it get all over town or at least the school AND back to their children? Does your school also aid seniors whose children have forgotten them?
I guess my point is these people do not have a voice.
However that a MJAORITY (as a 70 % figure would indicate) wish they never had kids is NOT a given...
And I never said it was. What the story did say was there were a lot of people who didn't want children for the very same reasons that people are suffering through today – no me time, money, overworked, stress, children ungrateful, etc.
I'm not sure you're making jam or merely ground pits.
That there are people out there who are not ready to raise families is a given. I see it every day when I go to teach. Many of these folks would do well to contact their schools to see what help is available to them.
However that a MJAORITY (as a 70 % figure would indicate) wish they never had kids is NOT a given...
Again, the article was over thirty years ago, and the article admitted it was not a scientific poll.
I've no argument that parents need support, and those who have no family or community support are going to have that much harder a time eaising theor families.
But seventy percent remains an excessively high number...
Who cares about the 70%?! All I am saying is there may be more people young and old out there that wish they had never had children for various reasons. Did you read the article? Some of those same reasons are being said today by parents. In case you missed it - www.ramonacreel.com/BlogEntry.asp?Entry=...
Also it wasn't just parents who were actively raising a family but older, retired people whose children had forgotten them.
I guess this is just me trying to throw the pitts out to make jam and all you see it pitts.
Again, the article was over thirty years ago, and the article admitted it was not a scientific poll.
I've no argument that parents need support, and those who have no family or community support are going to have that much harder a time eaising theor families.
But seventy percent remains an excessively high number...
...the readership of Ann Landers are not exactly the happiest or most stable of folks as they feel the need to read about people worse off than them.
I hate to shake up your low opinion of people but a lot of people read Ann Landers and I know no one who reads it because they need to read about people worse off than they are. Nor do people read it because they have emotional problems. There are heartwarming inspiritional stories in those columns, too. There are things to learn - sometimes they have items about medical conditions, products, etc. Sometimes the article is someone trying to tell the public about something - different ways to support soldiers, money for disasters, etc.
I guess it is like the old saying, "What you put into it is what you get out of it."
And my comment still stands, "Maybe some of the lessons we can learn from this is parents need support from everyone. First from the community and later in life from their children via visits, phone calls, and e-mails. The latter is harder to get."
As the link states, it is NOT a scientific survey, it is over forty years old, and the readership of Ann Landers are not exactly the happiest or most stable of folks as they feel the need to read about people worse off than them.
So I really do not believe that figure at all.
I for one, if I had it to do over again, would still have had my kids.
Last night in the paper there was a letter in Dear Abby about a question her sister Ann Landers had asked years before: If You Had It To Do Over Again—Would You Have Children? While the figures weren't given in the article, it was said they were shocking. I looked it up. A whopping 70% of parents said they wish they had never had children! WOW! I know you probably think that was then and this is now. That works until you read the article. The reasons they give are the very same ones you hear parents say today: children are very expensive, after children], I’m an exhausted, shrieking, nervous wreck—too tired for sex, conversation or anything else, children ruined their marriage, the world is in lousy shape, children are ungrateful and selfish, left home and forgot them, etc. Happy people don’t usually answer things like this so that has to be taken into account when looking at the 70%. But still there are a lot of people who wished they had never become parents. Could this be why we have so many screwed up children? Is it deep down these children are resented, unwanted and their parents wish they had never been born. How different would those numbers be today? Or would they be different? Ultimately I think the article makes a very good point: Parents who are unhappy about having their children have no one to talk to. How many people would walk up to their friend and say, ”I wish I had had an abortion or I wish never had children!” Where does all of that anger and frustration go if there is no one to talk to? It has to go somewhere. Maybe some of the lessons we can learn from this is parents need support from everyone. First from the community and later in life from their children via visits, phone calls, and e-mails. The latter is harder to get. The site detailing the article and its response is here: www.happilychildfree.com/ann.htm
