Oct 12, 2010 -- 10:01PM, karbie wrote:

I've read that tyler discussed the fact thathis roommate wasn't comfortable with him being gay and seemed grossed out seeing him kiss a guy. His friend asked him if was considering going to  be assigned a new roommate, but Tyler said that he was afraid with getting stuck with a worse one. He said that this guy was basically nice, and since he was willing to give Tyler privacy when he asked for it, they should be okay.

Which leaves the school in the clear but isn't going to help his roommate in court. It shows that Tyler had discussed privacy and was told he would have it. Making it a live feed shows not just breach of faith and breach of privacy, but the inability to view Tyler as a fellow human being with feelings because he was gay.

Since these suicides, there have been outpourings from older gays telling kids that it will get better when they are older. Tim Gunn's was wrenching--he tried to kill himself when he was 17 because of the stigma of being homosexual and the sense of despair. Because of his attempted suicide, he got help and went on to become very successful. He was begging kids to get help and telling them where to get it while promising that it really does get better when you are older. I have loved him from Project Runway---and if it's possible to be proud of someone you've never met, I was proud of him for that post. He's always kept his own sexuality out of the show; to make such a heart-wrenching plea to help younger kids was amazing.

There were pages of celebrities and others, all telling kids that it will get better as they get older and to please get help if they are considering suicide.

If one post saves one person, that would be tremendous. If one post makes  someone with anti-gay views  at least think about them as fellow human beings or someone else's kid,then we won't have as many replays of kids killing themselves because of how they were born.

I don't know how long after this tape hit the Internet as live feed and tyler killed himself that Raj and Molly were suspended and/or kicked out by the college--that may determine whether or not Rutgers can be sued. The same holds for some of the schoools, but when a teacher has 35+ pupils in their class, they aren't going to be able to know the students well enough to see who is despondent. If there is a record of complaining about bullies or a zero tolerence policy that is either not enforced or just selectedly enforced, the parents should be able to sue the school.

This isn't just at gay issue. And frankly -- as somebody who was bullied a lot as a kid, and who did at times seriously consider suicide, I get tired of it sometimes being turned into a gay issue. It's like youth suicide is being used as a tool to foist a certain point of view or political agenda. Which -- again as somebody who came very close a couple of times to being a victim of suicide -- frankly, sickens and disgusts me.

As I've said numerous times already, adolecent/young adult social structure in our society tends to be brutally conformist. Any kid who doesn't "fit in," so to speak, can be vulnerable to bullying. In fact, with more and more young people simply accepting homosexuality as a fact of life, it's just as likely as not that the bully could be a popular, athletic good-looking rich gay kid, and the victim be an awkward, out-of-place, nerdy or poor straight kid.

So, I would tell any young person, who is dealing with being out of the "in" crowd -- who is picked on, who is made to feel less worthy by the taunting of his or her peers -- it does get better. Don't give up, don't do yourself in. Years from now, you'll look back and realize what losers the bullies actually where.

Oct 13, 2010 -- 10:55AM, Girlchristian wrote:

I'm not sure it's all that different. My sister once had four girls beat her up simply because and the substitute teacher that was in the room said "just don't hit her in the face" (boy did that teacher regret that when my mom went to the school). I, on several occasions, had a large boy hold me down so that my face was in his crotch area while other kids looked on and laughed as I struggled to get up (as a girl, I was nowhere as strong as he was). Bullying has always been bad. Like mytmouse, i had to stand up for myself to end the bullying (and as the big sister had to stand up for my sister and brother on more than one occasion) and I had to learn how to let some things just roll off my back.

Uh, this isn't bullying, this is assualt, and to my knowledge is illegal in all states.

Oct 13, 2010 -- 11:13AM, Halcyon-days wrote:

Oct 13, 2010 -- 11:06AM, Nepenthe wrote:

Uh, this isn't bullying, this is assualt, and to my knowledge is illegal in all states.

Unfortunately, a lot of assault is passed off as bullying, as long as kids are the ones doing it.  You'd think adults would know better.

This is true. How did I stop the guy holding me down? I recruited a friend to yell at him when he was doing so and when his grip loosened a bit I was able to bring my head down with enough force that he didn't want me anywhere near his crotch again. Weirdly enough, after that, he became a friend.

I think it is better for society to teach kids not to bully than to teach kids to take it.  I think a parent has to judge just how much damage is being done to their child.  However, not all kids have parents, or brother or sisters.  

I do agree with MyTmouse, a tad, when he resents when bullying is made into a gay issue.  This current hoopla does send the message that bullying gays is worse than bullying other people. I am of the opinion that no group/religion/nationality deserves to have their rights more or less respected than another.  If if is wrong for one group, it is equally wrong for another.