I always wanted a Maine Coon too. My Molly has a lot of Persian in her. She was a stray and when I took her home, she was already pregnant by a HUGE black American shorthair stray. He was a beautiful, glossy cat. She gave birth to 3 kittens. I kept two. One of the two was Jasper. Jasper has his mother's coat and wonderful temperament and his father's glossiness and large size. Beautiful boy. He actually reminds me of a Maine Coon. He has the long hair, the size and the beauty. His temperament is active but calm and very, very, very sweet.
I am going to be really awful here but the times dictate that I must. Normally, I let people grieve over a loss before I push someone toward getting a new pet before they are ready. However, these times are dire for homeless pets. Because of the economy, pets that normally would not be homeless are. It is just awful
If you can, would you consider adopting from a shelter? I happen to find that two kittens do better than just one and aren't that much more trouble. I do think you are wonderful pet owner and there is a kitten/cat out there that needs you.
I'm not ready yet. I recently inherited my 3 year old male kitty from a friend who could no longer cope with him pooping in her bathtub. Her vet told her he was autistic, but I"m not convinced of this... I think he just may be a little slow, or possibly very reserved. Given my very limited knowledge of autism, I don't think a cat that responds to his name, seeks affection, and follows me around the house can be autistic.
I have his litter box in the bathroom. He urinates in the litter box and poops outside of it, regardless of how clean it is. Firm stools on a tile floor I can live with, it's just a matter of picking up with paper towels, flushing down the toilet, then a wipe up with simple green. If he peed on the carpet, I couldn't live with that but the poop thing I'm prepared to tolerate.
We need time to absorb the loss of kitty girl. Or, at least I do. He did try to make friends with her when he arrived, but she didn't deign to recognize him.
All the kitties I've ever had in my life were strays. I would love to have a Maine Coon cat someday, waiting for one to show up on my doorstep.
Tribalism, ethnocentricism, racism, nationalism, and FEAR is the Mind Killer... >:(
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The fact that both of you agonize so much over this pretty much says that you both did the right thing. It is hard to watch a loved one die. To call the shots at the end is a responsibility that the responsible take very seriously. Both of you, I am positive, made the right decision. These things are not black and white. Each case is different and no matter how you question yourselves, you both were the best person to make this decision. Each of you more than fulfilled your responsibility. The fact is, if life were perfect, there would have been other choices. The fact that there weren't isn't the fault of either of you. It is the limitation of life. At some point, it ends.
As badly as we all want every minute perfect for the ones we love, it just isn't going to happen. Death has a component of discomfort. Neither of you did your pet a disservice. You both made heartfelt, wise choices. In nature, the death of both of your animals would have been far more brutal and stressful. And lonely. You both trumped nature. You just can't do much better than that.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how terrible a feeling it is.
Sadly, I had the other side of that coin last spring. I made the decision to have my vey euthanize my dying cat. I felt terrible for months. Did I make the right choice? Should I have let her live a few more days?
We knew she wasn't going to get better, there was no curing her. But I often wonder if I acted too hastily. She was eating, but barely and threw up most everything she ate. She coulnd't make it up into the litterbox and went beside it. She slept all the time and wouldn't let me or anyone else touch her. I knew she was in pain.
I know I made the right choice, but it took a long time for me to accept it.
I am going to be really awful here but the times dictate that I must. Normally, I let people grieve over a loss before I push someone toward getting a new pet before they are ready. However, these times are dire for homeless pets. Because of the economy, pets that normally would not be homeless are. It is just awful
If you can, would you consider adopting from a shelter? I happen to find that two kittens do better than just one and aren't that much more trouble. I do think you are wonderful pet owner and there is a kitten/cat out there that needs you.
I think she died where she wanted to be. She died where she was love. Yes, if she had gone to the vet, she would died maybe a couple of hours sooner. The trip to the vet would have been tough on her too. All creatures slow down as they age. In general, most animals don't want to die until the end.
But. Look at it this way. You did the best you could do. The fact is, you didn't know when she was going to die or exactly what she felt. It is entirely possible, that she didn't even suffer those last few minutes. Her heart may have just given out. She was warm, cozy on her favorite blanket and loved in her last few months. Second guessing yourself isn't fair to yourself because these things are not clear cut. The best anyone can do is guess. If, and this is a HUGE IF, you let her go on too long, it wasn't that long. This was old age and not a terminal illness in a young cat. There is a gradual decline in old age and most of that is just natural and it is much more difficult to predict the suffering level at the end. I suspect if she were howling in pain, you would have acted appropriately. If she were 2 years old and all that happened, then you would KNOW for 100% certain that it wasn't normal. Old age is also brutal. When the pain is in an animal that cannot communicate perfectly, then you just do the best you can do. I promise you that even vets can't know this stuff with 100% accuracy.
If I really thought you did the wrong thing I would have a tough time being polite on this thread. Instead, I really feel your pain. I could not have done any better.
Let me put it this way, if I die and come back as a cat, let me be yours.
Appy, rasphila, thank you both... She was too tired to respond to cuddling in her last few months. Between that and the lack of grooming, perhaps she was ready to let go and I simply wasn't. I don't know, perhaps time will lend some perspective I can't manage to summon right now.
She was a mighty huntress in her younger years when she spent time indoors and out. Many gifts she brought to me, still wriggling... field mice, lizards, and birds. Once she brought down a blue jay; fortunately, when I screamed she dropped it and it flew off.
In the last 8 years she was strictly an indoor kitty. Then in the last couple years, her world shrunk from the free range of the entire house to the back bedrooms and office. Only in the last few months did her world shrink to time spent in front of the room heater on her little striped blankie. On the morning of the day she finally let go, she had a convulsion for a few seconds, then meowed, then wandered off to the kitchen where she rarely went.....
I couldn't bring myself to trundle her into the pet carrier she so loathed but told myself I would if it went on too long. Spent the first hour in the kitchen sitting on the floor next to her, then it occurred to me that my presence may make it more difficult for her to let go so I turned out the lights and stayed away --- remained within hearing distance. She died a few hours later, taking the decision out of my hands.
I still think I let her down. Truth is I don't know, I really don't but in retrospect, given her loss of zest for life, I do believe I should have taken that aspect into consideration in addition to her physical needs of food, water and waste elimination.
Tribalism, ethnocentricism, racism, nationalism, and FEAR is the Mind Killer... >:(
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I have to come to YOUR defense in this case. With cats, the ultimate sign of pain is not eating. I have never had a cat that refused to eat unless he/she was on the brink of dying, often, actually dying. I don't think you prolonged your cat's suffering. I seriously believe your cat may not have been ready to go. Yes, she may have been too tired to groom herself or perhaps the part of the brain that gives the cat that instinct may have shut down, that doesn't mean she didn't have quality life. The fact that she still liked cuddling says a lot. I suspect she loved her life and wanted to hang on.
Now, I do support, one hundred percent, euthanizing a suffering cat. If they are lying in their own filth, moaning, panting or not eating and totally listless. If they are vomiting and it cannot be alleviated, if they are bleeding blood. If your vet tells you that it is going on too long. If they are too tired to respond to cuddling or anything. If they can't watch a bird outside, it is time for them to go.
I also think it is wrong to artificially prolong the suffering. A kidney transplant for an 18 year old cat is just absurd and inhumane. That is when you have to let go. Even prolonging a FeLv cat that has to be shored up by the vet every 3 days and only has a few hours of peace between vet visits. There comes a time to let the animal go. Vet visits are very stressful to cats.
I don't think you let it go on too long. At the end, for all of us, death is going to have SOME discomfort. Even if it is just a few moments, hours or months. That is the nature of death. Just because your cat had some discomfort at the very end maybe, is not enough to let them go months before. I just believe that if they eat, they have some desire to live. In severe human depression, patients can't eat. Refusing to eat is the ultimate in giving up. Part of that cat was hanging on. I think your instincts were right.
Your baby died. That was going to happen. You let nature do it. She may have gone into the kitchen because the floors were different. Perhaps, they were cooler, smoother, something. Maybe she was just moving away from her pain and didn't know what direction. That doesn't mean she suffered her entire time. It just means those last few moments may have hurt. It wasn't months or even days that she was lying on that floor. It was her last moments. That is just the brutality of death. It isn't your failing. Not in this case. I seriously don't think so.
On Sunday, I laid my 19 year old kitty to rest. Wrapped up in her favorite blanket where she liked to curl up next to the heater, I buried her under the shelter of a mighty tree. May the leaves shelter her from the sun and the rain, may the roots hold her, may the birds that find harbor in the tree sing to her, and may this huge void in my heart eventually stitch back together....
We learn to embrace some of the best aspects of humanity from our children and pets. That best within us originates from Unconditional Love and Compassion. Yet I just learned another lesson from my little baby girl kitty... That part of Unconditional Love is knowing when to Let Go.... part of compassion and mercy is knowing when to Let Go.
I didn't learn to let go soon enough for my baby girl, so I have to live with the knowledge that I may have prolonged her suffering BECAUSE I didn't know how to Let Go. I knew that as elderly and crotchety as she was getting, that eventually I would have to mourn her. A few months ago, she stopped grooming herself. She's always been such a meticulous kitty, I should have listened to this clue. She stopped seeking affection and quit hopping up into my lap in a fuzzy ball of purring kitty contentment. I should have listened to this clue but I didn't. Because her appetite was still healthy, because she continued to drink plenty of water, because she didn't exhibit any difficulty hopping into and out of her litter box, I only listened to her physical needs and didn't take a holistic approach to consider her emotional needs as well.
I probably should have taken her to the vet a few months ago but I didn't want to let her go. Instead, she died at home in the kitchen, where she rarely went. I believe she went to the kitchen to die because she didn't want to die where she had lived.
The decision to euthanize a dear and beloved member of the family is never easy, but we have to learn to take the "me" out of it and allow the needs of our beloved pets to take priority. If quality of life has gone down to the point where a meticulous princess kitty no longer grooms herself and no longer cuddles in the lap, it may be time to consider offering the ultimate in compassion and selfless love... an end to pain. I've since learned that there are vets in some areas who will come to your home to euthanize your pet.
I hope I'll remember this lesson 1001 I learned from my little baby kitty girl... I miss her dearly.
Tribalism, ethnocentricism, racism, nationalism, and FEAR is the Mind Killer... >:(
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