Hi everyone, i'm  french speaking and plz excuse -me for my bad English. I need some counselling; i've been living with a man for almost a year and we are expecting a baby. I got in the relationship with my little son aged 4, 1/2. And as you may guess, things started quite badly  between my man and his stepson because he was rejected him as I brought him by myself and he wasn't used to share me with someonelse. For me I was thinking that time and patience would change the situation but instead, we were only quarreling over and over almost every week;  he regretted that my son didn't like him and accused me of not doing anything to back him and on the contrary tof nurturing a bad climate among us.  After some time, I finally decided to let him manage our family the way it would suit him so he could feel at his ease --- i forgot to say that we are living in my appartment for the time being to move to  a new place.-- He 's a nice guy but he is imposing  my son not to talk about his father in front of him or that i have to  ignore when he asks to see him.  With the father of my kid we have never had  a good relation  in sense that he doesn't respect me and would like to come and pick his son whenever  he wants ( he can ring  20 minutes before to ask after his son and stay months without giving any news, nor even ring...). But yet, my son knows his father and has the right to see him whether I like it or not.  And so far since the last time he called by to pick his son,  a month ago  now,  my fiancé asked me not to mention this topic again and to let the boy get used to this situation. In front of God I'm feeling so bad and guilty because I haven't reacted yet  and taken any step. My fiancé insisted on the fact that he would feel better to take his responsibilities as a stepfather and that it would help him to act the same with his true son and his stepson. And we should wait for my son to grow  and when he would be 14/15 years old  to get back in touch with his father even to go and live with him...  How can i find a way out that satisfies everyone ? Thanks for your help and God bess you all.

could you be more precise " know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant... "...?

Thx for you reply.

iyond wrote:

could you be more precise " know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant... "...?

Thx for you reply.

That is their signature and not meant as a reply to your post.


Personally, I agree though.

Current man needs to accept Former man and his new place in your new family.  I do think counceling is in order, especially since you are uncomfortable with the way he is running the household.