Important Announcement

See here for an important message regarding the community which has become a read-only site as of October 31.

Post Reply
Page 2 of 2  •  Prev 1 2
Switch to Forum Live View Interfaith family problems
10 years ago  ::  Apr 04, 2008 - 5:47PM #11
Posts: 625
I am sure when you dated that you knew this was going to occur.  After all you also often marry the family of your spouse. 

As an intelligent person I am sure you talked about this before marriage and agreed how to handle it.  Why are your surprised?

I would not worry about a funeral-it is more likely that they will pass before you anyway.  But I hope you and your husband made plans for this.

As a Jew I know it is normal that a non-Jewish spouse can not be buried in a Jewish cemetary, and this may also be a problem for the two of you.  The answer usually is that since people like to be next to their spouse for eternity that you find a secular cememtary.  I know a Rabbi is not allowed to officate at a funeral that takes place in one, but people are prepared for this when they have an interfaith marriage.  If a non-Catholic can be buried in a Catholic cemetary you are all set!

You married your husband knowing that there would be interfaith problems so do not be surprised.  It may not help but you will have to just "suck it up" as they say.  Unfortunatly your children are the ones who will suffer emotionally the most.  I hope they have enough family who are not this way so that they can have family who they can find love and caring with.

Meanwhile you just live the best way you know how and if they care they will see you and your child are good people and be good to you.  I am sure this is a way of acting that is considered a non-Christian way of acting.
You would think they would want to set a example of loving and caring people so you might want to join in with them and maybe convert. 

You have made a choice and now need to live with it.  Somehow you will have to find a way of explaining their actions to a little child who is definitly going to be very hurt.  You might want to consult a child psychologist or read books on the subject.

Maybe your husband could go to their priest and have him talk to the family and while they will be "good" to you hoping I am sure that you convert, it will make life easier.

Quick Reply
9 years ago  ::  Feb 12, 2009 - 12:59PM #12
Posts: 1
Hi there ~

I work for MTV News & Documentaries in New York, and I'm currently researching a new round of episodes for MTV's long-running series, True Life. The series, if you're unfamiliar, employs first-person narrative storytelling to provide a window into the lives of young Americans. To date, the series has explored topics as complex as living with a disorder such as autism or obsessive-compulsive disorder; living in extreme poverty; single parenting; and being deployed to and returning from military service in Iraq.

True Life also explores all aspects of human relationships--families and friendships, among other things. We're currently exploring the idea of a True Life episode featuring young people who are involved in a family feud. We are interested in hearing from people with all kinds of stories, from those who are having major disputes with their families, people who are currently seeking counseling to settle their quarrels, people having to take legal action against their family members, families feuding with other families like modern-day Hatfields and McCoys, and everything in between. Can you help us put out our call for stories?

We're specifically looking for stories that are unfolding in the present, in which the feud plays a role in a process, upcoming decision, change or transition on the horizon for the people involved.

We would like to get the word out to people in our age range (17-28, roughly, though anyone who appears younger than 28 is welcome to submit their story) who might be interested in possibly sharing their story and ultimately participating in a documentary project that would follow as they navigate whatever conflict, tension, obstacle, or decision they are facing because of or related to their family feud.

I have attached a flyer detailing what we are looking for, and if you could help us by forwarding, posting, or printing and hanging it up anywhere you feel is appropriate, we'd be grateful.

Let me know and thanks for any assistance you can provideā€¦ if there is anyone else you think I should contact about this project, or if you have any questions, please feel free to get in touch with my producer at (212) 846-5584 or by email at

Best regards,

Phillip Thomas
MTV-True Life
Quick Reply
9 years ago  ::  Mar 04, 2009 - 10:46AM #13
Posts: 531

I had a similar issues with my in-laws. My husband being an ex catholic and they being devoted catholics. I was worried too. But they attended our fully pagan wedding and have thankfully accepted our lifestyle. However I was prepared if I felt it was necessary, (ie scaring any of my future children with stories of hell fire, attacking our faith openly, etc..) and so was my husband to keep them out of our life except for holidays and family events. Even less, but I didn't think it would come to that. Time has changed, along with both our hearts and thankfully we have a good relationship. Better than we hoped for. It took time, but we have to an understanding and respect for one another. However, sadly it might have come that way for you, with your in-laws. If your in-laws feel the way they do, you can't change them. Maybe after they see their grandchildren get bigger and their son start to age, they may have a change of heart.

My advise. Don't speak ill of them to or around your children. See them at the bare minimun as you possibliy can. If your daughter does follow your faith, advise her to their reaction and support her discussion. Even if that means standing up to them, for her sake. If they cut you off, make sure your husband stand by you. Even if that means he cuts them off. When they choose not to be so selfish and close minded then, and you might have to change as well a little, maybe then you can have a relationship of some kind. Even if its just the multeal respect, of I don't talk to you and you don't talk to me. You don't have to tolerate such abuse. Really, why even bring up something as sad as a funeral.

Quick Reply
Page 2 of 2  •  Prev 1 2
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing

    Beliefnet On Facebook