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Switch to Forum Live View Why do people expect so MUCH out of small children?
6 years ago  ::  Aug 15, 2008 - 1:49PM #1
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277
I was out today, shopping for a dress for the hospital's Black Tie dinner next month.
I HATE shopping.  I esp. hate it when it's for something that I probably won't wear more than a couple times before it gets shoved to the back of the closet.

Anyway...  Today I was in the Intimate Apparel section because the dress I found ($50!! down from $110) was too low cut for any bras that I have and being, well let's just say "healthy", I MUST wear a bra with everything but the very biggest t-shirts.
So, I'm, literally, at the opposite end of the store from the parking lot entrance and I hear this baby SCREAMING, I mean this poor kid had gone beyond crying, it was just squalling.  I heard this poor child screaming for 20 minutes!  The mother shopped with that screaming child for more than TWENTY MINUTES, she was still there, kid still screaming when I left.
I heard her say, "Well, I'm NOT going home just to put you down for a nap now.  I don't want to come back out."  I HAD to speak up and tell her... "Yeah, pretty RUDE of the kid to expect you to let him SLEEP, when you simply MUST get a new pair of shoes."
I was SO angry! 
Who does that to a kid?  I've seen the woman, I know who she is.  She did not "have" to be out, it was J.C. Penney's, not a grocery store.  She has a nanny and three babysitters.  Why did she feel the need to force this 15 month old child to shop?  THEN expect him to behave like an adult?  It's not like she had to take him with her.
Hell, my husband would have been whining if he'd had to go with me.  He only goes to the Black Tie dinner because he knows it's the only time that I really get to get decked out really dressy.  So, he suffers it for me.  But he said.. "I'll go to the affair, but only if I don't have to go with you to pick out the dress."
James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 16, 2008 - 8:30AM #2
Qryos
Posts: 32
~ Oooh... At a Target, in the underwear section, heard a *slap* & then after a pause...
{y'know, that pause...} a screaming cry. & another slap & another ...
I was looking over the aisles along with  5,  6 other women, like tigers honing in.
Before I got there that child was held by someone other than that pissed-off mother
& a crowd of women were holding that beater until security arrived.
{ I left before the lynch-mob was fully assembled }

... I know, it can be seriously frustrating trying to get anything done with small children in tow.
Hell, it's often dammm near impossible!
But if that's what ya need to do & that's how you must do it, then do it.
But never ever abuse a child. I don't care how tired & frustrated you are.

I don't know why anyone with a nanny {never known anyone with a nanny ;) }
would need to bore & tire a child with a shopping trip!
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 16, 2008 - 11:24AM #3
IHOP
Posts: 2,179
omg... I hate stories like that.


Thats right... if you have to shop and have a nanny, and it's nap time, then by all means, USE THE NANNY.

If you are angry adn frustrated at a child, while shopping for clothes, then LEAVE.  Clothes are NOT an immediate necessity.  I doubt all your clothes will fall off in the next 2 minutes.
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 16, 2008 - 6:12PM #4
Rivermom
Posts: 196
I think the problem is that all the sitters and nannies tend to weaken the parent/child bond.  Our culture tends to do that anyway.  Children are not valued unless they are big enough to play sports or perform well enough to make the parent look good amongst the peers.  Childrens needs are put on the back burner for those whose main focus is elsewhere.  I am not saying that all parents are like this, you just run into them on shopping trips because the parents who really understand a child's needs would not subject them to this.  They would nap first, or leave when they realized they had made a mistake injudging how tired their child was.  You will hear them apologizing and reassuring the child that they are going home and it will be ok. 

I am glad to hear that folks are finally realizing child abuse is everyone's business and getting involved.
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 16, 2008 - 7:02PM #5
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277
Leaving the kid with a sitter or nanny has nothing to do with their value.  It has to do with the appropriateness of taking them out.  It does not devalue the kid to not take him everywhere.
It's not appropriate to take a toddler on a shopping expedition that is going to entail Mom trying on clothes, dragging the toddler all over the store/mall for hours on end.
You just don't do that to small kids.
James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 17, 2008 - 1:54AM #6
Qryos
Posts: 32
~ Exactly. You don't do that.
Hell, shopping is frustrating enough! But subject little ones to it?

~ Rivermom, I believe I know what you're saying...
The transient nature of child-care givers disrupts the bonding young humans need. & that's not good in any way!

Personally, I'm a Grandmother that, with my husband, watches our 2 yr-old Granddaughter 9 hrs a day, 5 days a week.
{We're getting another Grandbabe in December! :) }
She & soon they have consistency, which is one of the most important things a baby needs {not just wants}.
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 18, 2008 - 11:28AM #7
windwizard
Posts: 748
Sometimes I think its the mothers who need the 'nap' to get rid of the 'grouchies' and not the children who are really just being kids!  lol
I have run across so many in my time who simply should have found a way to hire a nanny, the day the child was born......they have very little parenting skills and oh so short of tempers that I often wonder how some of those precious packages get to their teenage years!   Now I know children can be a handfull but as the mother you should know your child well enough by the age of 1 for Gods sake, to know a general rule of how they act on shopping trips.  Some children love it,  and others would rather be anywhere but shopping!  *smile*   usually as strangers we can pick it out funny thing that the mother seems to have so much trouble knowing that precious didnt want to shop today!  hehehe

Ive never seen anyone held by the crowd after slapping a child~~ glad to hear the public can be found doing this sort of thing......there was a time when the slapping might have turned to the one trying to hold onto the parent !  lol

*
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 18, 2008 - 12:00PM #8
IreneAdler
Posts: 2,849
Isn’t this why they created on-line shopping?

Seriously, there’s gonna be times where the shopping trip will need to end before purchasing all needed items. That’s part of the child-raising experience. And, as Tolerant Sis points out, a little planning, so child can be watched by someone, makes for a better time for all concerned. 

Given the length of time the child wailed, sounds like this shopping trip was something spur of the moment- she needed something right away. Not an excuse, but I sure hope this sort of treatment doesn’t happen again.   I sure couldn’t listen to a child carry on for 20 minutes. I just couldn’t.  Oh, that poor child!


I heard her say, "Well, I'm NOT going home just to put you down for a nap now. I don't want to come back out." I HAD to speak up and tell her... "Yeah, pretty RUDE of the kid to expect you to let him SLEEP, when you simply MUST get a new pair of shoes."
(This mother sure qualifies for Insensitive Mother of the Year Award)

Wish the store clerk had said “well I’m not going to ring up these purchases until your child has been properly attended to.” But that might give the store an “anti-child” reputation.  Can’t win.


Irene.
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 18, 2008 - 3:32PM #9
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277
The cashier would have been fired on the spot if she said that.   That's why I could not refrain from sarcasm.  She was a bitch... and I showed her what a real bitch is.
I wanted to pick that poor baby up and just give it a big hug.... after I slapped his mother.
James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 18, 2008 - 3:39PM #10
Tmarie64
Posts: 5,277
Exactly, TS.  If it's groceries, I can understand.  You MUST have food.  But there is nothing that JC Penney's sells that you cannot live without.
James Thurber - "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
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