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Sticky: Memoes to Pets
10 years ago  ::  Nov 21, 2007 - 10:57AM #1
appy20
Posts: 10,165
To:  Magellan

From: Appy

Subject:  Dishwasher

The diswasher door is not a trampoline.  Please memorize this.  it is not for jumping, springing up or down or just bouncing on.  Also, when you hang out in the diswasher, you are not cute.  Or at least, I'm not going to admit it to YOU.
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10 years ago  ::  Nov 21, 2007 - 1:38PM #2
appy20
Posts: 10,165
To:  Hershey
From:  Appy
Subject:  Traffic jams

What part of Move do you not understand?  You are the equivalent of a doggy Einstein and have a very large comprehensive vocabulary yet you don't get the word "move."  I spend a lot of time stepping over, walking around and pushing your 85 lbs around so I can get to stuff.  You have an uncanny knack for blocking hallways, doorways and whatever appliance I am trying to get to.  Sometimes, I feel like I say the word "Move" a hundred times a day.  Is this necessary?  The cats get "move" and the horse gets "move" so it is time you got it too.  And btw, MOVE!
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10 years ago  ::  Nov 21, 2007 - 9:40PM #3
HappyAmber
Posts: 373
To: Mystery
From: Happy
Subject: My breast

I do not mind at all that you want to curl up on my bossom, perhaps the sound and feel of my heartbeat soothes you. What I do mind, however, is when you stand on one or both of them with what seems like all of your weight, and just stare into space. OUCH. it hurts!
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10 years ago  ::  Nov 21, 2007 - 9:44PM #4
HappyAmber
Posts: 373
To: Magic and Mystery
From: Happy
Subject: Bullying

The bullying of the girls has got to stop. There is simply no reason for it. This is a big house, there is plenty of food, water and litter boxes, no need to chase others away. There is also no need to go into the den for the sole purpose of chasing and harrassing GG. She lives here, accept it.
I also want you both to leave Alex alone, you know she is old and she doesn't want you near her, but you both just HAVE to aggitate her and get as close as you can and scream "I'm not touching you"...Stop it. Just stop it. Can't we all just get along?
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10 years ago  ::  Nov 21, 2007 - 9:40PM #5
HappyAmber
Posts: 373
To: Mystery
From: Happy
Subject: My breast

I do not mind at all that you want to curl up on my bossom, perhaps the sound and feel of my heartbeat soothes you. What I do mind, however, is when you stand on one or both of them with what seems like all of your weight, and just stare into space. OUCH. it hurts!
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10 years ago  ::  Nov 21, 2007 - 9:44PM #6
HappyAmber
Posts: 373
To: Magic and Mystery
From: Happy
Subject: Bullying

The bullying of the girls has got to stop. There is simply no reason for it. This is a big house, there is plenty of food, water and litter boxes, no need to chase others away. There is also no need to go into the den for the sole purpose of chasing and harrassing GG. She lives here, accept it.
I also want you both to leave Alex alone, you know she is old and she doesn't want you near her, but you both just HAVE to aggitate her and get as close as you can and scream "I'm not touching you"...Stop it. Just stop it. Can't we all just get along?
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10 years ago  ::  Nov 22, 2007 - 9:25AM #7
gpfm11
Posts: 174

HappyAmber wrote:

I also want you both to leave Alex alone, you know she is old and she doesn't want you near her, but you both just HAVE to aggitate her and get as close as you can and scream "I'm not touching you"...Stop it. Just stop it. Can't we all just get along?



Lol, my cat does this too. He simply does it to drive the my oldest cat crazy. She will be peacefully sleeping on the couch and he likes to jump up and stand *this close* to her, staring, until she wakes up to see him. When she finally takes notice of him, she narrows her eyes and starts to growl. Not being a gentleman at all, he takes this as an invitation to wrestle, which leads to some very loud protestations from my old girl, who will then proceed to run away as fast as she can.

While this used to upset me greatly, I have noticed that SHE never has a scratch or bruise on her, while HE (the instigator) is often quite sore for a few days after. :eek:

~sigh~ and they are like toddlers, they can't get along, but they can't leave each other alone either.

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10 years ago  ::  Nov 23, 2007 - 11:14AM #8
rasphila
Posts: 784
To: Sam

Re: Your request that all doors be open at all times

We've thought about your request, and we find we can only agree to part of it.

The front door to the house, which leads to the front porch, will remain shut because we don't want to heat the front porch and the outdoors. The door to the porch will remain shut because we don't want just anybody coming onto our porch, especially not people who want to steal our stuff. We will open both of these doors when we are leaving the house, but cats can't go to work with Ruth or to the store with me. You can help me with my work, but please don't walk on the computer keyboard. Strange things happen when you do this.

The door to the dining room will be closed when we are having our dinner. We will make sure that you've had your dinner before we feed ourselves.

The door to the back room on the second floor will remain closed because there are plants in there, and you always get sick when you chew on plants. Do you want another week of pink medicine? Or an extra trip to the vet?

While we're on the subject, we have a request about the front door. Will you please stop sneaking out onto the porch and hiding under the bench? Sometimes this means you get locked onto the porch, and it can get cold out there at night. We've discussed this several times. You are a sensible cat, and you should have figured out by now that locked out on the porch=stuck there for the night unless your humans hear you hollering and rescue you.

Other doors will remain open most of the time, as you requested.
"Prediction is very hard, especially when it's about the future."—Yogi Berra
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10 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2007 - 12:50PM #9
appy20
Posts: 10,165
Amber, I am afraid your memo got to Magellan and he misinterpreted it.  He thinks he is supposed to crush my breast.  He likes to nap there too. 

This whole memo thing has completely backfired on me.  For one thing, apparently, Magellan got Hershey's memo too because he is now tripping me in the kitchen. 

Another thing, Magellan taught Diva how to bounce on the dishwasher door.
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10 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2007 - 1:32PM #10
MsCGheartofohio
Posts: 745
(ROFLMAO)

TO:     Miss Kitty

RE:     Water

The fresh, cool water I just poured into your nice clean dish is for you.  Drink as much as you like, and I will get you more.  The water in my glass is for me to drink.  I do not want it flavored with Salmon Fancy Feast.

The bathtub that you like to sit in after I shower is wet because it has had water in it.  Your butt gets wet because you are sitting in water.  The same water makes everything outside wet when it rains, but you will not sit or walk on a wet surface if it is outside.  This is not my fault.
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